The Coolest Old Dudes in Sports Today

First rule of being a cool old dude in sports—you aren't really a cool old dude until you've hit 70 (well, with two justifiable exceptions on this list.)

Second rule of being a cool old dude in sports—you have to be active as either an athlete, a coach or a member of the media.

Third rule of being a cool old dude in sports—you don't talk about Fight Club.

Now let's get our geezer on.

Honorable Mention: Old Hoss Radbourn

Age: 156

Not only is this guy miraculously still living, but he also has the wherewithal to maintain a Twitter account. His documentation of life in the 19th Century in 140 characters or less is pure poetry. Here are a few of his recent tweets:

"

If you have fewer complete games than wins, you do not deserve the MVP award. 19 Sep via Echofon

I remember when we dressed our rookies as US Cavalry officers. They stopped laughing when we shipped them, unarmed, to Sioux country. 27 Sep via web

When my brigade was low on bullets, hard tack, and provisions we often contemplated "running up the Scott Proctor" and surrendering. 28 Sep via web

"

Honorable Mention: John Bates

Age: 85

If we're speaking technically, John Bates is not an athlete. He is, however, one hell of a Wii bowler. From Kotaku:

"

He has bowled more than 2800 perfect games in Wii Sports bowling, which makes 85-year-old John Bates a world record holder. Impressive, sir.

The newest video game edition of the Guinness Book Of World Records recognizes Wisconsin-based Bates as the holder of the record for "Most Perfect Scores Achieved on Wii Sports Bowling" according to Minnesota's Star Tribune newspaper. A perfect game in bowling is a game that consists entirely of strikes.

"

Listen, I've played Wii bowling and I've never bowled a perfect game, and I'm spry as hell (lie). I'm impressed by Bates, and so he makes the list.

Photo from StarTribune.com

15. Howard Mudd

Age: 69 (70 this February)

I think the important thing to note, as Al Michaels did, is that Howard Mudd is going to have his hip replaced during the Eagles' bye week in October.

However, he doesn't let that stop him from celebrating with LeSean McCoy.

Now that's one cool old dude.

14. Lou Holtz

Age: 74

You know, a lot of people get annoyed by Lou Holtz—so this will probably get me killed in the comments—but here goes: I like him.

I think he's entertaining. I enjoy his mock-arguments with Mark May that often end up actually being a little heated. I enjoy his homerism for Notre Dame and South Florida, despite the fact that I despise Notre Dame. I enjoy his pep talks.

Holtz is honest, knowledgeable and funnier than people give him credit for. So go ahead and give him a hard time—I'll be taking it easy with him on Saturday afternoons.

13. Dick Vitale

Age: 72

I know a lot of you think Vitale is annoying, over-the-top and blah blah blah.

But listen—Vitale is good for college basketball, and always has been. His exuberance, passion for the game and catchphrases (that yes, are now a bit old) have made college basketball fun for those fringe fans who may have otherwise watched something else.

So even if his schtick annoys you now, pay the man his proper respect. He's earned that much.

12. John Gagliardi

Age: 84

Who is John Gagliardi? Glad you asked. From Wikipedia:

"

With a career record of 480–132–11, Gagliardi has the most wins of any coach in college football history. His Saint John's Johnnies teams have won four national titles: the NAIA National Football Championship in 1963 and 1965, and the NCAA Division III National Football Championship in 1976 and 2003. Gagliardi was inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame in 2006. With Chris Ault and Joe Paterno, he is one of three active coaches in the Hall of Fame.

"

In the immortal words of Ali G: Respect.

11. Bob Knight

Age: 70

I fear Bob Knight.

I fear him in the sort of way you fear that really old football coach you had in high school, the one who served in Korea and had you convinced he could kick your butt with a hand tied behind his back.

But you also respected that guy's football knowledge. You knew he would put you in the best position to win.

When I see Knight on ESPN, that's the way I feel—I'm getting the best possible insight into the ins-and-outs of the game. He might throw a chair into a camera or he might teach you something about basketball you never knew.

