Daily Radar: Hottest Stories for Tuesday, October 11

Gabe ZaldivarOct 11, 2011

The NBA has canceled a fortnight of action, Jay Cutler is a punching bag and Nelson Cruz is a bad, bad man.

This is the Daily Radar, the most important thing you will read in your life, or at least for the next 10 minutes.

You want a story higher on the rankings? Well, leave a comment. And be sure to check back all day as we add hot stories, re-rank them and deliver it all in an easy to digest portion.

TOP NEWS

Bleacher Report1w

Bleacher Report1w

With Jayson Tatum sidelined, Celtics' fourth-quarter comeback falls short in Game 7 loss to 76ers

Bleacher Report1w

Let's Dish.

1. TERRELL OWENS OVERDOSE ADDS TO STRANGE AND MYSTERIOUS SAGA

We have seen him workout in his driveway to the amazement of reporters. He has pulled an April Fool's prank in October. Now T.O. is alleged to have overdosed last week, and he is silent for the first time in this history of his career.

Question on Everybody's Mind: Wait, what? What exactly happened?

Our Take: T.O. is denying that he took 35 Vicodin pills. However, he is not saying whether he took 34, or 33. Hell, 4 pills would put me into a nice coma for the night.

Hype Meter: 5-out-5 AARP Retirement Cards

Owens latest turn for the worst has to raise another warning sign to any team that is desperate for a wide receiver. In fact, I would rather pick up LeBron James over T.O. at this point. Speaking of...

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2. LEBRON JAMES WANTS TO GET BOOED IN NFL STADIUMS NOW

LeBron James' ego became inflated with the thought that he could work part time during the lockout. By playing in the NFL.

Question on Everybody's Mind: Isn't the NFL, like, hard to play in?

Our Take: Nothing is too difficult if you are LeBron James. His mere presence on the field would take any team to the Super Bowl. Of course they would lose the title game and James would get booed. Somewhere Dirk Nowitzki would somehow enjoy a rise in popularity.

Hype Meter: 5-out-5 Receding Hairlines

I am seriously giddy right now. I thought the lockout would preclude us from talking about the tragic figure that is Bron Bron. Well, it seems he will bring the news right to our doorstep like a milkman of marvelous fodder. As Mr. Burns would say, "Excellent."

Award for Most Brilliant Tweet of the Day:

I am sure that James could afford one of these Internet machines we use to find information like free agency deadlines. This was to stroke that massive ego, and to make me happy. Gracias, Senor James.

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3. DENVER BRONCOS TRADE AWFUL QB FOR UNPROVEN ONE

The stars came into alignment, a light shone down on earth and for a moment all was right. At least, that is how most Broncos fans feel as Tim Tebow, the famous backup quarterback, gets the starting job.

Question on Everybody's Mind: How will the Broncos do with Tebow at the helm?

Our Take: It doesn't matter. This is like Van Halen switching lead singers or The Fresh Prince of Bel Air changing moms. The team will continue to hit on all cylinders. Only, for the Broncos that means they will continue to be horrible. At least they have Tebow to show the way now.

Hype Meter: 4-out-5 TEBOW, TEBOW, TEBOW

There has never been a back-up player with more hype surrounding him. The only way he lives up to it is if he walks onto the field and throws his first touchdown pass to himself. On the way to the end zone he will solve the poverty issue. Otherwise, he is a letdown.

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4. NBA CANCELS LA CLIPPERS' LOSSES FOR TWO WEEKS

David Stern and his BFF owners didn't like what they heard on Monday, so they have taken all the NBA balls and gone home.

Question on Everybody's Mind: Will we see any NBA action this year?

Our Take: The same owners that paid Darko Milicic and Elton Brand more than minimum wage are crying poor. Unless they convince billionaires money isn't everything, we will be without pro hoops for months. Sacramento Kings fans can rejoice.

Hype Meter: 4-out-5 David Stern Bobble Heads

This is huge. If Stern and his cronies thought there was hope, games would have been postponed, not cancelled. I am seriously scared that this winter will be heavy on the BYU and Gonzaga B-ball games.

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5. JAY CUTLER SPENDS GAME ON TURF

Jay Cutler spent a great deal of Monday night getting acquainted with the Lions pass rush and the Ford Field turf. They very nearly brought the chalk outline guys out to make sure the scene was dusted for evidence.

Question on Everybody's Mind: Are the Bears still contenders?

Our Take: When you make Jahvid Best look like Barry Sanders, you have issues.

