101 World Football Heroes and Villains: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Quite frankly, I'm sick of transfer rumors.  While I'm guilty of writing articles such as "Manchester United: 5 Bargain Buys To Improve the Central Midfield," I cannot help but to think there is something more substantive to discuss.

Inspired by watching some quality international tournaments this summer, I've gone ahead and created a list of the most heroic and villainous characters to both review a sensational 2010-2011 football season and prepare for what promises to be an equally exhilarating 2011-2012 season.

Essentially an index, the list will begin with the most despicable figures in the game and gradually progress to the most inspirational characters.

Enjoy!

101. Erica

With this downright disgraceful display of sportsmanship in Brazil's Women's World Cup quarterfinal match against the United States, defender Erica did the unthinkable: dethrone Cristiano Ronaldo as the most notorious flopper in all of football. 

Nevertheless, as a result of her classless antics, the referee extended extra time of the second period of overtime just long enough for American striker Abby Wambach to fire home the equalizer.

Karma's a *****!

(Though the United States won, FIFA should allow referees to show straight red cards for players who intentionally waste time.)

100. Al-Saadi Al-Gaddafi

The son of Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi and current commander of the Libyan Special Forces, Al-Saadi Al-Gaddafi actually played in Serie A for four seasons between 2003 and 2007.  During his less than outstanding career, he made two total appearances during stints with Perugia, Udinese and Sampdoria.

Suspended in 2003 after testing positive for a banned substance, his coach and teammates were shocked as no performance-enhancing drug could have possibly raised his level of performance enough to compete with the other players.

Apparently much more skilled at slaughtering innocent people than scoring goals, Al-Gaddafi is surely one of the most despicable characters to ever play professional football.

99. River Plate Fans

Apparently drawing inspiration from their hooligan colleagues in Vancouver, River Plate fans decided that the best way to mourn their storied football club's relegation would be by rioting throughout their own neighborhood.

While I laugh at their semi-barbaric behavior, I actually respect River Plate fans for caring so much about their team.  I wish that our fans cared enough to riot every time the United States Men's National Team (USMNT) failed to meet expectations.

On second thought, I would rather watch Landon Donovan urinate on Mexico's field than watch my compatriots tear up Washington D.C. or Los Angeles.

98. Sepp Blatter

According to an article from The Daily Mail, I am clearly not the only one to find the timing of the corruption charges leveled against Sepp Blatter's chief opponent in the 2011 election, Mohamed Bin Hammam, quite sketchy.

Evading corruption charges leveled against himself, the ugly cockroach that is FIFA's president once again escaped his own squashing and is now free to continue his shoddy mismanagement of international football.

97. Silvio Berlusconi

Italian Prime Minister and AC Milan owner Silvio Berlusconi has not fared well lately.

First, he was accused of soliciting underage prostitutes and using his government authority to cover up his deviant behavior.

Then, an Italian appeals court ordered his company Fininvest to pay €560 million to a rival business as compensation for bribing a judge into delivering a favorable ruling in a 1991 legal battle against industrialist Carlo De Benedetti.

96. Andy Grey and Richard Keys

If you are like me, the first thought that popped into your head was: Who's going to replace Andy Gray as co-commentator alongside Martin Tyler in the EA Sports soccer video game FIFA 12?

Anyway, there's talk here in the United States that Major League Soccer teams may actually attempt to sign players (Hope Solo) from the United States Women's National Team.  While the pair saved their harshest criticism for female referees and club executives, I could only imagine what they might have to say about a female potentially playing in a male league.

Just make sure you have your headsets turned off next time...

95. Luis Moreno

In a tremendously cruel act, defender Luis Moreno of Colombian club Deportivo Pereira ran toward a wounded owl which had landed on the field and kicked the helpless bird.

The owl, which was the unofficial mascot of opposing Colombian team Atletico Juniors, died roughly a day later.

Unsurprisingly, Moreno indicated that he had received a number of threats.  Knowing what we know about Colombian defenders who draw the wrong sort of attention to themselves, I would caution him to watch his back.

94. Jose Mourinho

Dear Jose Mourinho,

If you win the Champions League this year, your European victory will not come as a result of spending millions to add the likes of Mesut Özil, Ángel Di María, Fábio Coentrão, Nuri Şahin and Ricardo Carvalho to a team which already featured Cristiano Ronaldo, Kaká, Xabi Alonso, Marcelo and Iker Casillas. 

No Mr. Mourinho, your victory will come surely as a result of tactical superiority over all of the lesser managers in Europe.  In fact, you are so brilliant that you alone could overcome a UEFA conspiracy to prevent Real Madrid from winning a Champions League Final.

Also, you are not at all a narcissist.  Instead, you selflessly draw all of the media's attention so that your players can focus exclusively on preparing for the match.  This reason explains why you so humbly crowned yourself, "the Special One."

