(Warning: Some content in the video above is graphic.)
Randy Orton is everywhere at all times.
He was there that time you drank peppermint schnapps and went ice-skating. He dropped the hammer the first time you set foot on a skateboard.
What scientists won't tell you is that "gravity" is just the invisible hands of Orton, always waiting at the ready to rock-shock-kaboom you into the Earth’s mantle with a signature "RKO" knockout.
Vine magician Steve Ozzie has gone to incredible lengths to visualize the WWE forces at play when people eat it, and now, thanks to YouTube user jp oshannassy, all his Orton-centric work can be viewed in one video.
This is Orton slithering and RKO-ing his way through some of the most painful and funny tumbles on the Internet.
A few notes:
1. Humans are a stupid and beautiful species.
2. If I could only make one facial expression for the rest of my life, it would be this one.
3. Show your kids the incident at the one-minute, eight-second mark. They will never do parkour.
4. When you slam milk on the ground at a grocery store, you're begging for an RKO.
5. Don't skate and coffee.
Now that we've covered this, I hope everyone appreciates their new understanding of the laws of physics.
Weight and the sensation of falling aren't products of relativity and the curvature of space-time; they're byproducts of Orton’s overwhelming need to drop your face to the Earth.
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