Epic Germany-Brazil Blowout Will Never Be Matched Again, in Any Sport

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Epic Germany-Brazil Blowout Will Never Be Matched Again, in Any Sport
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It's our dream, as writers, to chronicle history. Whenever a big event rolls around, those of us who have the privilege to cover such things get excited for what's to come. Our words, somewhere in the ether of time, space and futuristic gigabits, will accompany the events of this World Cup forever.

None of us—not one writer on the entire planet—saw this one coming. None of us had Germany putting an absolute thrashing on the host nation of Brazil to the tune of 7-1.

This is uncharted territory, not just for soccer, but for any sport. No major event ever turned into such an unforgettable sporting massacre.

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Sure, with Neymar lost to injury and Thiago Silva lost to suspension, many of us thought Germany would prevail over Brazil in the World Cup semifinals, but nobody—none of us—saw this coming.

Seven goals for Germany is inconceivable. That just doesn't happen. Nobody scores seven goals on anyone anymore, not in a major competition like the World Cup*.

Nobody does that in a match as big as the semifinals. Nobody does that to Brazil. In Brazil! There is no parallel for this in any sporting event. 

(*Okay, it has happened quite a bit in the World Cup, including a few times in the last decade or so. Portugal beat North Korea 7-0 in 2010. Germany beat Saudi Arabia 8-0 in 2002. But not like this. Not to Brazil. In Brazil.)

It's funny, in a way, because while it truly is a sportswriter's dream to chronicle history, when something this historic happens, it's nearly impossible to find the right words.

There is no way to properly put this loss in perspective because nothing like this has ever happened before. It's unimaginable that anything, in any sport, will happen like this again.

"This game is going to be referred to for many, many, many years to come," Steve McManaman offered during the ESPN telecast. "We will refer to this game in 50 years' time."

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Can anyone put that into proper sports perspective? The first 29 minutes of Germany's systematic beatdown of Brazil, in which it took a 5-0 lead on the host nation, were like watching a pitcher give up five grand slams before the fifth inning…in Game 7 of the World Series.

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You could equate this match to being swept in the NBA playoffs after losing the final game at home…if the final score in the series clincher was 100-12.

Remember the 2007 national title game when Florida smacked Ohio State to the tune of 41-14? Yeah, well, at least the Buckeyes had a lead in that game. Brazil didn't score its lone goal until the 90th minute.

We thought this year's Super Bowl was a blowout, with Seattle beating Denver 43-8? This was worse. This was way worse. This is worse than Denver losing 55-10 to San Francisco in Super Bowl XXIV. This is worse than every bad loss in every Super Bowl…combined.

Tiger Woods winning the 2000 U.S. Open by 15 strokes, when he finished 12-under par and nobody else broke par?  

This was worse than any of that. This was like a 28-0 Ryder Cup victory for Europe at Augusta National.

This was the first time that Brazil had given up seven goals in a match in 80 years. Eighty. The seven tallies were the most allowed by a host nation in any World Cup in a history that goes back to 1934. Let's be honest, some really crappy nations have hosted World Cups in the past, but none were beaten as badly as this.

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This was the first loss for the Selecao on home soil in a match that mattered in nearly 40 years.

Four decades since Brazil lost a non-friendly on home turf, and that's the effort it put out?

Yes, this one is worse than all the other blowouts, and this will surely be remembered for as long as we chronicle history.

Perspective be damned, it's even worse than all of that. Brazil had fewer clearances—four—than goals scored by Germany in the area. The Germans scored seven goals, but anyone watching the match could see that 10 was well within reach. (And if it weren't for a lazy finish by Mesut Ozil, it would have been eight goals for certain.)

Brazil stopped trying before the third German tally even hit the back of the net. Germany didn't even have to try very hard to score the rest.

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It was a complete and utter destruction, so much so that the Brazilian fans started to cheer for Germany when the European power had the ball in threatening positions.

After seven goals, can you blame them?

The scene was reminiscent of the end of Rocky IV, when all the Russian fans suddenly started cheering for Rocky in the final round. He miraculously began landing all of his punches, and Drago just stood there like a statue, not even bothering to muster up a defense.

Yeah, this was worse than that too.

If history remembers this game properly—if it's our job to use words like this to do just that—this will go down as the worst defeat any of us will ever see. It was exactly that bad. It may have been worse.

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