Sincerely,

Average Football Fan

93. Sergio Ramos

Iker Casillas presumably warning Sergio Ramos to grip the trophy with both hands.  Obviously Ramos failed to heed his captain's advice as the trophy would soon be traveling under the wheel of a giant bus.

92. Maarten Stekelenburg

According to an old saying, "imitation is the highest form of flattery."  I guess we can go ahead and assume that Maarten Stekelenburg is a huge Sergio Ramos supporter. 

Heck, in a year when fans mourn defeat by destroying their own cities, why can't winning players express their jubilance by destroying their trophies?

91. Diego Maradona

It's no secret that Diego Maradona does a great deal of talking and very little coaching, yet he continues to link himself to an eventual move to the English Premier League.  Surely fans, players and all major club executives are aware of his major intellectual deficiencies and would not support any decision to bring him on board. 

Nevertheless, the iconic footballer will undoubtedly continue to delude himself with visions of grandeur.

Who knows?  Maybe Fed can get Maradona a job...as his personal cheerleader (benefits would include a personal collection of gaudy cardigans).

90. Rafa Benítez

After succumbing to the incompetence of former Liverpool owners Tom Hicks and George Gillette, Rafael Benítez assumed the impossibly difficult assignment of taking over for the defending Champions League victors Inter Milan.

Benítez probably could have survived at the San Siro for at least the remainder of the season had he not issued a "back me or sack me" ultimatum to club president Massimmo Moratti following a less than impressive Club World Cup victory.

Oops.

89. Heurelho Gomes

Symbolic of Tottenham's 2010-2011 season, Heurelho Gomes simply failed to live up to expectations.  While he demonstrated moments of brilliance, his inability to secure soft shots ultimately prevented his team from securing Champions League football for the second consecutive season.

However, things could be worse...at least he's not Robert Green...

88. Peter Crouch

Gomes let in some soft goals, but Crouchy one-upped him by scoring a decisive own goal in a league match against Manchester City which ultimately cost Spurs a place in the 2011-2012 Champions League.  The irony of his blunder was not lost on football fans who remember Crouch's 2010 goal against City which secured Tottenham's inaugural season in Europe's premier tournament.

Crouch further hampered his team's progress by earning an early red card against Real Madrid in the first leg of the Champions League quarterfinal tie.  Already overmatched, 10-men Spurs went on to lose 4-0.

87. Ashley Cole

As a left-back, Cole doesn't get too many opportunities to shoot at goal.  Compensating for his lack of opportunities, Cole took his chance in the dressing room when he fired a .22 caliber rifle at a student intern standing less than five feet away from him.

The intern was okay, but I hear Roman Abramovich is considering issuing Kevlar vests to all Chelsea employees as a precautionary measure.

86. Céline Deville and Bérangère Sapowicz

Posing in the nude, Bérangère Sapowicz succeeded in drawing attention to herself

Earning a red card in France's final group stage match and floundering around in a semifinal loss to the United States, she continued to draw attention to herself.

Céline Deville was not much better.

85. Alex McLeish and Carson Yeung

Combining for surely one of the most disappointing seasons in Birmingham City history, Alex McLeish first failed his club by finishing 18th and securing relegation to the Football Championship. 

The club decided to keep McLeish as manager, so they began purchasing the players he wanted for the upcoming season.  However, when offered the Aston Villa job, he quickly switched allegiances and joined the more stable Birmingham side.

To rub salt into Blues fans' wounds, owner Carson Yeung was recently arrested in Hong Kong on money-laundering charges.

Strangely enough, fans can at least look forward to European competition next year as Birmingham City qualified for the Europa League by defeating Arsenal in the Carling Cup Final.

84. Cristiano Ronaldo

In his last game with Manchester United in the 2009 Champions League final, Cristiano Ronaldo suffered a devastating loss to an ascendant Barcelona side.

Eighty-six games and 83 goals later, Ronaldo and his Real Madrid teammates are still second-best.

83. Argentine National Football Team

With a front line featuring the likes of Lionel Messi, Carlos Tévez and Kun Agüero, Argentina should be an elite world power.

With the likes of Ángel Di María, Gonzalo Higuaín and Diego Milito entering from the bench, Argentina should be the best side in the world.

Nevertheless, the Argentines continued their recent tradition of quarterfinal exits by losing to neighbor Uruguay on penalties in the Copa America.

If only Argentina had had the support of their raucous fans....Oh wait...

82. Roberto Mancini

According to the old saying, "If you can't beat 'em, buy 'em."

Even though owner Sheikh Mansour has spent £500 million on player transfers over the past three seasons, Mancini is still convinced that City will need to add a couple more high-profile signings to remain competitive with local rivals Manchester United.

Thank God for UEFA's new Financial Fair Play rules—I can't wait to watch Mancini actually try to make a decent signing without paying 1,000 percent of a player's market value.

81. Cesc Fàbregas

Would you prefer to captain one of the top 10 teams in the world or ride the bench on the very best team?

To the average football fan, this question has a no-brainer response.

