WWE's Top 5 Inanimate Object Characters

James DoubleUAnalyst IFebruary 24, 2012

WWE's Top 5 Inanimate Object Characters

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    WWE was once a crazy, crazy place.

    Various wrestlers and tag teams became synonymous with particular weapons:

    Chairs, ladders, tables, kendo sticks, shopping carts full of garbage...

    Also, several performers had the ingenious gimmick of being mentally damaged.

    In an effort to be noticed, with all the good stuff taken, that led to some very interesting decisions, as grapplers took odd weapons and began humanizing them, imbuing character into them, at times making the object more popular than the wrestlers themselves.


    Today we take a look at the top 5 such items from the past 15 years in the WWE. (I had to make it that long to get enough!)


    Honorable Mention:

    Lil' Jimmy is disqualified because he's not inanimate, he's intangible.

Moppy 2 Hotty

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    Name: Moppy 2 Hotty

    Composition: Broom

    Superstar: Perry Saturn, Scotty 2 Hotty

    I feel inadequate including this slide, not because I feel it's undeserving, but because I couldn't find video or pics of it on the Internet, just a couple of mentions in old forums.

    But I remember it well!

    This little item had a complicated genesis and but a short shelf life (if I'm right, it was only used one day). Perry Saturn had been separated from Moppy (more on this later), and had a tag match with a solo Scotty 2 Hotty on that night's Heat.

    Scotty knew Saturn was distraught and wouldn't be a good partner, so he presented his woebegone would-be partner with a gift: a broom he called Moppy 2 Hotty!

    An overjoyed Saturn thanked him, saying, "Worms are good dancers because they're all slimy."

    For those interested, this prop was a short-bristled mop, with a visor, sunglasses, and painted-on mustache added such that the bristles were the hair, to match Scotty's spiked 'do.

    It was really a pretty good approximation.


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    Name: The Cobra

    Superstar: Santino Marella

    Composition: Lycra

    This one should be familiar to everyone.

    What was once just a ridiculous finisher (still not as ridiculous as yours, Scotty) became oh so much more in late July of last year.

    Santino added a colorful snake sleeve to add an extra intimidation factor to his attack (I mean, to sell merch).

    This past week we saw the potential of a new dimension for the Cobra. Who knows what's in store?


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    Name: Moppy

    Superstar: Perry Saturn

    Composition: Mop

    Now here's a strange beginning: Saturn got angry with a jobber named Mike Bell who botched in a match they were having, and went after him.

    Soon after, he was put in matches against the APA and Raven that led to kayfabe brain trauma leading to a drastic personality shift.

    Saturn became quiet and friendly, said "you're welcome" randomly, and eventually fell in love with a mop that he named Moppy and carried with him everywhere, even taking "her" to the ring.

    While this was probably intended as punishment, fans loved the new character turn and Moppy, and Saturn became quite popular.

    Eventually Raven would feed Moppy into a wood chipper, crushing Perry's spirits.

    Saturn would be rejuvenated with the appearance of Moppy 2 Hotty, but would soon after move on from that chapter in his career.

Mr. Socko

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    Name: Mr. Socko

    Superstar: Mankind, Mick Foley

    Composition: Sock

    Ah, the classic. Intended as a one-off joke while Mankind was trying to cheer up a convalescent Mr. McMahon, the simple prop somehow took hold, and Foley began using the sock in his matches, letting the footwear dress up his finisher, the Mandible Claw.

    Jerry Lawler would go on about how nasty and vile the sock was, adding an element of revulsion to what was already supposed to be a painful maneuver.

    And thus, a legend was born.

    Mr. Socko returned to the ring at the Royal Rumble, when it clashed with Santino's Cobra.


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    Name: Head

    Superstar: Al Snow

    Composition: Mannequin head

    Snow developed the idea for Head while at ECW. He was reading about abnormal psychology and found an abandoned mannequin head near ECW Arena.

    This became another case of a demented performer using an item as a focus/partner. With "Help Me" written backwards on the mannequin's forehead.

    Snow would carry it around, use it as a weapon, even having it as his tag-team partner and one-time opponent.

    Yes, Al Snow had a hardcore match against Head.


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    So, what do you think?

    Are these props awesome, hilarious, or stupid?

    Which is the best?

    What's your favorite memory of these objects?