Justin's Weekly Brain Seepage: Championship Week

They grow up so fast...

Ever since my daughter’s arrived, I’ve been forced to lie to you in the title of this column. This isn’t the “Weekly” Brain Seepage. It’s more like the “Bi-weekly” Brain Seepage or the “Whenever I Have Time, I’ll Get to It” Brain Seepage.

In fact, even though she’s only five weeks old, she uttered her first words over the weekend. They were:

“You know father, in my own unofficial college football poll I jumped Texas over Oklahoma weeks ago. That’s the great thing about the poll, Dad. I can vote for whoever I want every week. If I saw a potential cluster-F (don’t worry she said “F”, not the whole word) coming in the Big 12 South (I think she means the Big XII, she’s young), I would’ve realized that any voter with a college football soul should vote in the team that won in a head to head battle over the team that tries to run up the score for style points every week. Don’t the pollsters take into account what’s happened over the whole season?”

“That’s what the computers are for, honey,” I replied.

“Oh right, but haven’t the powers that be limited what the computers say in favor of the humans?” she asked while making spit bubbles.

“That’s true, sweetheart,” I said.

“Then it’s up to the humans to do what’s right since they can’t control what the computers do?” she asked while fixating her gaze on a nearby lamp.

“Well, I guess so,” I said.

“Then all these people complaining about the BCS could’ve actually done something about it with their vote? They could have jumped Texas over Oklahoma if they felt that the Longhorns deserved to be in the conference title game,” she stated while soiling herself.

“I guess they could have,” I agreed.

“But that would counteract their agenda of wanting a playoff if everything works out, right? So maybe voters are voting for what would cause the most chaos in order to cause controversy. Entropy benefits their cause,” she said while crossing her eyes.

“Where did you learn all these words? Is this that Baby Einstein?” I asked.

“Oh daddy, come on, even a baby can see what’s going on here,” she said while starting to cry.

“It’s time to change you, isn’t it?” I asked.

“It’s time to change something,” she said poignantly.

Out of the mouths of babes.

After a clean diaper, I asked her, “What about Texas Tech?”

She just rolled her eyes at me (for the first of probably many times, if her mother is any indication).

Pretty advanced for a baby with underdeveloped neck muscles and little to no trunk control, eh?

Better than Shreveport...

An actual text I received from a buddy (and LSU fanatic) last night:

“If you told me during halftime of the Troy game that we’d eventually end up in the Chick-fil-A Bowl, I would have taken it in a heartbeat...”

Agreed. But the price of going to such a bowl after a disappointing season is facing Paul Johnson’s option attack in Atlanta. You need a disciplined defense to halt such an attack. Uh-oh.

Has a team ever rushed for 700 yards in a game?

The battle lines are drawn...it really just comes down to which coach you hate less...

Whether or not you agree with the matchup, it’s going to be a great game indeed. What’s the over/under going to be on this game? 100? 110? 120?

Alabama did one of the better jobs of shutting down Florida since they’ve been on their post-Ole Miss streak. The Gators still put up 31.

Oklahoma has been scoring on people like a game of Xbox. It’s been ridiculous.

The Big 12 (oops, my bad—I mean the Big XII) and the SEC have been on a collision course all season. We knew the best from each conference would end up in Miami.

But if Florida wins the game, fans of the Longhorns and much of the nation will wonder what if...

For me, the game comes down to one thing: defense. Actually, opposing defenses.

Florida and Tim Tebow have gone up against 10 defenses in the Top 50 this year. Ten! That’s insane, and what’s even more insane is that they won nine of them. Three of them were in the Top 11 (Alabama, South Carolina, and Tennessee).

Want to take a guess how many times Oklahoma has gone up against a Top 50 defense?

Once.

TCU was the only one.

Florida is No. 9 in total defense. Oklahoma is No. 65.

Sure, add in your Big 12 (oops, my bad—I meant Big XII) arguments here about the league being offensive, and on top of that, the SEC being a defensive league in order to say that the stats don’t matter.

And they don’t really, but Florida has seen what some of the best defenses in the land can do, and they still keep trucking. Just some food for thought.

Next to American Idol, it’s a pretty big award...

I don’t have a vote for the Heisman, and I hardly really get caught up in the race. Woodson beating Manning way back when kind of turned me off to this whole voting thing, but for what it’s worth (which is nothing), my votes are below. I’ll try to make it sound official by messing with their names to make them sound more official:

1) Timothy Tebow

(I’m just trying that on. I don’t think it flies. I think I’ll go back to “Tim” or “Tim-ahhh!!!”)

I dislike Florida, I really do, but I like Tim Tebow. I can’t help it. Dude’s a player.

2) Samuel Bradford

I kind of like Samuel in this instance. I think if you went up to a typical 13-year-old kid knows nothing of sports and asked him who Samuel Bradford was, they’d say, “Didn’t he lose to Abraham Lincoln or something?" I weep for the future.