Nevertheless, Cesc Fàbregas is certainly not normal and seems destined to continue whining until Arsène Wenger gives in and returns him to his former club.

80. The United States Defense

Awkward and slow-footed for as long as I can remember, the United States defense reached the pinnacle of their incompetence by blowing a 2-0 lead against hated rivals Mexico in the Gold Cup final.

Normally we have Tim Howard in goal to clean up their mistakes, but the Howard imposter that manager Bob Bradley put in the starting lineup simply sucked. 

He was an imposter, right?

79. Alexis Sánchez

Touted as the world's next superstar, Chilean winger Alexis Sánchez is simply overrated.

After impressing for Udinese last season, Sánchez should stick around for another season and ply his trade in the Champions League.  Surely a successful campaign with the Serie A side would do much to vindicate his roughly £40 million price tag and reassure potential buyers that he is the real deal. 

78. Fernando Torres

Chelsea set a new British transfer record by purchasing Fernando Torres for £50 million from Liverpool.

With only one goal on the books with his new club, Torres appears to have set the British record for most expensive goal with a £50 million strike against West Ham.

With West Ham relegated at the end of the 2010-2011 season, look for Torres to prey on the likes of Wigan and Wolves in addition to recently promoted outfits Norwich City and Swansea City.

77. Pascal Chimbonda

An EPL nomad, Chimbonda has played for six teams in the past six seasons.  His most memorable moment came in a November 2010 match between Manchester United and Blackburn Rovers where he was essential to United's 7-1 victory.

Unfortunately, Chimbonda was playing for Blackburn, and his "influential" defending opened the floodgates for Dimitar Berbatov and Co.

76. Marta

Labelled the "pantomime villian" of the Women's World Cup (WWC) by ESPN commentator Ian Darke, Marta's on-field theatrics turned the vast majority of WWC fans firmly against her.

While she might be the best female player in the world and all-time Women's World Cup leading scorer, she once again returns to Brazil without a WWC championship.

Shhhhhh—Marta listen up!  No one wants you to win.

75. Robbie Keane

Still considering himself a legitimate EPL striking option, Keane passed his prime many years ago.  Nevertheless, after fighting for a place in the starting XI of whichever team would accept him, he ended up at West Ham for the second half of the 2010-2011 season. 

After (amazingly) failing to help the Londoners avoid relegation, he returns to White Hart Lane where he once again becomes one of Harry Redknapp's many problems.

74. Avram Grant

Highly regarded for his successful spell with Chelsea and for guiding lowly Portsmouth to the 2010 FA Cup final, Grant was supposed to resurrect a floundering West Ham side and lift them to the middle of the table. 

However, working with a roster of overpaid, under-talented players, he failed.

At least West Ham fans are used to occasionally dropping into the Football Championship.

73. Ryan Giggs

In the above picture, we see Ryan Giggs hanging his head in disappointment as his Manchester United side once again fell to mighty Barcelona.  Had this been Giggsy's only setback of the season, he certainly would have found himself a place amongst the heroes.

However, not only did he cheat on his wife with Welsh model and former Miss Wales Imogen Thomas, but he sought a gag order to prevent the tabloids from releasing his name in connection with the extra-marital affair.

At least she was really, really hot.

72. Randy Lerner

Here's a list of the players who have recently departed Aston Villa under owner Randy Lerner's watch:

1) Gareth Barry

2) James Milner

3) Ashley Young

4) Stewart Downing

Former manager Martin O'Neil quit once he realized he would never be allowed to keep his top players.

Yeah, I would hate Lerner too if I was a Villa fan...

71. Javier Pastore

The 21-year-old Argentine scores 11 goals and bags five assists and he's worth £45 million?

Schwhat...?

70. Riccardo Garrone

Presiding over one of the most disastrous campaigns in European football history, Sampdoria owner Riccardo Garrone saw his team begin the season as Champions League contenders and finish the Serie A campaign in the relegation zone.

After allowing the sale of stars Antonio Cassano and Giampaolo Pazzini, the Genoese outfit were in serious need of some offensive production.

The answer?

Federico Macheda!

69. Felix Magath

Despite guiding Schalke through the Champions League Round of 16, Magath was apparently despised by his players.

Not quite sure how he managed to win with players who hated him, but he's apparently not too popular at new club Wolfsburg either.

68. Luka Modrić

One of the greediest and most selfish players in the EPL, Luka Modrić happily agreed to a six-year contract extension with Tottenham which offered him a massive weekly pay raise. 

However, after Spurs finished a single place outside of Champions League qualification, he has decided that he no longer wants to stay at White Hart Lane and would rather seek Champions League football at Chelsea.

Whatever.  Here's to hoping Harry Redknapp makes him miserable by refusing to sell the lad...

67. Sergio "Kun" Agüero

After signing a two-year contract extension in January of this past year, Aguero explained to Sky Sports, "This is not merely putting a signature on a contract.  It's also about renewing a commitment to the club at which I arrived when I was only 18 years old and I have been with for almost five years."

