The Terrible Ten Of College Football: Week 12

As utterly horrible football seasons grind to a finish football faithful at Terrible Ten schools are beginning to echo Colonel Kurtz in Apocalypse Now by just uttering.."the Horror, the horror..." as they watch their teams bumble and fumble another game away.

Even those on top suffer badly. As Penn State Nittany Lion Coach Joe Paterno showed when after seeing his National Championship hopes dashed by they inept Iowa Hawkeyes he assumed the look of an old sick, sad dog which only wished to roll on its bony back and howl all night in agony.

1. The Washington's 1-18 (Washington Huskie and Washington State Cougars)

Never say the terrible Ten lacks a title game as the Washing-tons stagger horribly to a wretched Washington State Woe down on November 22. Washington State has given up an astounding 252 points in the last four games alone. Willingham is win less but he still says he better the Weis.

2. San Diego State Aztecs 1-9

"We get BCS money anyway and Division I money..." Aztec Coach Chuck Long after a 41 -12 BYU beating. And you thought the bailout money was being wasted on hopeless projects.

3. Tennesse Volunteers 3-7 

When the Wyoming Cowboys whack you, just call it a season and slink away.

4. Notre Dame Fighting Irish 5-4

Ever wonder what happened to Spanky from Our Gang? He's the confused coach of the Notre Dame Irish that's what.

5. Syracuse Orange 2-7

After yet another depressing loss the Orange brain trusts issued this statement.

“Syracuse University has not made an announcement regarding the football program. We are focused on the final home game and our senior day.”—Syracuse athletic director Daryl Gross.

Orange fans hope Daryl is focused on finding a new job by Christmas.

6. Michigan Wolverines 3-7

Slick Rick Rodriguez has turned it around. Next year he is promising a .500 season.

7. SMU Mustangs 1-9

Former Terrible Ten stalwarts Wild Tommy West and his Memphis Showboats pounded SMU. The Terrible Ten always works itself out.

8. North Texas Mean Green 1-9

After the Florida Atlantic Howling Owls hammered the hapless Mean Green 46-13 the Terrible Ten requested Texas Toilet Bowl Match Up between SMU and the Mean Green. We await the NCAA verdict.

9. Purdue Boilermakers 3-7

Poor Joe Tiller's farewell tour has crashed like the Hindenburg.

10. Indiana Hoosiers 3-7

The horrid Hoosiers await Uncle Junior Joe Paterno's wrath this week. Or maybe Joe is still curled up in a bony ball howling Iowa? Iowa? How the hell did we lose to Iowa?