Arsenal: How Fans Are Coping with This Horrid Start to the Season

Whoever thought they'd live to see the day when the Gunners would stop firing.

One goal in three matches thus far in 2011-12 (two league draws, one narrow Champions League playoff victory) has many fans in uproar.

Why hasn't manager Arsene Wenger spent 35 million pounds burning in his tailored-suit pockets from the Fabregas deal, in order to reinforce the squad? (A squad in obvious need of reinforcement!)

For those who watched Saturday's dreary affair (brilliantly coupled by the actual second-half summer-in-London torrential downpour), it was pure torture.

That squad out on the Emirates pitch was no Carling Cup, youngster-driven Arsenal side. Rather, it was the best team Wenger could field for a vital Premier League match, and it reflected the state of Arsenal at the present moment.

Young, largely inexperienced, and lacking in quality going forward.

Things are not looking good.

While Liverpool's acquisitions of Andy Carroll (especially Luis Suarez) last January showed just how far an injection of quality can go in resuscitating a moribund side, Wenger has looked increasingly unsure about spending big in the transfer market. Yet, as ESPN Soccernet writer Mark Lomas wrote in a recap of the Arsenal-Liverpool match, the Uruguayan Suarez showed just how much 22.5 million pounds can get you.

Perhaps a dose of Phil Jagielka here, maybe a pinch of Leighton Baynes there, a sprinkling of some striker who actually scores (cough, cough Marouane Chamakh) on—er...—up top, and voila—you have a side that could make a serious run to the top four, and another season of Champions League football.

So simple, that.

All joking aside, something needs to be done. Because at present, Arsenal are coming dangerously close to resembling a bad girlfriend.

Now, I'm not talking about your sixth-grade fling. I'm talking three-year long, neither-of-us-will-break-up-with-the-other-because-we've-come-too-far, but we can't stand each other anymore type of relationship. The kind of toxic storm that leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth as you wake up each morning. The kind that makes every day a notch greyer.

Anyone who's ever been in what Dane Cook would call a "relation-s@#*" can understand: we've loved the Gunners a long time. Recently, they have tortured us incessantly; yet we refuse to drop them. They still mean too much to us.

Watching them play, we recognize their many shortcomings, and wonder why we cared about them in the first place. After we see them lose 2-0 to Liverpool, and our day is effectively ruined (at 6:30 a.m. PT), we want to break up!

But then comes the gap between games, and, as the adage says, the absence of Arsenal on our TV screen makes the heart grow fonder.

As we await the next fixture, we slowly slink back toward liking that team. We remember only the good times we had, and begin to miss them terribly.

We reason, "Hey, we could make this work again. I miss them too terribly for it not to. I won't ever be angry at them again."

And, lest our hearts grow black with regret, we give it another shot.

And then they play again. And we get angry. And wonder why we cared—again. The cycle spins 'round and 'round.

So, as we experience the latest Arsenal withdrawal after Saturday's match, we look for ways to cope. Just as ice cream and nights of binge-drinking have saved so many jilted lovers throughout the ages (er, for the first example, at least since the invention of the icebox), Arsenal fans turn to the wonderful world of YouTube in their time of need.

While we wallow in our misery, unwilling to meet the light of day, avoiding friends who might drag our pain to the forefront with a passing mention of the club, we turn to the highlight videos representing good times past. A flickering computer screen in a dark, low-lit room. It's soothing, no?

We watch Bergkamp spinning his Newcastle defender like a top before coolly slotting home. We marvel over Henry's flick up-and-shoot over Manchester United's Barthez. Bergkamp scoring here. Henry scoring there (they, uh, scored a lot).

Like the Brandtson song, Mexico, we're "fighting off the memories, and all the living in the past." By, er, living vicariously through highlight videos.

Funny how five minutes of highlights set to the tune of obscure 80's pop-rock can help take the edge off internal pain.

So here's my list, without further ado.

Dennis Bergkamp Against Tottenham

Ah, how I miss that wholly unique commentating dynamo that was Andy Gray.

Sealing a 3-0 rout of Tottenham in the North London Derby, Dennis Bergkamp gave fitting testament to his renown as one of the greatest strikers to ever play the game. The Flying Dutchman never shortchanged the paying customer, providing some of the most wonderful finishes ever seen by a player to don the red-and-white shirt.

His touch—immaculate; his control—immediate; his finish—impeccable. Not too much you can find wrong about this video. Fifteen years on, and it still brings goosebumps.

If only a young Bergkamp could be paired with van Persie up front these days.

But as Torii Hunter's grandpa once said, "If 'if' was a fifth, we'd all be drunk." So, to stave off sinking down into that expansive realm of drink, onto the next slide!

Thierry Henry Against Manchester United

A fine goal in any fixture, this strike had the added components of Andy Gray's unique hyperbole, and being against Manchester United—enough to vault it into the realm of epic.

The audacity would have made Obama proud. The difficulty inherent in this technique would have brought a smile to any purist's lips. Manager Arsene Wenger must have been trying hard to keep from eliciting a chuckle—patting himself on the back for bringing Henry in from Juventus so many years ago while across the touchline, Sir Alex Ferguson shook his head in bemusement.

That's the kind of goal you tip your hat to.

Van Persie Against Charlton Athletic

Van Persie's wonder-volley is sensational enough to give Henry's goal versus United a run for its money in terms of sheer spontaneity.