According to an ESPNsoccernet.com article published last week, Aguero most recently explained, "I will not return to Atletico, it is clear.  I talked to the club, gave a statement, now my representatives are negotiating my departure from the club."

Ditto Luka Modrić.

66. Carlos Tévez

Tévez to Milan?

What?

Oh never mind—I forgot that City stole a box of AC Milan jerseys for the FA Cup trophy presentation.

In actual news, the Argentine hitman's rumored £40 million move to Corinthians should be an excellent move for both parties.

From the club's perspective, Tévez hasn't spent more than two years with a single club since leaving Boca Juniors in 2004.

From the player's perspective, the temperamental Argentine despised his initial spell with Corinthians as the Brazilian referees and fans constantly badgered him for his Argentine heritage.

If the move does materialize, I give him three months before he starts whining to get back to Europe...

65. Mario Balotelli

According to an article published on ESPNsoccernet.com, an unidentified Manchester City source reported, "Mario was pulled over by the police and he had £25,000 cash on the passenger seat. They asked him why and he said, 'Because I can.'"

Hmmm...take a 19-year-old with major attitude problems, plop him down in a foreign country and give him lots of money.  What did anyone think would happen?  Sometimes I think that City's management is even stupider than the players...

64. Elano

And the award for worst penalty of the year goes to...

Elano!

Remind me again why the lad who skipped Manchester City for Galatasaray is featuring regularly for Brazil?

63. Robert Green

Fourteen months ago, Robert Green was a starting keeper for an EPL side and England's No. 1.

Now he is neither.

Who wouldn't feel sorry for the lad?

62. Neymar

The youngest player to ever feature in an international match, the 12-year-old Brazilian should develop into an excellent player once he goes through puberty.

Real Madrid fans were devastated by news that Neymar would stay with Santos instead of helping Jose Mourinho address the dearth of talented offensive players in his squad.

61. Nicklas Bendtner

Two reasons why Nicklas Bendtner should have played in U-21 European Championship:

1) He would have actually played.

2) He might have actually scored.

60. Mariano Pavone

Partnering with Amnesty International, Blackburn manager Steve Keane decided to save Mariano Pavone's life from the clutches of angry River Plate fans by offering him a contract at Ewood Park.

Apparently not too popular in the football world, even the innocuous and always friendly Carles Puyol has apparently tried to spank him.

59. Julie Foudy

Apparently not too familiar with football overtime rules, the former American international and current ESPN commentator repeatedly appeared to believe that regular time in the second period of overtime ended at 115 minutes instead of at 120 minutes.

I could have tolerated this mistake had it not been virtually the only statement she uttered that did not somehow reference the 1999 Women's World Cup championship team.

I know the 1999 squad was great, but can we move on now?

58. Qatar Foundation

According to BBC, "The Qatar Foundation is a non-profit organisation concerned primarily with education projects in the Middle East."

How a £125 million sponsorship with Barcelona helps achieve this goal is anyone's guess.

57. Owen Hargreaves

The former Bayern Munich star and England international mustered a total of nine splendid minutes this season.

56. Federico Macheda

Scoring only a single goal for Manchester United during the first half of the 2010-2011 season, United boss Sir Alex Ferguson shipped Macheda off on loan to Sampdoria where he failed to score for the entire second half of the season.

However, we must not be to quick to judge.  Macheda just recently turned in a spectacular performance for Manchester United against the New England Revolution of the MLS.

55. David Beckham

At 36, David Beckham still regularly links himself with the likes of Manchester United, Tottenham and Real Madrid.

The former England captain obviously prefers top-flight football, so why exactly did he join the LA Galaxy while still in the prime of his career?

54. Roberto Carlos

At 38 years old, former Real Madrid and Brazilian starlet Roberto Carlos simply refuses to retire.  Now plying his trade with insignificant Russian outfit Anzhi Makhachkala, the once-brilliant playmaker has simply faded into obscurity.

He should certainly have learned from his former teammate, Zinedine Zidane, who galvanized his reputation as one of the world's finest footballers by retiring immediately following a stunning individual display at the 2006 World Cup.

53. Arsène Wenger

Arsène Wenger recently drafted a letter to an unhappy fan which essentially explained that while Arsenal had not elected to spend heavily in the transfer market so far, he would make sure the team was prepared to win trophies in the upcoming season.

Maybe it's just me, but I think Wenger's rambling letter was intended to convince himself more than supporters that his side can actually contend for championships.

52. Japanese Men's Football Team

In the wake of the Japanese Women's National Team Women's World Cup victory, the Japanese Men's National Team had an opportunity to capture a similarly special prize. 

Selected to play in the Copa America as a guest nation, an ascendant Japanese side eventually withdrew from the tournament as a result of the recent earthquake/tsunami disaster. 