Hype Meter: 3-out-5 Sacks, Hits and Blunders

The Bears resembled Jessica Spano when she was addicted to sleeping pills. Everything was coming down around them, their lives were shattered and there was no hope in sight. It was more disturbing to watch than an episode of Intervention. Where is Zack Morris when you need him?

I Could See that Happening Tweet of the Night:

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6. NELSON CRUZ MAKES MAKING HISTORY LOOK EASY

If you are a Detroit Tigers pitcher, you may want to avoid pitching to Nelson Cruz. This guy went Roy Hobbs on Monday night as he launched the first ever grand slam walk-off in postseason history.

Question on Everybody's Mind: Are the Tigers done?

Our Take: Down 2-0, the Tigers have hope, but it's currently at the door with its keys and purse threatening to storm out the door. Go get her Tigers. Go get hope back.

Hype Meter: 3-out-5 Delightful Dingers

The Rangers are so hot right now. If you need a comparison, it would be like the New York Knights when Roy Hobbs stopped dating Kim Basinger and started diddling Glenn Close. At least, I think those were their names in The Natural.

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7. STEPHEN GARCIA IS NOW FREE TO DRINK AND SMOKE

South Carolina Gamecocks quarterback Stephen Garcia has been dismissed for the last time. Well, this should help his social life.

Question on Everybody's Mind: What went wrong?

Our Take: The school has been mum on the reasons for Garcia's dismissal, but ESPN's Jenn Brown go the skinny like the great reporter she is. Here is the all-telling tweet.

Hype Meter: 2-out-5 Burnt Out Blunts

I find it hard to care about an athlete who threw his career away on drugs and alcohol. Doesn't he realize that with a little more work, he would have received even more drugs and alcohol in the pros?

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8. BEYONCE OWNS ONE INTERESTING TUMMY

Beyonce is being called out by a public that has nothing better to do but drum up outlandish conspiracies.

Question on Everybody's Mind: Is Beyonce faking her pregnancy?

Our Take: No, Jay-Z and Beyonce did not sit down and discuss the oddest way to kill both of their careers at the same time. They have better things to do, like create jams for me to shake my booty to.

Hype Meter: 2-out-5 Have We all Lost Our Minds?

The speculation rests on Beyonce who was on Australia's Sunday Night HD. As you can see from the photo, her stomach changes shape. You know? Like a stomach is supposed to do.

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9. KIM KARDASHIAN WEDDING ENDS, WORLD CONTINUES SPINNING

Monday was the finale of the two-part, four-hour special featuring Kim Kardashian's fairy-tale wedding to Kris Humphries. I will now spend the rest of my life trying to make up for writing that last sentence. I fear I do not have the fortitude to make it.

Question on Everybody's Mind: Who the hell watches four hours of this stuff?

Our Take: The same type of people that line up at midnight for a showing of Harry Potter, know the VORP of every shortstop in the majors and own Magic the Gathering cards. I am talking nerds, people. They just have different nerdy interests.

Hype Meter: 2-out-5 Thank God That's Overs

Now we can all go back to living our lives. At least until one of the Kardashians gets divorced, has a birthday or gets a cold. At that point, we will all be put into a tailspin once again.

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10. TCU GETS DOWN WITH THE BIG 12

TCU have had their eye on joining a hot conference that would otherwise be way above their heads. The Big 12 is that hot girl at the bar that is far too worse for wear to have any amount of standards at the moment.

Question on Everybody's Mind: Is the Big 12 saved?

Our Take: TCU would have never had a chance to get with a hot conference like the Big 12. However, the Big 12 has been drinking a lot, lost it's job and all it's friends. So a mediocre program like TCU looks like a 10.

Hype Meter: 1-out-5 Crumbling Conferences

The Big 12 still hasn't answered the elephant in the room which is Texas. Not only is it an elephant, but it's a loud-mouthed drunk elephant that demands everyone hear its exaggerated tales of self-worth. Stupid elephants.

That Would be Hilarious Tweet of the Night:

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11. HOPE SOLO IS HOT IN HER FOXTROT

Hope Solo is the best thing to happen to sports since Brett Favre officially retired. On Monday, something was amiss as she danced her Foxtrot.

Question on Everybody's Mind: Wait, wasn't she naked or something?

Our Take: Yes, yes. But this is dancing, a far superior expression of one's self and a depiction of...hey, where are you going?

Hype Meter: 0-out-5 Eh, Blah, and Yawns

You can't expect the nation to care after you go nude. This is the single biggest reason that Sharon Stone's career took a dive after Basic Instinct.

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Until tomorrow, a little excitement never hurt anyone. Well, except for Jessica Spano.