When Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow picks up his mail in the morning, it's probably a story somewhere. So when Tebow is spotted with Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Edition cover girl Kate Upton, the reported squeeze of Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez, then it's really a story.
Obviously, we're playing it fast and loose with the word "story" here. It's more like epic gossip fodder with enough star power to collectively break the Internet. Whatever, though—that's just semantics.
The story here is that there really isn't a story—just a photo—and all it does is raise questions. We can only speculate what that photo may or may not mean for these two attractive young people with varying degrees of talent. The questions being:
Q: What is Tim Tebow doing at the Oscars?
A: No idea. Like Jeremy Lin, Tebow has done a fairly good job staying out of the spotlight and giving the impression that he's above the madness that surrounds him. But now he's at the Oscars, he's signed with the William Morris Endeavor agency and he's deflecting rumors that he's dating divorcees like Katy Perry and Kim Kardashian. What's with the change in PR strategy?
Q: What is Kate Upton doing at the Oscars?
A: She's a bikini model with ample assets. No big mystery there.
Q: Are Kate Upton and Mark Sanchez really an item?
A: Most "coupling" rumors aren't given much credence, but the Upton/Sanchez relationship has seemed more plausible and the stories have seemed more credible than most. That being said, it's been four months and they've yet to be spotted together—perhaps it's because there's nothing to spot?
Q: How much of the evening did Tebow and Upton spend together after posing for this photo?
Do YOU think Tim Tebow & Kate Upton are an item?
A: Someone in Hollywood knows the answer, and if it was more than a photo-op, the details will eventually emerge.
Q: Is there even a teensy-tiny chance these two are an item?
A: Absolutely not. Yes, it would be amazing, but there is absolutely no chance. Sorry!
And that's where we are right now!
To summarize: Tim Tebow and Kate Upton both attended the Vanity Fair Oscar party, they were photographed together and they may or may not have spent additional time together before or after the party.
Surely you'll sleep better tonight having all of the non-details of this non-story—I know I will.