Having had the opportunity to compete in a field featuring weakened Brazilian and Argentine sides, the men will undoubtedly wonder what could have been.

51. Landon Donovan

Not quite sure how Landy Cakes fits into this list, but I think you will find this commercial quite humorous.

50. Denilson

Neither good nor bad, happy nor sad, habitually neutral Arsenal midfielder Denilson marks the exact middle of our list.

While he has done little to speak about during his tenure with Gunners, this picture should at least make you laugh.

49. Gary Neville

Of all the baseball games that Gary Neville could have attended while visiting United States, he chose to watch the White Sox?  Well, I bet he at least got along quite well with Sox manager Ozzie Guillen...

Anyway, while reflecting on the brilliant career of one of Fergie's finest, we can at least agree on one thing: Neville was right that Carlos Tevez was not worth £25 million.  He's actually worth a lot more!

48. Theyab Awana

Not quite sure if I should be impressed by Theyab Awana's boldness in a 7-2 UAE victory over Lebanon or disgusted by his lack of sportsmanship.  I think I'll go with the former of the two options.

Nevertheless, UAE football officials were not too impressed and have considered suspending or fining the 21-year-old for his conduct.

Things could be worse.  He could have pulled a Mario Balotelli and failed to score with his gratuitous backheel attempt.

47. FC Barcelona Players

Priority No. 1: bring Cesc Fàbregas to the Nou Camp.

Priority No. 2: capture Champions League trophies.

46. Leonardo

Three clubs in three years?

While Leonardo has done his fair share of moving around, he did reasonably well managing both Milanese sides. 

In his new gig as director of football operations with oil-rich PSG, he will get to spend some serious cash and will probably turn the Parisian side into a perennial Champions League side.

45. Wayne Rooney

After scoring one of the greatest goals in football history with his game-winning strike against rival Manchester City, Rooney should be near the top of the list.

When considering that he also torched Chelsea in four contests this year and scored an unlikely goal against Barcelona in the Champions League final, Rooney should be amongst the top five heroes.

However, after threatening to leave the club until he received a massive pay raise, the England international has not yet moved back into my good graces.

44. Dale Jennings

So you are going to tell me that a League 1 kid did not draw any real interest from any of the Football Championship or English Premier League teams but now has an offer from Bayern Munich?

I'm skeptical.

Nevertheless, Dale Jennings seems talented enough to develop into a decent substitute for the Bavarians.  In the meantime, don't be surprised if he's loaned out to a smaller German club until he adjusts to a much faster style of play.

43. Andre Villas-Boas

Despite newly appointed Chelsea boss Andre Villas-Boas' insistence that he does not seek to emulate former Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho, his career has followed a nearly identical trajectory to that of the self-appointed "Special One."

Hoping that he does not give himself any nicknames or formulate any conspiracy theories for why Chelsea can't beat Manchester United (which they won't), I'm willing to give him a chance to develop into a successful and well-regarded figure who could stay with the Blues for a long, long time.

42. Sheikh Abdullah Al Thani

I hate Manchester City owner Sheikh Mansour and his wasteful transfer policy.

I hate even more that Barcelona and Real Madrid have established an unstoppable duopoly in La Liga.

Therefore, I'll take the lesser of two evils and accept new Málaga owner Sheikh Abdullah Al Thani's excessive spending if his side can eventually unseat Real Madrid and Barcelona as La Liga champions.

41. Jay Bothroyd

A former Arsenal outcast, Jay Bothroyd impressed enough with Football Championship side Cardiff City to earn a call-up from England manager Fabio Capello. 

Having just completed a transfer to recently promoted QPR side, look for Bothroyd to form a dangerous tandem with star playmaker Adel Taarabt.

40. Marcelo

Football fans are quick to mention that Cristiano Ronaldo scored 54 goals this past season and that Mesut Özil collected an impressive 26 assists.  However, few are aware of Brazilian fullback Marcelo's contributions to the team.

Solid in defense, Marcelo also moves forward exceptionally well, often leading the counterattacks which make Jose Mourinho-coached sides so dangerous.

At only 23 years old, he has a very bright future and could very well match or even exceed the accomplishments of a certain other Brazilian left-back who also played for Real Madrid...

39. LeBron James

What do LeBron James and Liverpool have in common?

They don't win championships!

Nevertheless, I give LeBron credit.  By investing in Liverpool, the Miami Heat star has once again demonstrated an entrepreneurial vision quite unusual amongst professional athletes.

Desiring to eventually become a billionaire, don't be surprised if King James ends up purchasing his own football club sometime in the future.

38. Aaron Ramsey

Missing nearly a year to injury after suffering a horrific challenge from Stoke defender Steve Shawcross, Arsenal midfielder Aaron Ramsey rebounded nicely and ended up scoring the only goal in Gunners' 1-0 victory over Manchester United.

Also named captain of the Welsh National Team, the 20-year-old appears to have a bright football future ahead of him.

