NFL Power Rankings Week 6: TV Show Edition

With five weeks in the books, the 2011 NFL season is shaping up to be one of the most surprising and exciting seasons in league history.

Here in the United States, there are few topics that are so universally discussed as NFL football—except for television. Coincidentally, just as the NFL season gets underway, so does the Fall TV season, full of hot, new shows that provide the other half of water-cooler discussion that does not involve football.

In honor of America's two favorite pastimes—television and football—this edition of Week 6 Power Rankings combines both, using TV shows to help to describe the success, or lack thereof, of each team.

1) Green Bay Packers (5-0)

The Packers have been as dominant as ever this season.

With a cast of characters like Aaron Rodgers, Greg Jennings and Clay Matthews, this team is as fun as any to watch—much like the cast of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Mac, Charlie, Dennis, Dee and Frank are relentlessly funny—the Packers are just relentless.

2) New England Patriots (4-1)

The Patriots are at it again. Despite some holes on defense, this team is a favorite week after week behind Tom Brady, Wes Welker and the two-headed TE tandem of Aaron Hernandez and Rob Gronkowski.

Their consistency is the football equivalent of Modern Family, a show that rarely misses the mark.

3) Detroit Lions (5-0)

It makes absolutely no sense that Jersey Shore became as popular as it is, just like it makes no sense that Detroit Lions are as good as they are.

Jersey Shore has one sensible individual in the cast (Vinny). The Lions have one universally accepted superstar on each side of the ball (Calvin Johnson and Ndamukong Suh).  

Jersey Shore is guaranteed to make you cringe episode after episode, but in the end you can't turn away, and the cast are millionaires. The Lions will also make you cringe (stumbled to a 24-point deficit in Dallas a week after overcoming a 20-point deficit in Minnesota), but in the end they may just be the most exciting team in the NFL, and the team is undefeated.

4) New Orleans Saints (4-1)

Winning has become old hat in New Orleans. The team that captured America's hearts and became the talk of the NFL in the wake of Hurricane Katrina has quietly worked their way to a 4-1 record by simply getting the job done.

It seems this team has taken a cue from their Bayou brethren on the History Channel's Swamp People.

 Drew Brees and Co. have dropped the flashiness of yesteryear and taken a workman-like attitude in staring down daunting challenge after daunting challenge with the same calm, self-assured demeanor that the Swamp People display while hunting large alligators with little more than rope and a rifle.

5) San Francisco 49ers (4-1)

Jim Harbaugh came to San Francisco with a lot of fanfare, but the results thus far have outpaced expectations.

Despite not having a quarterback, San Francisco has thrived by playing excellent defense and pounding the ball with Frank Gore, a welcome sight to football purists decrying the sports transition toward a passing (read: finesse) league.

Terra Nova, in its first season on Fox, was also trumpeted since its development was made public, and the show's premise is equally as tried and true—humans vs. dinosaurs.

6) Buffalo Bills (4-1)

30 Rock is one of the best shows on television today, mostly because an incredibly mismatched cast of characters is brought together brilliantly by a well-written script that manages to allow each individual to shine in their own way.

The Buffalo Bills' season has played out much like an episode of 30 Rock. Mismatched characters like Ryan Fitzpatrick, Stevie Johnson, and Fred Jackson have managed to come together to create a suddenly unstoppable offense that has managed to win high-scoring game after high-scoring game for the Bills.

7) San Diego Chargers (4-1)

The Chargers are 4-1, but hardly anyone knows it, because they haven't beaten anyone of note. Wins against Minnesota, Kansas city, Denver, and Miami mean little in the grand scheme of things, because those teams have just four wins between them.

While Philip Rivers and company may be a contender come January, few have actually seen them play, given their weak opponents.

Hell on Wheels looks like it could be an awesome show, but it's on AMC, and who has AMC on their favorite channel list? Having said that, when it's all said and done, San Diego, like Hell on Wheels, might be a team you have to go out of your way to watch.

