Stuff Athletes Might Regret Buying If They Went Broke
We all need to let go every now and again; and whether that means going out to dinner or spending two weeks at a resort in Ko Samui, letting go costs money. It only becomes a problem when treating yourself means not paying the bills. Our problem also happens to be the cornerstone of the credit industry.
We try to make more money to avoid these situations altogether—getting rich means freedom from having to differentiate between living expenses and impulse purchases. However, lots of money doesn’t mean you won’t find yourself with no money in the blink of an eye. For professional athletes, a big contract puts them in the highest tax bracket once pen is put to paper. But the very nature of the business can reverse their fortunes in less time than it took to ink the deal.
You can’t blame a suddenly wealthy 20-something for wanting to have nice things—a bigger house, a nicer car, a place for mom. Sometimes, however, that signing bonus is used to buy things that come preloaded with post-bankruptcy regret, like luxury cars customized to the point of becoming a future eBay curiosity. And we often get a sneak preview because athletes love to show off on Instagram.
This is the stuff athletes might regret buying if they went broke.
Earlier this year, Baltimore Ravens linebacker C.J. Mosley bought the first diamond-encrusted over gold grill of his life. Splurging on one grill is a little silly, but not that big of a deal.
But Mosley makes it sound like this could be the first in a long line of grills he will purchase in the future—something he'll regret if his finances go south at some point.
Of course Houston Rockets big man Dwight Howard has an extensive cologne collection. This guy used to be one of the most well-liked athletes in American sports before he spent two solid years destroying every ounce of goodwill he’d earned.
So, in addition to the scorn heaped on him following ugly exits from Orlando and Los Angeles, now we know that you can probably smell Howard before you even see him. Souvenir shot glasses would be a more dignified and less costly investment.
An Olympic medalist many times over, American Ryan Lochte sure can swim—which is truly a gift given how few other things he excels at. His failed E! reality show, What Would Ryan Lochte Do?, was canceled after one season after learning the answer to that question is not much.
Outside the pool, shoes seem to be Lochte’s biggest passion. From 2010-13 he spent a lot of time modeling shoes, talking about shoes, designing shoes and trying to convince people his shoes weren’t the ugliest things on Earth. But since they are the ugliest things on Earth, the momentum has died in Lochte’s aspiring fashion career.
Hopefully he’s been investing wisely, otherwise it’s going to be hard for Lochte to even wear his hideous animal head shoes without thinking they’re laughing at him.
Oh jeez. At least it’s easy enough to assume Ryan Lochte doesn’t know any better; however, there is, quite simply, no excuse for these J.R. Smith monstrosities. Obviously he can afford all the ridiculous customized Timberlands he wants—stupid shoes alone won’t bankrupt an NBA player.
But if Smith does go broke, it seems likely that he’ll see these in his closet and question some of his own decision-making over the years.
Many athletes go overboard on buying bling after going pro, which is very unfortunate because gaudy customized jewelry, particularly diamonds, is a dubious investment at best. Not like leasing a sports car bad, but not far off.
Let’s hope Pittsburgh Steelers center Maurkice Pouncey is being wise with some of his money, because the resale value on three diamond-encrusted on gold Jesus necklaces won’t be near what he may think it is. Seriously…three?
Although luxury timepieces are far less garish than some of the other jewelry commonly seen on professional athletes—like diamond encrusted grills and Jesus pendants—they’re still a splurge deemed as excessive by many.
Memphis Grizzlies forward Matt Barnes’ six-in-one watch is pretty ridiculous looking, but it’s much better than wasting money on six separate watches. That being said, Barnes is going to need to do a lot better if he wants Rihanna to notice him for real.
Chicago Bears safety Antrel Rolle has made enough money over the course of his NFL career that, at this point, it’d be more of a surprise if he didn’t own a Maserati GranTurismo, among the rest of his cars.
No matter what becomes of his financial situation down the road, it’s hard to imagine regretting a ride that sweet. That comically overpriced Louis Vuitton purse, on the other hand? Rolle could absolutely do without that.
With a net worth of nearly $300 million and climbing, soccer superstar Cristiano Ronaldo’s entire existence is a golden brown (and probably sticky) shrine to modern excess. It doesn’t get more excessive than plunking down $18.5 million on a New York City loft in Trump Tower. Or does it?
It does. Just weeks before Ronaldo’s latest personal real estate acquisition, he parted with a few shekels ($3.2 million, to be exact) to purchase another property. And it wasn’t even for himself—Ronaldo bought his agent, Jorge Mendes, his very own Greek island as a wedding gift in early August.
Credit to Cleveland Cavaliers shooting guard Iman Shumpert for thinking outside the box and spending money on something that isn’t a luxury sports car and/or a metric ton of ugly gold jewelry that’s littered with diamonds.
That’s not to say Shumpert doesn’t actually own those things (in fact, he does), but at least he owns some art too. However, that particular piece feels like one he might regret purchasing down the road.
Detroit Lions tight end Eric Ebron has only been in the NFL for one year, but he’s already spending his money like a seasoned pro. He has the flashy red sports car. He has the Rolex. And, unfortunately, he has the grill and tacky gold pendants.
It’s a good thing Ebron has a top-notch agent that was able to get all $12.2 million of his deal guaranteed, because he’s going to need all of it if he keeps up this level of spending over the course of his career.
Based on the caption alone, we don’t know anything for certain about how or why retired boxer Mike Tyson came about what looks to be a golden bust of his own head. Apparently it was created by a friend of his, but was it commissioned or a gift? And is it real gold or a less expensive alloy (like brass)?
Given Tyson’s well-documented history of excess, eventually followed by a very predictable bankruptcy, it certainly doesn’t seem out of the realm of possibilities that he would buy something this ridiculous. Something he would most definitely regret if he has to file for bankruptcy again in the future.
After winning the Masters in 2012, his first win at a major, PGA pro Bubba Watson decided to fulfill another one of his dreams by purchasing the the General Lee, a 1969 Dodge Charger from the television show The Dukes of Hazzard.
Three years later, and Watson seems as enamored with his car as ever. But the $110,000 he spent would have to be at the top of his regrettable spending list if he were to ever find himself in financial distress down the line.
NFL running backs have notoriously short careers, which, combined with the rookie wage scale, is a recipe for future financial floundering. With a four-year contract that pays an average of $687,000 a year, San Francisco 49ers running back Mike Davis needs to mind his money.
Dropping $2,000 on meals for NFL veterans is not advisable. Dropping way more than that on brand-new Corvettes is also not advisable. But there is nothing less advisable than spending even a single dollar on that customized, fur-trimmed disaster pictured above. Yikes.
Floyd Mayweather Jr.
Routinely topping the annual list of highest paid athletes in the world, boxer Floyd Mayweather can spend more than anyone else in sports because he makes more than anyone else in sports. And boy, does this guy know how to burn through cash.
First of all, in addition to the fleet of stupidly expensive rides Mayweather owns himself, he may be singlehandedly keeping the oversized novelty bow market alive. And check out his Instagram account—the cars are just the tip of the iceberg.
The problem with Mayweather’s out of control spending is that his earning potential ends the minute he retires. Unlike most athletes, endorsements account for a minuscule portion of his income. Within a decade of his final fight, Mayweather is going regret an awful lot of purchases…and gambling losses.