Who honestly thought to themselves, while watching Emmanuel Eboue float in that cross to the top of the Charlton penalty area: "Hey, I think van Persie will volley that first-time into the upper 90."

In his post-match interview at the tail end of this video, van Persie mentions his goal against Blackburn at Highbury, when he cut past two defenders (one of them the insufferable Robbie Savage) before dispatching a wonderful left-footed shot from the right edge of the penalty area.

The quality of the technique in the Charlton strike makes it that extra bit more special, to my mind.

That left foot is good enough to be cast in gold after the Dutchman hangs up his boots for the last time.

Andrei Arshavin Against Barcelona

Those free-flowing Arsenal passing movements, once commonplace during even the matches with the biggest implications, have seemingly faded into memory. Well, if the first three matches of the current campaign are any indication, anyways.

For a glorious moment in time last February, however, Arsenal were fluent in their fluidity, once more.

Built from the edge of their own penalty area. The one-touch pass from Wilshere (who was immense in that match) to Fabregas. The delightful turn by the ham-strung captain, then a sumptuous, perfectly-weighted forty-yard pass with the outside of his boot to an onrushing Nasri. Who then held up play on the edge of the penalty area before picking out the arriving Arshavin, who shifted directions in his run before finishing with aplomb—sending a low, curling effort past the helpless Valdes into the bottom corner of the net.

Ah, rosy retrospection.

While he looks unlikely to ever reach the exclusive pantheon of legendary players to have worn the Arsenal shirt, Andrei Arshavin has delivered some goals of (to quote Andy Gray) "immense, immense quality."

The little Russian's finish here, to seal off what was a vintage display of end-to-end Champions League action, was more difficult than many give it credit.

And in that respect, it was vintage Arshavin. He has put away some of the most spectacular finishes I've ever seen. Stuff of genius.

And when I look back on the diminutive dynamo, I feel certain that's how I'll remember him: an erratic genius. Able to conjure magic at the drop of a hat, before fading into oblivion for unbearably long passages of time.

Perhaps Samuel Butler said it best: "Genius is a supreme capacity for getting its possessors into trouble of all kinds."

Just ask the Arsenal faithful how Arshavin's antics test their patience.

Theo Walcott's Run, Adebayor's Finish Against Liverpool

Who else felt certain that this goal had sent Arsenal into the 2008 Champions League semifinals?

And though it's a bit of an anomaly on this list—since it's more about the run than the actual goal—what a brilliant run it was.

Say what you will about Theo Walcott, who has had an inconsistent Arsenal career to say the least. Like so many current Gunners, he has provided some sensational displays during his tenure. This Liverpool run—remember, he was only 19 at the time—is one of the best I've ever seen.

An 80-yard run that left Liverpool defenders in some kind of Roadrunner dust. Walcott flew up the Anfield pitch before cutting back a pass for the arriving Adebayor, who coolly finished.

Were it not for the ensuing mistake by Philippe Senderos, who allowed Fernando Torres—the '07-08 version, who was in the form of his life—the inch he needed to score, Arsenal would have played Chelsea for the right to gain passage to the Champions League final for the second time in three years. (Arsenal were finalists in Paris in 2006)

It had me pumping my fists in my college student center. It had me thinking this might be Arsenal's year.

Oh, well.

Once more, before the moribund thoughts overwhelm me in their incessant haste, onto the next slide!

Collective Movement Against Liverpool

For those who accuse Arsenal of trying to walk the ball into the back of the net, this video is for you.

While I agree that Arsenal too often go for the sensational when the perfectly average would suffice, it's goals like this that make you remember why you love the side.

Arsene has been fastidious in his defense of Arsenal's philosophy of play. While it has looked a shell of its former beautiful self in recent weeks, this goal—delivered by the remaining Invincibles—was its golden age.

The immaculate one-touch passing, the ball gliding along the pitch, the intrepid runs past the defense, the cool finishing. It's great stuff, and it's vintage Arsenal at their best.

Nasri Against Fulham

It was a goal that could sum up Samir Nasri's first half of 2010-11, a period during which he seemed to waltz, not run, throughout a string of sensational performances, as he carried Arsenal through the diffcult months of captain Cesc Fabregas' recuperation from an untimely hamstring injury.

His first goal, when he seemed to glide across the box before finishing emphatically past former Gunner target Mark Schwarzer, was brilliant.

This second was icing on the cake of the Emirates Stadium billiards green.

Always seeming just on the edge of full-tilt collapse, Nasri retained enough balance during this incisive run past what seemed to be the entirety of the Fulham defense before finishing with a flourish.

It was crescendo in its finest form.

In Conclusion

This is my list, and I've checked it twice.

I'm not going to define it as the definitive account of "best" Arsenal goals. That would be tacky, and completely pointless.

"Favorite goals" is an incredibly subjective category—so many things go into making a certain strike your "favorite"—where you were, who you were with, how drunk you might have been...etc.

As my eyes glazed over during this weekend—so intent was I in obliterating the Liverpool game from memory that I sat, hunched, before my computer for hours on end, thinking that enough viral videos might overload my brain and banish that painful match from my memory.

These are some of my favorites: and there's a reason behind each one. Whether it was the calm, calculated build-up of a vintage Arsenal "team goal", or the instantaneous glory of an Arshavin strike, or whether they fell somewhere in between, they helped me feel a little better.

And, after all, isn't that what YouTube is for?