I respect Bob Knight.

10. Alan Moore

Age: 61

We dock Alan Moore some points for being younger than 70. However, given the fact that he actually participated in a college football game, I think we can let him slide. From ESPN:

"

A 61-year-old Vietnam veteran and grandfather of five became the oldest player ever to get in a college football game. Alan Moore kicked an extra point for NAIA Faulkner in its season-opener on Saturday.

Moore wore a square-toe shoe and kicked old-school style, not soccer style -- trends that were popular when he first played college football in the late `60s. He gave Faulkner a 25-0 lead early in the second half Saturday en route to a 41-19 win over Ave Maria, located in southwest Florida and playing its first game ever.

"

All I'm saying is, a "Roughing the Kicker" penalty could wind up being a traumatizing experience for everyone in attendance.

9. Dick Enberg

Age: 76

"Oh, my!"

As simple—yet effective—as the catch phrase comes, Enberg has lent his voice and insight to broadcasting since he joined NBC Sports in 1975.

And, man, has he covered everything. Football, tennis, golf, the Olympics, baseball, basketball, you name it, Enberg has probably called it.

A true legend of broadcasting.

8. Frank Deford

Age: 72

Frank Deford is one of the great gems in sports journalism. But you don't have to take my word for it:

"

• Member of the National Association of Sportscasters and Sportswriters Hall of Fame
• Six-time U.S. Sportswriter of the Year winner
• Twice voted Magazine Writer of the Year by the Washington Journalism Review
• National Magazine Award recipient for 1999 Sports Illustrated article on Bill Russell
• Peabody Award recipient for writer on 1999 HBO documentary "Dare to Compete"
• Christopher Award winner
• University of Missouri Honor Award for Distinguished Service to Journalism
• Winner of a 1988 Emmy Award for his work as a writer during the Seoul Olympics
• Winner of a CableACE in 1994 for writing the HBO Sports documentary Arthur Ashe: Citizen of the World
• Dick Schaap Award for Outstanding Journalism recipient in 2003

"

If you haven't read any of his work for Sports Illustrated and you want to be a sportswriter, do yourself a favor and check it out.

7. Brent Musburger

Age: 72

(Stick with the video—after the introductions, it gets good.)

There's only one guy I'd prefer to hear on Saturdays, and he'll make an appearance next.

If Musburger's got your game on a Saturday, well, you know two things: it's a marquee matchup, and it's going to be called to perfection.

6. Verne Lundquist

Age: 71

With the exception of Keith Jackson, Verne Lundquist is my all-time favorite college football announcer. As if the SEC wasn't already the most compelling football to watch on Saturdays, hearing him narrate the action is a true pleasure.

Plus, he and Gary Danielson look like Waldorf and Statler from The Muppet Show.

It's uncanny.

5. Mike Ditka

Age: 71

Who's better: Ditka as a coach or Ditka as an ESPN personality?

Trick question—Ditka is God.

The end.

4. Larry Merchant

Age: 80

I think the video speaks for itself.

3. Dick LeBeau

Age: 74

This video pretty much sums it up, but I'd like to reiterate two things: he created the zone-blitz, and he is the defensive coordinator of the best defense in the NFL. Well, at least the best defense last year—this season that remains to be seen.

2. Bill Parcells

Age: 70

I love it when Parcells makes an appearance on ESPN. I would give anything to just pick his brain about football for one afternoon.

Well, as long as he promised not to yell at me. I don't think I could handle that.

1. Joe Paterno

Age: 84

Sure, he mostly sits up in the booth now after sustaining injuries to his shoulder and hips after a collision during an August practice this year.

And yes, I also think it's probably a metaphor for his role on the team when Penn State broadcasts constantly show footage of the coach's booth and Paterno isn't visible behind the glass.

But dude—Paterno is a legend. He's 84 and he still has a passion for what he does. I don't know about you, but that's how I want to spend my life.