37. Stevan Jovetić

At 21 years old, Stevan Jovetić is regarded as one of the finest young playmakers in Serie A.  However, unlike self-absorbed colleagues Javier Pastore and Alexis Sánchez, the Fiorentina star and Montenegran international is actually happy to continue developing at his current club.

According to an ESPNsoccernet.com report, the Carles Puyol look-alike actually spurned interest from Barcelona by explaining, "Barca is the top club in the world but it is a team that has already been built...It would be difficult to have playing time there and I want to play. At Fiorentina I can play and I can improve my game."

A star grounded in reality?  I really hope he is rewarded for his patience.

36. The Venezuelan Men's National Team

My brother's girlfriend is Venezuelan, so I made sure to give her plenty of grief when I saw that lowly Venezuela would actually be competing in the Copa America this year.

Despite their poor football heritage, Los Llaneros shocked fans by not only holding Brazil to a 0-0 draw but by also defeating Chile and supposed-wonderkid Alexis Sánchez in the quarterfinals.

Dominating both overtime periods in a semifinal matchup against Paraguay, Venezuela was very unlucky to move to a penalty kick shootout where they ultimately lost.

Look for this talented group of youngsters to seriously contend for a spot in the 2014 World Cup.

35. Vahid Halilhodžić

During his roughly two-year tenure as manager of the Ivory Coast, Vahid Halilhodžić lost only a single game.  Rather unfairly, his single loss, a 3-2 Africa Cup of Nations quarterfinals loss to Algeria, led to his termination less than two months before the 2010 World Cup Finals.  Rather ironically, the former Yugoslovian international recently accepted the Algeria manager position. 

Under Halilhodžić's leadership, look for the Desert Foxes to both thrive in the Africa Cup of Nations as well as qualify for the 2014 World Cup.

34. Gerard Pique

Congratulations Gerard Pique on winning your second Champions League final this year.

However, I should note that the only reason the goofy Barcelona center-back made this list is because he began dating Shakira.  Well, I hope the man can dance...

33. Fernando Muslera

Most keepers would tell you that it is much easier to stop a 40-yard shot than it is to stop 12-yard shot.

Fernando Muslera would probably be the only keeper who would disagree.

In fact, he surrendered roughly 40-yard goals in consecutive games during the 2010 World Cup Finals.  However, by stopping two penalties against Ghana, he ensured his team's first semifinals berth in 40 years.

In the Copa America quarterfinals against host nation Argentina, Muslera once again discovered his superb penalty kick shootout form.  By blocking Carlos Tevez's shot, the former Lazio keeper once again secured Uruguay's passage to the semifinals.

32. Ayumi Kaihori

At roughly 5'5", Ayumi Kaihori is not your typical keeper. 

Nevertheless, the Japanese international held her own in the Women's World Cup against physically imposing sides including Germany, Sweden and the United States.

Coming up with some huge penalty kick saves in the Women's World Cup Final against the United States, Kaihori was hugely responsible for Japan's first World Cup victory.

31. Antonio Cassano

One of world football's top five bad guys, Antonio Cassano finally got his act together and impressed during his first season with AC Milan.

However, he still looks kind of fat.

30. Hamit Altintop

Winner of the 2010 FIFA Puskas Award for best goal of the season, the Turkey international and former Bayern Munich midfielder finally received some form of recognition for his countless contributions to both club and country.

Look for the box-to-box midfielder to thrive in limited minutes for new club Real Madrid.

29. Ibrahim Afellay and Thiago Alcântara

Dear Barcelona fans,

Despite a huge body of evidence which would suggest otherwise, we believe that Ibrahim Afellay and Thiago Alcântara are not ready for first-team football.  Instead, we would rather pay a ton of money we don't have to bring in Cesc Fàbregas and Alexis Sánchez.  When Cesc gets injured (as he most certainly will), we might consider using Afellay or Thiago.

Thank you for your understanding,

Sandro Rosell

28. Juan Agudelo

Drawing parallels to Freddy Adu and Jozy Altidore, 18-year-old American Juan Agudelo has demonstrated undeniable potential.

Unlike his predecessors, he might actually succeed.

Should the young striker continue to develop alongside Thierry Henry with the New York Red Bulls, look for him to make a big-money move to a top European side in the next couple of years.

27. Giovanni Dos Santos

As a loyal Yank, I hate Gio Dos Santos. 

However, I will admit that the Mexican international and former Barcelona starlet is really, really good.

Probably one of the top five most underrated players in Europe, I hope that he gets the chance to replace Alexis Sánchez at Udinese and strut his stuff in the Champions League.

26. Gareth Bale

The world's fourth-best player behind Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo and Wayne Rooney, Gareth Bale stunned football fans by scoring a second-half hat trick against Inter Milan in the group stage of the UEFA Champions League.  While Spurs lost the match, 4-3, they would advance to the elimination stages where the 22-year-old winger continued to impress.

