Arsenal's Top 5 Strangest Moments

These are, indeed, strange times at Chateaux D’Emirates; If there was a trophy for the team whose manager used the words “strength”, “belief” and “spirit” the most, then there would certainly be no six year without silverware issue.

Everybody will have a different take on what constitutes “strangest moments”.   I have taken the liberty of including what my ideas are. Happenings off the field of play and/or which comprise a state of affairs which give rise to a “moment”. Mr Wenger, as you will see, appears rather frequently.

5. The Clock End kitchen fire.

It was, as I recall, a tedious Saturday encounter in the early Don Howe era at Highbury. Very little of note was happening on the pitch itself, as was the custom and practise in those days. Readers may remember that behind the old Clock End was located a drab block of flats that overlooked the stadium. In one of those flats somebody was in the kitchen cooking something in a frying pan. Suddenly, the pan caught fire and for a few seconds flames seemed to engulf the kitchen  The fire then erupted from the kitchen window and rose several feet into the air.

At one point, it seemed that the whole block was about to go up in flames. Then all of a sudden, the fire went out and black smoke plumed out of the window. This odd incident has always stuck in my mind as one of the highlights of the early Don Howe era. The incident was certainly strange and surreal of itself; Equally strange is the realisation that this was about the most memorable thing that happened at Highbury throughout that entire era.

4. Jimmy Rimmer.

I might simply end my number four with no further embellishment; however, it is worth continuing. Not only was a person called Jimmy Rimmer an Arsenal goalkeeper (and actually not a bad one either), but I specifically recall him once throwing the ball either in, or at least very nearly in, to his own net. I certainly remember that it was against Aston Villa at Highbury.

Rimmer had stated beforehand that he was keen to join Villa (strange in itself?) and conspiracy theories were rife in the North Bank.  When what should have been an innocuous throw of the ball by Rimmer, he managed to fail to release the ball while facing out of his goal  Instead doing so, while facing back towards the North Bank goal he was purporting to defend. The ball either (a) crept into the net (b) hit the post and was cleared or (c) avoided going in the goal but prompted a melee in the six yard area. Whatever happened, it was strange, and Rimmer did subsequently join Villa.

3. The losses of Gilberto Silva, Lassana Diarra and Mathieu Flamini in a single season.

Having sold Patrick Vieira at the end of the 2004-2005 season, Arsenal clearly needed to fill the huge void left by that phenomenal player. Gilberto Silva, the Brazilian “invisible wall” was good, but plainly nearing the end of his useful life in the premiership. Long term planning was essential.

Mathieu Flamini, who joined in the summer of 2005, was developing into a versatile driving force who complemented the emerging Fabregas. In August 2007, Lassana Diarra arrived from Chelsea. Thus in season 2007-2008 Arsenal could boast Gilberto, Fabregas, Flamini and Diarra as vying for midfield places. Yet, somehow, Arsenal contrived to lose all but Fabregas in a single season.

Diarra lasted only until January 2008 and Flamini and Gilberto each went in the summer of 2009 (Flamini on a free transfer, Diarra to Portsmouth for £5 million, and subsequently to Real Madrid for £20 million).

Equally strange was how Arsenal allowed a player of Flamini’s obvious quality to stroll unchallenged into the Bosman free transfer lounge- an omission which probably cost the club in the region of £20 Million. Just when Arsenal seemed to be rebuilding its midfield after the departure of Vieira, the entire edifice was destroyed in one foul swoop, without even the consolation of significant transfer proceeds. This was from a club that prides itself on being run in a prudent manner.

2. The Centre Half Problem: The baby and the bathwater.

As with Jimmy Rimmer, one might simply add a full stop and move on. Having inherited centre halves of the calibre of Adams, Bould and Keown, Mr Wenger’s attempts to replace these have failed badly.  With the honourable exceptions of Vermaelan and Campbell, Igor Stepanovs (now FK Jurmala, Latvia) and Phillipe Senderos, as well as the current Squillaci and Koscielny, all struggled to adapt to the rigours of the premiership. Accordingly, Arsenal has, for several seasons, been ludicrously vulnerable to crude aerial or physical bombardment of the type which vastly inferior teams have been able to exploit.

In 2010 -2011 Arsenal gave away a four-goal away half time lead at Newcastle, and the loss of valuable points from this and similar type capitulations against Tottenham (both home and away) and Liverpool (at home) now mean that Arsenal has to pre-qualify for the Champions League (at a potential cost of £25 million for failure to do so). This is even more significant than the slap stick ending to the Carling Cup final, in which the Champions League quarter finalists lost to a team subsequently relegated from the Premiership.

Mr Wenger has steadfastly ignored almost universal astonishment at the failure to secure a physically imposing centre half of proven Premiership aptitude, experience, and calibre. In January 2011 (despite the seriousness of Vermaelan’s season long injury being known), attempts to sign Chris Samba from Blackburn came to nothing.  This was due to disagreements over his valuation, which presumably amounted to a relative fraction of the possible loss of Champions League revenue in 2011-2012. 

Mr Gazedis, Arsenal’s Chief Executive, recently cautioned that Arsenal would not “throw the baby out of the bathwater” in its transfer dealings; instead, it appears that the club chooses to allow four goal leads and guaranteed Champions League football to drain out of a bath that has no plug; strange indeed.

1. Mr Wenger’s press conference, Friday 12 August 2011.

Horatio Nelson is credited with the line “I see no ships” (albeit he seemingly actually said “I really do not see the signal”). The expression is now used in popular parlance to describe a scenario where somebody denies being able to see something which is quite obviously happening before their eyes.

Mr Wenger has some form on this front in connection with alleged physical transgressions by his teams (quite apart from its failings in defence).  However his statement at the press conference on 12 August 2011 that “I expect nobody to leave the club” (and be transferred to Barcelona) receives my personal award for the strangest moment I am able to recall at Arsenal, on or off the pitch (older readers will note that Sammy Nelson  lowering his shorts and exposing his posterior to the North Bank did not even make my top five).

Within 72 hours of Mr Wenger’s Nelson moment, Fabregas was parading around the Nou Camp in a Barcelona shirt.  Has Mr Wenger yet been informed? Given that, Fabregas says that he had said goodbye to Mr Wenger on the very day of the press conference.  One hopes (if not assumes), that he has.  Life is strange, isn't it?