NBA Playoffs 2011: Top 10 Reasons Miami Hates the Chicago Bulls

Well, since the NBA decided to take a week to play three games, we have a bit of down time on our hands.

While sitting back stewing on the dreadful showing in Game 1, I came to realize that I can't stand the Chicago Bulls or their fans either. I'm pretty sure most of Miami would agree with me too.

With that in mind, I came up with the top ten reasons "I Hate the Chicago Bulls," besides the obvious they beat us in Game 1 and will cry when we eliminate them in Game 6.

With no further delay, "I now give you tonight's top ten from our home office" in sunny South Florida.

10. Tom Thibodeau reminds me of Dr. Evil, while Kyle Korver looks like Ashton Kutcher—I'd like to punch both.

9. They drafted Eddy Curry and Tyson Chandler instead of Pau Gasol.

8. They now act as though they weren't dying to have LeBron James and Dwyane Wade, when they would have traded Rose if they could have signed them.

7. Taj Gibson acts like he lost his virginity because he dunked on Wade. Never mind that he is six freaking inches taller and had a running start, while Wade was planted and looking away.

6. They get more offensive rebounds in one quarter than we do all game.

5. Because Michael Jordan isn't their team president...Then they would have had Kwame Brown instead of Chandler or Curry, because MJ would have traded picks two and four to move up to one and get Kwame again.

4. Their fans are some of the most obnoxious and rude in the league by chanting obscenities that can be heard on TV—this despite countless kids tuning in or in attendance. They are also on average the fattest fans in the NBA, which makes me wonder how they curse or clap despite having their mouths stuffed while holding a hot dog in each hand. Stay classy, Chicago.

3. Derrick Rose has Tyrannosaurus Rex arms and it looks freaky.

2. But not as freaky as Joakim Noah's likeness to the Predator with its mask off.

1. And the number one reason why I hate the Chicago Bulls:

The President lied and still allows water boarding...but only for referees that call fouls on Chicago.