Pittsburgh Penguins: They Came, They Laughed, They Conquered!

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Last night, the Ottawa Senators went to embarrassing measures that ultimately made their efforts ‘laughable’.

In a pre-game opening that was supposed to symbolize Captain Daniel Alfredsson’s return, a buffed wannabe Spartan warrior took to the ice and spewed clichés from the movie 300. Unfortunately, hampered by a microphone malfunction and a teetering helmet, the effect was lost on most. Somewhere in the world, Gerard Butler was having a good laugh while King Leonidas must’ve been turning in his grave.

Ottawa drew first blood on a goal by Nick Foligno early in the second period, giving the Senators the lead for the first time in this series. That goal did more to spark the Scotia Bank Place than the pre-game debacle a la ‘Cirque de So-lame’. 

 Maxime Talbot’s goal tied things up minutes later but the tide would turn in the third and a Tsunami by the name of Crosby gave the Pens the go-ahead marker.

The raucous buzz in the building was suddenly replaced by a wave of nervous nausea. Before the fans had a chance to sip their beer and digest that goal, Jordan Staal crashed the net, tipping one past Martin Gerber, making it 3-1. Scotia Bank Place was put on ‘suicide watch’ as the crowd sank into a deeper funk.

Panic was setting in on the Ottawa bench, as Brian Murray’s face was twitching more than a short-circuited Disney animatronics’. All was not looking good in our nation’s capitol.

Marian Hossa sealed the comeback for the Pens, with a power play goal late in the third, ending the game at 4-1. Pittsburgh now has a 3-0 series lead after last night's victory.

Many of the Ottawa fans attended the game in full warrior regalia but went home dragging their plastic swords and shields behind them.

Maybe it was dress-up night at Scotia Bank Place last night. Certainly the twenty odd men masquerading as Ottawa Senator players on the ice looked nothing like the team that held first place in their division, way back in the season.

 So what’s next in Ottawa’s bag of tricks? Can they mount a comeback or will the Penguins go in for the kill, seeking revenge for last year’s elimination?

I for one hope they leave the showbiz to the pros, like Hollywood, and focus instead on what they used to be good at, hard playing hockey.

Last night someone dined in hell, but the main course wasn’t fried Penguin.