Unlike teammate Luka Modric who has spent the whole summer whining for a move to a Champions League side, Bale has remained patient with manager Harry Redknapp and Tottenham.  While I hope he will eventually end up a Red Devil, I suspect he will lead Spurs to a top-four finish this season.

25. Neven Subotić

A former United States youth international, the stalwart Borussia Dortmund defender should be playing for the United States Men's National Team. 

However, after realizing that he actually could shut down opposing forwards with Nemanja Vidić-like range, manager Bob Bradley decided he would not fit in with the ragged bunch of misfits on the American backline and did not offer him a roster spot.

Well, now he's joined Vidić in representing Serbia.

Anyway, pairing with fellow Dortmund center-half Mats Hummels, Subotić marshaled a world-class defense which stymied opposing forwards and helped Die Borussen capture their first Bundesliga title in nearly a decade.

24. Adel Taarabt

The Football Championship player of the year, Adel Taarabt has a bright English Premier League future with Queen's Park Rangers (QPR)...if he chooses to stay. 

Apparently longing to be closer to his family in France, Taarabt has considered a move to Ligue 1 side PSG.  However, with QPR's billionaire owners promising to invest heavily in the club should the newly promoted side stay afloat this season, Taarabt could potentially lead his current side into the Champions League in three to four years time.

23. Raúl González

Left for dead by former by childhood club Real Madrid, Raúl was expected to retire quietly after a short spell with the New York Red Bulls of Major League Soccer. 

However, electing not to follow the path of Thierry Henry, the former Spanish international moved to Schalke and led the German side to an improbable berth in the Champions League semifinals.

While he won't have Champions League football this season, look for him to continue to prove that age is merely a number.

22. Stjarnan FC Players

An international sensation after their appearance on the ESPN program SportsCenter, the Stjarnan FC players are quite entertaining. 

However, I've found their celebrations to be less humorous than more spontaneous gestures such as Wayne Rooney's flipping the bird after scoring a goal against West Ham.

21. Peter Odemwingie

Like most of FIFA's initiatives, the international football governing body's anti-racism campaign has failed miserably.

The best evidence of this stems from an incident where Lokomotiv Moscow fans waved a banner featuring the words "Thanks WBA" and a picture of a banana after the Russian outfit sold Nigerian international and top player Peter Odemwingie to EPL side West Bromwich Albion.

Ignoring the blatant display of racism, Odemwingie surely made Lokomotiv fans miss him by scoring 15 EPL goals this season.

Here's to hoping the 30-year-old continues to succeed...

20. Sir Alex Ferguson

For much of his career, Sir Alex Ferguson gained respect amongst his EPL colleagues for winning a ridiculous number of league titles.

In the twilight stages of his managerial career, he has earned global credibility by leading his Manchester United side to three of the past four Champions League finals.

Sure, managers like Jose Mourinho and Pep Guardiola can win with supreme talent but only Fergie could endure the lost of both Cristiano Ronaldo and Carlos Tévez and lead his team back to the UEFA Champions League final in two years time.

19. Christie Rampone

Clearly the best defender throughout the Women's World Cup, 36-year-old American defender and captain Christie Rampone should expect a call from coach Bob Bradley. 

I hear he's looking for someone a little bit pacier to replace Carlos Bocanegra...

18. Leighton Baines

With seven goals and 12 assists, Leighton Baines was clearly the most influential defender in the English Premier League this past season. 

So, why is his name tossed around casually with the likes of Gaël Clichy and Wayne Bridge?

C'mon, show the man some respect!

17. Gokhan Inler

If you could be any animal, which one would you choose?

Swiss international and new Napoli signing Gokhan Inler made his choice quite clear by showing up to his introductory press conference wearing a lion mask.

Let's hope his performances in Serie A and the Champions League are as epic as his introduction.

16. Nemanja Vidić

Simply the best defender in the world, Nemanja Vidić was the only Manchester United player who impressed in the Red Devils' 3-1 Champions League final loss to Barcelona.

15. Abby Wambach

Had Abby Wambach not scored the latest goal in World Cup history with a 122nd-minute equalizer against Brazil in the quarterfinals, the United States Women's National Team would have recorded their lowest Women's World Cup finish ever. 

However, after scoring against Brazil, Wambach went on to score the winner against France in the semifinals and what should have been an extra-time winner against Japan in the final.

After Homare Sawa leveled with a 115th-minute equalizer for Japan in the final, Wambach had a glorious chance to score another late winner but placed her shot high and wide.

Despite never having won a Women's World Cup, Abby Wambach's 14 Women's World Cup goals put her amongst the best finishers of all time.

14. Ian Holloway

Reluctant to simply stick men behind the ball and defend against more technically skilled teams, Ian Holloway and his humble Blackpool side defied all expectations with a relentless commitment to attack. 

While the Seasiders were ultimately relegated on the final day of the season, his side's ferocious approach endeared Blackpool to many EPL supporters who will undoubtedly look for the Tangerines to make a swift return to top-flight football.

