The Day Roger Federer Became a Kittycat

RockCorrespondent IFebruary 3, 2009

It was a day that would be more remembered as Roger Federer who turned into a kitty cat than Rafa getting the credit for his hard court Grand slam title. For the retarded, Rafa won his first Australian Open title this year and he has now a collection of six Grand slams at 22 years.

There are die hard Roger fans who would ramble mindlessly over Roger's extremely low first serve percentage which was the key for the meek surrender by Roger in the fifth set. But they don't give credit that it was Rafa with presence both in Roger's mind and on the court had forced those statistics.

Rafa played tough in the finals for over four and half hours with nerves made of steel and mind of non diminishing grit. He played a gruelling five hour 14 minute match, the longest in AO history, to register a win over his fellow Spaniard Fernando Verdasco in the Semi finals.

Stepping into the finals everybody expected Rafa to be tired and some even thought it won't last long more than four sets. Rod Laver, John McEnroe, Pat Cash and yours truly (this is a chance to put my name alongside the greats) predicted Roger to win easily.

The moment match went into the fifth set I gave up my hope of Rafa's chance for a win. I was pretty sure that he cannot turn around this time and started browsing the web. To everyone's dismay Rafa won convincingly in the decider with some help from Federer who cannot kill the demons inside his cranium.

A Rafa lightening struck Roger sometime after trailing Rafa 1-2 on serve in the 5th and then he suddenly started shanking his forehands and putting in uncharacteristic double faults. Nadal seized the set in no time and the finals was over without a dramatic finish unlike their last meeting at SW19.

Roger was asked first to receive the plate. He started confidently by saying, "Hey guys." The crowd roared and clapped. "Thanks for the support," he said. The crowd admired and applauded in jubilation.

He then did the unthinkable. He put his head down, the crowd cheering, took a deep breathe and said, "God, it's killing me." No one knows what 'it' he was referring to. But everybody knew that precise moment that he was heartbroken. The guy was sobbing like no loser has ever done on the podium.

The tears of sorrow were gushing like water from Niagara falls. He was wailing. Everyone including the dignitaries on the podium were dumbstruck. Rafa din't expect this kind of reception for his first hard fought hard court slam victory and obviously his celebrations were muted.

Rafa as usual, started his victory speech on the stage by saying sorry. The crowd din't like the apology for his hard earned title. They were almost anticipating that Rafa would be apologizing for the victory. It was evident the way they laughed after hearing it, instead of applauding it.

No body knows why on earth he apologises Roger. Some say Rafa is humble. Some nut heads argue is he humble enough to hand him the French Open title if they meet in the finals again?

The finals are now being remembered as the day Roger cried like a kid. He was unstoppable. It's as if Roger "The Mighty" Federer was literally begging Rafa by saying,

"Can you please get the hell out of my way till I achieve the coveted No. 14 and No. 15 slams. I do not know what else to do to counter your bloody top spin forehand to my backhand. You were running me ragged and I am feeling ashamed that I cannot cope that.

"I am the most talented player that ever since tennis has been introduced and you have been tormenting since you were 18. I am even afraid that you would take the GOAT status by winning slams on all four different surfaces. You've already won the Olympic Gold to add to my misery.

"Your game is not even half as good as mine and yet you were able to achieve the same reputation and stature as mine with lesser Grand slam titles punctuated with not even 50 weeks of No.1 ranking. 15 years down the lane when we both retire, people will be talking your name the moment somebody says Federer is the greatest ever. I can never digest that fact.

"I thought I could sweep all corners of the world with my game, glamour, dignity, smile, and grit. You have a fake smile and you can't even look straight into the eyes of the interviewer while talking.

"I thought we both had a mutual unspoken agreement that I won't take your French and you would not take my Wimbledon. You have violated it and are now taking my hard court titles as well. I would love to see you once struggling with your knees at my finals in the French Open '09.

"I am a Leo and love hogging the limelight. I know I have loads of ego but it was never so evident on the courts. People mistook it for my humbleness which has done me a huge favour for my global fame.

"I am even getting ridiculed by non tennis people like this stupid Rock who minces no words and loves to see me getting beaten. 13 - six is our head to head in favour of Rafa and I still do not know how much more he wishes me to lose.

"How I wish to see this writer cry after taking a dig on his weakness for programming? What more should I do to please the small minority of tennis fans who are not mine ?

"I would not have bothered if you had all the shots in the book like I do. You have a ugly double handed backhand with some sort of serve that doesn't justify your muscle. You started hitting the ball really hard of late and tennis is not to be played that way.

"You are still developing your game where as I was almost perfect when I was your age. You are hitting me now below the belt and I am unable to withstand those blows.

"You don't even have fans crying for you after your marathon loss. I have ladies, gents, and gays weeping all alike for my loss.

"I am such a tennis phenomenon which the world hasn't seen ever before and will never ever see after my retirement, and that is why the mere thought I lost to some rusty lefty from Spain, is killing me!"