10 Ways for Baseball Fans to Deal with the 'Dark' Part of the Offseason

Well, everyone not named after a certain '80s rocker who plays phallic guitars amidst purple smoke has been snatched up by some team somewhere.

Albert Pujols and C.J. Wilson (pictured) are lounging on the West beach and Hanley Ramirez and Mark Buehrle are enjoying a cold one in the East. Carlos Beltran pulls on Cardinal red and Gio Gonzalez suddenly makes D.C. legit. 

But really...until some interesting news breaks regarding Prince Fielder, what is there to look forward to for baseball-obsessed fans such as yourself?

I've come up with 10 ways you can cure the boredom of not having home runs, strikeouts and stolen bases plastering your television set all day. 

1. Watch the NBA

We can’t hold the grudge forever. The lockout was nasty, it was embarrassing and it really hurt the league’s reputation. Sort of like a sloppy night at the bars. But, we finally have the NBA back, and if day one was any indication, it’s going to be another fantastic season.

The feud between the owners and players may have been kind of like two kids in the backseat fighting over where the invisible dividing line is on a road trip, but it’s one of those instances where fans just have to suck it up and let it go.

Because we have basketball now. We have LeBron, we have Kobe and we have the Lob City Clip Show. For writers, this is heaven; storylines up the yang and a breath of fresh air in a season we figured would be filled with hockey rinks and crappy bowl games.

So give the NBA a chance. It’s all we got. Don’t let your personal vendetta against David Stern hold you back from enjoying some of the most athletic humans in the world spin and dunk and drain three’s from distance.

It ain’t baseball, but it will have to suffice for now.

2. Watch the NHL

It’s soccer on ice, which is why it’s actually cooler than you think. Hockey is Canada’s sport and by far the least popular of the “major four” sports in America.

For those of you who can’t watch soccer because there’s not enough scoring, imagine a smaller field of play, more goals, and fights involving massive bearded men wielding all sorts of dangerous weapons.

Voila! Ice hockey.  But in all seriousness, it is a sport worth watching. You didn’t like wine when you first tried it (and if you say you did, you’re a freakin’ liar), but you still drink it. It’s entertaining and after a few bottles, you actually enjoy the taste.

Well, the NHL is the wine of American sports. It’s a little bitter and boring at first, but it grows on you. I promise. Just watch the San Jose Sharks play the Detroit Red Wings or the Pittsburgh Penguins vs. the Washington Capitals and tell me you didn’t have fun.

Besides, if you end up a hockey fan from the experience, you’ll have a new way to get your sports fix every winter.

3. College Sports

If you don’t like March Madness, kindly exit my article right now. Don’t let the browser hit you on the way out.

What better way to segue into the baseball season than filling out a bracket and taking two weeks off work to ensure you don’t miss a second of the most intense, entertaining sports tournament in America?

Plus, there’s a pretty interesting football National Championship to be played in January.

Whether you turn to the gridiron or conference play for college hoops, you’re guaranteed to get a show. The BCS did a good job (blasphemy!) of pairing a ton of exciting games that have absolutely no meaning.

So, if you can get past the monotony of watching football games with no stakes outside of Louisiana and Alabama, you can sit back and watch some high-flying offenses do their thing.

Stanford, Oregon, Oklahoma State and Wisconsin are all guaranteed to put up big numbers in their respective games. And while the Alabama vs. LSU rematch will put you to sleep, at least it really is the two best teams in the nation going tete-a-tete.

And on the court, Duke, North Carolina and Kentucky are all back in full force. Plus, it may be the last time we see the entire Big East clusterfreak emerge again. Which, in case you’ve been hibernating for the last decade, is by far the most entertaining group of teams in one sport.

For all you professional sports fans who want nothing to do with college, jump on the bandwagon. Once the NFL playoffs are over, what else will you do until Spring Training?

4. Write for Bleacher Report

This isn’t a shameless self-promotion. I’m not paid to write for Bleacher Report, I do it of my own accord. I love baseball, I love writing, and I love the unique combination of the two that B/R offers.

Where else can you finally put your own analysis down on paper and prove to the world that you actually do know more than Skip Bayless about sports? Anyone can apply to write here, and it’s a completely rewarding experience, even if you’re not a writer by trade.

Let me tell you, there is no better feeling than spending two hours researching, typing, editing and fact-checking an article, spilling your thoughts and ideas onto the keyboard and publishing it to such a prominent web space.

Millions of people will instantly have access to your work. And it’s even sweeter when someone comments and engages you in a spirited debate about the content of your work.

You already argue with your friends about why the Diamondbacks were a fluke, or why the Cubs will finally win it all in 2012, or why Albert Pujols is baseball’s version of LeBron James.

Now you can apply to write for Bleacher Report and expand that dialogue to tons of passionate sports fans all over the web.

5. Get Rid of Bud Selig

Comment on this article if you hate Bud Selig! Okay, that was shameless self-promotion. I like comments. They make me feel special. And since I already know every baseball fan despises the Commissioner, it’s an easy ego-boost.