13. Justo Villar

After a sensational 2010 World Cup display, Justo Villar has continued to impress for Paraguay.  Making the necessary sensational saves to force a penalty shootout against Brazil in the Copa America quarterfinals, Villar made a smart penalty save to ensure Paraguay would advance to the semifinals.

Remaining solid in goal against an ascendant Venezuelan side in the semifinals, Villar once again produced some late-game heroics with a critical penalty shootout save which saw Paraguay advance to the finals.

12. Hope Solo

Absolutely brilliant in goal, especially against penalties, Hope Solo would appear to be an upgrade over Tim Howard on the Men's National Team.

I'm really only half-joking...

11. Paul Scholes

Wait a second...that's not Andres Iniesta.  It's Paul Scholes!

Finally retiring from professional football at 36, Scholesy makes this list for two reasons:

1) He scored 150 goals for United from midfield.

2) He didn't utter so much as peep about his performance.

A legendary footballer who truly allowed his actions to speak louder than his words, Paul Scholes will be remembered as one of the finest footballers in the history of the game.

10. Xherdan Shaqiri

The only player I've ever watched who emulates Lionel Messi's style of play, Xherdan Shaqiri is on the verge of stardom. 

Yet, despite impressing for FC Basel, the Swiss National Team and most recently with the Swiss U-21 side at the U-21 European Championship, the 19-year-old playmaker has generated virtually no hype.

Should Shaqiri complete a rumored move to Tottenham, I think Spurs would be more than capable of coping with the impending loss of Luka Modrić.

9. Nelson Haedo Valdez

Barcelona's only home defeat of the season came in a 2-0 loss at the hands of the recently promoted and eventually relegated Hercules.

Paraguayan international Nelson Valdez scored both goals.

8. Radamel Falcao

Setting a new UEFA Europa League scoring record by netting 17 times in only 14 matches, Colombian international Radamel Falcao decided he was happy enough at Porto to sign a massive contract extension.

How much would you like to bet that he demands to leave after next season after the Portuguese giants fail to rediscover their treble-winning form?

Nevertheless, Superman can flat-out play.

7. Luis Suárez

Unseating Thierry Henry as world football's Mr. Handball, Luis Suárez would have been a villain in last year's rankings. 

However, the Liverpool live wire has proven himself to be one of the very best in the game.  An influential playmaker who can both create and score, he amounts to twice the value of Fernando Torres for half the price.

His Copa America semifinal-winner against Peru and his Copa America final-winner against Paraguay were also pretty sweet.

6. Liverpool FC

Working together, new owner John W. Henry and new manager Kenny Dalglish rescued Liverpool from one of the most embarrassing stretches in club history. 

With Steven Gerrard returning from injury to join new arrivals Charlie Adam, Jordan Henderson and Stewart Downing, the retooled Liverpool side is definitely good enough to draw level with Manchester United at 19 league championships.

5. Julio Gómez

Winner of the U-17 World Cup Golden Ball, Julio Gomez will probably be feared by future opponents as "mummy" after his stunning semifinals performance against Germany.

Along with Silver Ball winner Jorge Espericueta and Bronze Ball winner Carlos Fierro, the 16-year-old should eventually combine quite nicely with Chicharito Hernández and Giovanni Dos Santos to form perhaps the most powerful Mexican side ever.

4. Javier "Chicharito" Hernández

Virtually unknown before last spring, Javier "Chicharito" Hernández endeared himself to football fans by scoring a remarkable 21 goals in his first season with new club Manchester United. 

With the ability to somehow slip 20 yards behind the last defender without being offside, the 23-year-old Mexican continued his run of good form by scoring seven goals in six appearances for Mexico at the 2011 Gold Cup.

Costing Man U manager Sir Alex Ferguson roughly £8 million, Chicharito has proven himself to be one of the best bargains of the millennium.

3. Lionel Messi

A picture truly does say a thousand words.

2. Souleymane Coulibaly

A very good attacker scores about once every other game.

A truly world-class attacker scores roughly once every game.

So what would we call a striker who averages more than two goals per game?

I don't think we have a term just yet, but we'll have to figure some way of describing Ivorian striker Souleymane Coulibaly who scored nine goals in only four matches during the U-17 World Cup.

Dubbed the next Didier Drogba, the 16-year-old is primarily a poacher.  Nevertheless, he should develop nicely at his new club Tottenham and will probably eventually save manager Harry Redknapp's job.

1. Homare Sawa

Already immensely popular throughout Japan, central-midfielder Homare Sawa galvanized her sterling reputation by scoring an extra-time equalizer against the United States in the 2011 Women's World Cup final.

With her team proceeding to win the subsequent penalty shootout, the 33-year-old central-midfielder finished as winner of both the Golden Ball and Golden Boot trophies.

While I honestly thought that fate would gift the Yanks with a third Women's World Cup victory, Sawa fittingly delivered the Japanese their finest football victory.