Lionel Messi and Other World Football Stars as Famous Christmas Characters

Time for some festive fun. In this article I'm going to take some famous Christmas characters (some real, some not real), and compare them to personalities from the football world.

To the footballing icons, and the Christmas ones for that matter, I trust this little romp will be taken in the seasonal spirit and no offence taken.

To the readers, I'd love to hear your ideas for others in the comment thread below.

Happy Holidays!

Sepp Blatter as Bad Santa

You've got the best job in the world, delivering happiness and joy to millions and upholding the precious spirit of what you represent. So what do you do?

You act like a complete idiot, undermine the very institution you're supposed be championing and leave a bitter taste in the mouths of all those looking to you for inspiration.

At least Bad Santa was hilarious. Sepp Blatter is just laughable.

Sir Alex Ferguson as the Grinch

Sir Alex Ferguson is a great, great manager. Twelve Premier League titles and two Champions League wins speak for that, as does the remarkable longevity that's seen him occupy the Old Trafford dugout for a quarter of a century.

But the grand old man of Manchester United has always had a tendency to be grumpy.

He he is walking out of a press conference after United lost to Basel. He he is telling a reporter to "f**k off." And here he is getting annoyed at the suggestion David de Gea had been less than convincing against Benfica.

Messi, Xavi and Iniesta as the Three Kings

Barcelona's great triumvirate is footballing royalty these days. Andres Iniesta, Lionel Messi and Xavi deliver their rare gifts on a weekly basis, and have presided over one of the great footballing kingdoms of them all.

To fans of Barca, they're worth their weight in gold, frankincense and myrrh.

Arsene Wenger as Scrooge

Arsene Wenger is a fiscal conservative. He likes the books balanced at Arsenal and prides himself on the financial stability he's delivered the club over the years.

But the problem with holding back in the transfer market is that Arsenal have gradually slipped out of contention for the biggest prizes. As a result they've lost some of their biggest players, and find themselves without a trophy since 2005.

Is Wenger too stubborn? Too tight? Too idealistic? Will he ever change his ways?

Huge props to talkceltic.net for this marvellous piece of photoshopping.

Mario Balotelli as Santa Claus

Mario Balotelli is the gift that keeps on giving. The Premier League is his chimney, and he drops down once or twice a week to keep the footballing world entertained with a colourful array of fabulous presents to our amusement.

Consider the time he set his apartment on fire with a firework. Or when he spent an age trying get his bib on. Or when he gave a tramp £1,000 outside a casino. Or when he said he didn't like Manchester.

Give the man a red coat and a white beard. For a moment we thought he'd done the job himself, and it's to Balotelli's enormous credit that a story like this gets taken seriously.

Ray Wilkins as Elf

Ray Wilkins has become a cult of commentary. The former Manchester United and England midfielder delivers his insight with such overwhelming sincerity and kindness that you'd be forgiven for thinking he was talking to a small child.

There's a naivety in Wilkins' voice and in his observations that some people can't stand. Others, myself included, think he's absolutely brilliant. Here's a nice take on his most famous saying, "stay on your feet."

Wilkins is a pundit from a bygone age, bereft of the cynicism that marks the modern game, and earnest in the extreme. He is Will Ferrell's Elf in all but costume.

Fernando Torres as George Bailey in It's a Wonderful Life

Fernando Torres is down on his luck and a shadow of the man who once achieved great things. What he needs is an intervention. He needs a footballing angel to save his career.

The Torres tale is a watered-down version of that portrayed by James Stewart in It's a Wonderful Life.

George Bailey ultimately finds redemption. Will the same be said for El Nino?

Cristiano Ronaldo as Mariah Carey

Cristiano Ronaldo and Mariah Carey. Both huge stars with massive egos. One is a pouting prima donna with undoubted natural talent and a flair for exhibitionism. The other gave the world the ridiculously massive Christmas hit, All I Want for Christmas Is You.

The question is, who will shine brightest in 2012? My money's on CR7, but he needs a big Champions League and an even bigger Euro 2012 to outdo Carey's guaranteed success this time next holiday season.

Steve Kean as the Christmas Turkey

Blackburn Rovers manager Steve Kean is a Christmas turkey on death row. It's surely only a matter of time before the club's owners, who just happen to be in the chicken business, get on with the culling and serve him up to the club's success-starved fans.

Will it happen in time for Christmas? If Rovers lose to Bolton tonight you wouldn't be surprised, especially bearing in mind their next two games after that are away to Liverpool and Manchester United.

Rovers are second-bottom in the Premier League, and lost 2-1 at home to West Brom last time out.

Neymar as Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

OK, bear with me here.

Rudolph's red nose helped guide his fellow reindeer through the night. Neymar's undoubted talent could potentially do the same for football over the next decade or so.

Is he the brightest prospect in the game right now? Quite possibly, but only time, and a move to one of Europe's big clubs, will tell us for sure.