Of course, if I knew nothing of sports and you asked me who he was, I’d probably say, “Wasn’t he one of Dick Van Patten’s kids on Eight is Enough?”

3) Colton McCoy

Like I stated earlier in the season, Colt McCoy is one sweet name. In fact, if there was a Heisman for names, he’d win every year. If I didn’t know anything about sports (I apparently like this premise, and I’m sure some of you think it’s not a premise as much as a fact), and you wanted to sell me a gun (which I also know nothing about), and you said you wanna buy a “Colt McCoy,” I’d be like hell yeah, I do!

Then I’d buy some chaps, spurs, and a cowboy hat because I don’t own those things—not even recreational versions of those things, if you know what I mean.

Then I’d saunter around my backyard and shoot anything that moves with my sweet Colt McCoy handgun.

Oh, and a duster. I’d need a duster.

What about Sam Winters...can I vote for him?

OK, while I’m in the voting spirit, I’m trying to decide my coach of the year ballots. I’m trying to come up with one reason why I shouldn’t have Nick Saban as No. 1...

I’m waiting...

Maybe Joe Pa.

Maybe.

But Joe Pa’s unlikely season was derailed by Iowa. Saban’s perfect run was ended by a Heisman winner and the best team in the SEC (and maybe the country). Even the game itself was a testament to Saban’s coaching since most predicted the Gators would win big, and for most of the game, the Gators played Bama’s style of football.

Pete Carroll, Bob Stoops, Mack Brown, Urban Meyer, Gary Patterson, Chris Petersen, Brian Kelly, Mike Leach, Paul Johnson (who should take “coach at a new school” honors), Brady Hoke, Skip Holtz?

Nah, I gotta do what I gotta do. Bama was a year or so away. Saban made it happen early.

1) Nick Saban

2) Joe Paterno

3) Mike Leach

Honorable Mention: Paul Johnson

Maybe you can convince me otherwise.

Duck Duck Duck...Goose!!!

Oregon State. Tsk Tsk Tsk. I was pulling for you guys against the Ducks (and I like me some Ducks), and all you had to do was win and go to the Rose Bowl. The ROSE BOWL!

Mike Bellotti’s bunch put a whipping on the Beavers and knocked them all the way back to the Sun Bowl.

Now the Ducks get to go to sunny San Diego for the Holiday Bowl against the Oklahoma State Pokes, and the Beavers head to El Paso to take on Pittsburgh.

No offense to El Paso, but I’m thinking San Diego would’ve been the better trip. Beavers win the “biggest fall” award. The good news...”Da Quizz” is only a freshman.

Don’t you hate it when...?

I think we’re pretty much all agreed that there’s not many things worse than someone talking about their fantasy football league/team, especially if you’re not in the league with them. In spite of this, I’m going to do it right here.

At one point, I was 2-5 in my head to head league and looking forward to next season’s draft. Last year ended in heartbreak as I missed the four-team playoff by a tiebreaker in the final week. But then after the 2-5 start, the Colts started winning, so Peyton’s stats got better.

Michael Turner has been stellar all year, and my most problem spot all year (second running back) was filled in nicely by Chester Taylor in the past weeks. My WR combo of Andre and Calvin Johnson, along with Lee Evans, has also been solid, and the Ravens' D (thank you Ed Reed) is always consistent.

I won six of my last seven games, including taking down the league leader in the final week of the regular season. After the Saints and LSU this season, I was in need of some football karma.

So watch out for the Deep Snappers in the playoffs. Peyton has the Lions this weekend. The rest of the league is on notice—the Snap Attack is back.

Did I lose every single reader I had in this section? Probably so—it’s time to wrap up.

“The most wonderful time of the year...”

Coming soon for the fifth year now and first time on Bleacher Report, The Annual JWBS Bowl Picks Extravaganzpalooz-spectacularrrrrr!!!

After being undefeated for the first three years, I picked against my wife last year, and she beat me by a game. In order to avenge my loss to the fairer sex, I took on Bleacher Report’s Lisa Horne in her weekly picks one week.

I got destroyed. Badly. I’m still a bit sore from the beating I took. I get recurring headaches now, and my jaw clicks when I open my mouth too far.

But to put all that behind me and prove last year was a fluke, I’m taking on the wife again because she wants to defend her title, and she’d like something to do while on maternity leave.

My wife brings the insight of a person that watched only five hours of football this entire season.

She’s been pretty hard to live with over the past year, as I’ve heard such trash talk as:

“Are we going to do that bowl thingy again this year? I won last year, right? Or was it the year before? I don’t remember. How did I win?”

Boy, she’s just relentless, I tell ya.

See you next week.

Go Tigers!!!