Selig lost all my respect when he allowed the 2002 All-Star Game to end in a tie. That is straight up baseball idiocy. But if you’re really bored and have no interest in the NBA, NHL or college sports, you can at least think of several ways to oust Selig.

Whether that be forging a naked text message from him to Jamie McCourt or turning up a positive PED test in his name, there are endless opportunities for freeing baseball from Selig.

I digress. Selig isn’t necessarily the monster I make him out to be. But he’s certainly not a good Commissioner.

And again, while there is nothing else going on in the baseball world, why not brainstorm multiple ways to make sure the fans never have to deal with his shenanigans again?

6. Debate Ryan Braun

This strategy will last a lot longer than the offseason. Guilty or innocent, Braun will forever be linked to a select group of players who instantly lost legions of fans because of a lab test and a journalist with a Twitter.

Even if Braun is proven innocent of enhancing his performance in 2011, there will be skeptics going with him to the grave. Which is too bad, considering the All-American, nice guy thing he had going for him.

But if you’re going to refuse my suggestions of watching other sports, or actually putting your fiery debates on paper, then at least waste your time arguing the most newsworthy storyline of the entire offseason.

Did Braun take steroids? Who knows. But assuming he did for the purposes of argument, present your case in a fair and unbiased way. Make people believe why he should or should not be suspended, stripped of his MVP award or banned from Cooperstown consideration.

Whatever you do, make sure to not let the homer in you shine through, or the debate will just become a shouting match. 

For example, if I happened to be a huge Dodgers fan writing unbiased articles on this very website, I would never argue that Braun should personally deliver his trophy to the real MVP, Matt Kemp and beg for forgiveness at the feet of the strongest, fastest, most handsome player in the National League.

Never would I ever…

7. Watch MLB Network

If you don’t have this channel already, and didn’t ask Santa to bring it this year, well…shame on you. If you think NFL Red Zone is cool, try getting all that content and in-depth analysis for baseball.

MLB Network is by far the king of coverage and insight when it comes to America’s pastime. ESPN can’t touch it.

They hire former players and managers to do the analysis, and that provides for a legit in-depth look at the offseason that you really can’t get from people who have never been there.

Plus, they have cool offseason features, like network personalities taking part in a 10-round fantasy draft. It’s really addicting television.

And if you haven’t watched Intentional Talk with Kevin Millar and Chris Rose yet, you’re missing one of the smartest, funniest sports shows on all of television.

Do yourself a favor and order MLB Network today so you don’t ever have to miss news on your favorite sport.

8. Follow Winter Ball

Remember back in the day when you warmed up for your high school baseball season by playing a somewhat informal, 10-game fall or winter ball schedule?

Re-live that by following winter league games in Latin American countries or Arizona. A lot of good, young players will be partaking and it’s a really great way to get accustomed to your favorite team’s top prospects.

Not only is it entertaining, but they actually play some good ball too. Just recently, Yorvit Torrealba was caught on tape striking an umpire’s face mask with his hand after a strikeout.

So much for baseball being a boring, non-contact sport. But if you really want to shock everyone in your fantasy league next season, you’ll need that in-depth knowledge of all the sleepers who had big winters.

Trust me when I say that the research will pay off. I won my league last year because I drafted two guys who had big winter seasons in 2010. Ever heard of Dee Gordon or Javy Guerra?

9. Plan a Trip to Spring Training

When I was 16, my parents gave me a trip to Arizona for my birthday. No ordinary trip though. This was a three-night, four–day adventure to the A’s Spring Training.

It still stands out as one of the greatest gifts I have ever received. You can’t understand how incredible Spring Training is until you go and experience it for yourself.

If you think a regular game is fun to attend, imagine being up close and personal with all the players, getting autographs like nobody’s business, and watching a much more relaxed version of the regular season play out in the hot desert sun.

Every team has a Spring Training facility in either Arizona or Florida, so if you are near one of the states, it’s well worth a plane ticket out there. You can stay around the area for cheap and the games cost next to nothing to go to.

Spring Training is a rite of passage for every baseball fan; the dramatic moment when perfect baseball weather makes for that brand-new feeling of a brand-new season.

No preseason in sports is any more personal, entertaining and exciting than Spring Training. So get on it for Spring Break!

10. Play Ball!

Just because the real baseball season has cooled off, doesn’t mean your passion for the game has to.

Grab a buddy, two gloves and a ball and play some long toss in front of your house. Pursue the mastery of a wiffle curveball so next time there’s a pick-up game in your backyard, you’re fanning friends like Justin Verlander.

Don’t have any friends? Well, get a Facebook. But also find a brick wall. They won’t complain about throwing grounders back to you every time.

And for those of you in the unfortunate states buried in snow, there must be a batting cage nearby.

Go take a couple of hacks and do your best Miguel Cabrera impression (hold the liquor) until your hands are blistered and you can’t feel your legs anymore.

No matter what, there are ways to power through this dark, abysmal part of the offseason. Pick a few and stoke the baseball fire deep within, before it burns away.