8) Baltimore Ravens (3-1)

When Simon Cowell left American Idol, you got the sense he figured the show would simply die without his trademark snark shooting down the dreams of terrible singers from coast-to-coast.

When it didn't, he simply spent a lot of money to recreate basically the same show under a different name, The X Factor. The 2011 Ravens are trying to pull the same trick on the public that The X Factor is.

With new names like Lee Evans and Torrey Smith in the fold, the Ravens have looked much like the Ravens of last year—or the year before that, or the year before that. Thriving on defense and a steady dose of Ray Rice, the Ravens are simply the same show in a slightly different dress.

9) Pittsburgh Steelers (3-2)

Ever get stuck watching a Law & Order marathon? While you know exactly how the show is going to go (crime, investigation, twist, trial, end scene), you simply can't turn it off.

This describes the Steelers perfectly. Nothing has really changed in Pittsburgh, and it likely never will. Smash-mouth football, defense, wins—it has been the same story in Pittsburgh for years, and this year is no different.

10) Houston Texans (3-2)

When Charlie Sheen was forced off of Two and a Half Men, it was obvious that big changes were coming and, despite the show's creators' insistence that the show would go on, one had to wonder how it would survive.

While Ashton Kutcher has admittedly been a solid replacement, the show isn't the same. When Andre Johnson went out with a knee injury, Texans fans saw that their team has the same fragility as the show.

Fortunately for Texans fans—and unlike Charlie Sheen—Andre Johnson will be back soon.

11) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-2)
12) Atlanta Falcons (2-3)
13) Washington Redskins (3-1)
14) Tennessee Titans (3-2)
15) Oakland Raiders (3-2)

These five teams have all had some early-season success, but all five have also shown weaknesses that lead fans to question just how long the good times will last.

The Bucs lost big to San Francisco in Week 5, the Falcons have already matched their loss total from all of last season, the Redskins are the worst first-place team in the NFL, the Titans are coming off a shellacking at the hands of the Steelers and the Raiders have Jason Campbell at quarterback.

Free Agents was based on a smash-hit British sitcom and came to the US to critical acclaim.  

Free Agents was cancelled by NBC after just four episodes aired. These five teams may have opened the season successfully, but it would seem that they all have hurdles much too large to overcome.

16) NY Jets (2-3)
17) NY Giants (3-2)
18) Dallas Cowboys (2-2)
19) Cincinnati Bengals (3-2)
20) Chicago Bears (2-3)
21) Philadelphia Eagles (1-4)

For the six teams above, 2011 has been anything but happy. For the Jets, Rex Ryan's Super Bowl guarantee is nothing but a memory, as the defense has been unable to hide Mark Sanchez's deficiencies through five weeks of football.

The Giants' injury list grows by the minute and is large enough to be mistaken for an entire separate team.

Tony Romo's ribs certainly would like to hit the reset button on the season in Dallas.

The Bengals have had to deal with their star quarterback, Carson Palmer, choosing to retire rather than continue to play for his team.

Jay Cutler has been sacked so many times that ESPN recently held a poll that asked who is more courageous—Cutler for surviving so many hits, or Romo for playing through broken ribs?

As for the Eagles, their defense has been horrid. Thus far, 2011 has been an American Horror Story for these six teams.  

22) Seattle Seahawks (2-3)
23) Cleveland Browns (2-2)
24) Kansas City Chiefs (2-3)
25) Carolina Panthers (1-4)
26) Arizona Cardinals (1-4)
27) Minnesota Vikings (1-4)
28) Denver Broncos (1-4)
29) St Louis Rams (0-4)
30) Jacksonville Jaguars (1-4)
31) Indianapolis Colts (0-5)
32) Miami Dolphins (0-4)

Finally, it's time to introduce the 10 contestants in the Andrew Luck Sweepstakes. Just like Survivor, these teams will try to outlast one another—except here, the winner will be the most inept, least productive, worst team standing.

There is always next year.