What is the purpose of life? Where do we go when we die? Can Michael Jordan palm a cooked turkey?
We’ve all spent our share of late nights parsing these mysteries, and now, we have an answer (to the last one).
Jordan can palm a cooked turkey, as he proved on Tuesday night’s Jimmy Kimmel Live!
His Airness joined Kimmel via video feed for a segment titled “Can Jordan Palm It?”
Kimmel introduced the segment with his usual candor.
“Michael Jordan is someone I have always dreamed of having on the show,” Kimmel said. “Unfortunately, he has always dreamed of not doing the show...but we cornered him, we caught up with Michael at a golf course on the set of his new Hanes X-Temp commercial, and he agreed to play a round of ‘Can Michael Jordan Palm It?’.”
As its name suggests, “Can Michael Jordan Palm It?” involved Jordan attempting to pick up random objects with one hand. Spoiler alert: He is not omnipotent in these matters.
Jordan started things off by grabbing a honeydew melon, which made for easy work.
After that, the difficulty level jumped considerably. Jordan failed to palm a bowling ball and a globe—no easy tasks for anyone, but perhaps mitt-handed individuals like Spurs guard Kawhi Leonard and NBA draft candidate Noah Vonleh.
Jordan’s redemption came with the introduction of a cooked turkey, which he palmed handily until the packaging slipped from his fingers. I’ll give him full credit for that one.
As for Jordan’s stage presence, he played along amicably for a guy who allegedly wanted nothing to do with the show. I would guess Kimmel’s subtle plug for Hanes underwear softened Jordan’s anti-late night stance.
As for the laugh factor, “Can Jordan Palm It?” was a simple, hilarious bit. Something about watching Jordan massaging a globe, desperately trying to find the sweet spot is extremely satisfying. Then again, I’m easily entertained.
Congrats, Mr. Kimmel. Only you could squander a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity with Michael Jordan on something so gloriously stupid. I’m sincerely impressed.
On the Twitters.