The Underwhelming: The Anti-Gus Johnson Play-by-Play Calls

Pat Summerall, known more for working with John Madden than anything else, does not have a signature call. The most memorable call of his career was Marcus Allen's 74-yard run in Superbowl XVIII. His minimalist style of announcing makes Gus Johnson seem like a raving lunatic.

When you search Summerall on YouTube the most significant call is the last play of the 1987 NFC Championship game. (You have to sift through the Marcus Allen clips to find one with Summerall's voice on it.) It's the last play of the game between Washington and Minnesota and ends with an incomplete pass.

Summerall, in his matter-of-fact style, says, "Nelson! Through his hands and the Redskins will go to the Superbowl." 

Here is a look at some of the most underwhelming calls in sports.

Jerry West AKA Mr. Clutch AKA "He Makes It"?

The Logo at his finest.

I think the reason this shot doesn't get enough play is it's lack of a memorable call. It would get played every Playoffs if the Lakers had Johnny Most. ("Havlicek stole the ball!") I understand the shot was not a game-winner but it was in the Finals and it was over half-court.

My contention is the announcer is as shocked as the balding gentleman in the front row. He tried to make up for it when his shock dissipated but the window closed. If LeBron James made that shot the haters would chalk it up to luck and not skill but it was not LeBrick, it was Mr. Clutch.

(Side note: Is there a nickname better than Mr. Clutch? You know, besides The Logo.) Let's transition from one championship moment to another.

Top 5 Superbowl. Top 5 Play. Bottom 5 Call.

Bigger one-hit wonder: David Tyree or Chumbawamba?

Maybe this is the reason all the New York Giant fans I know hate Joe Buck. There is no excuse for a lack of screaming. The biggest reason I can come up with for him not yelling is, he is disappointed and angry.

The reason I say that is because his "Do you believe in miracles"-esque line for an undefeated Patriots season is close to becoming useless. That or he didn't want to offend booth partner and notorious Giant-hater Troy Aikman. (NYG fans are nodding.) My line for an undefeated Patriots season:

"Hey '72 Dolphins, they're not on your block, they're on your doorstep."

This play would be known as "The Play that Killed Gus Johnson" if Gus were calling the game because his head would've exploded, twice. Speaking of Gus Johnson...

The Most Underwhelming Game-Winning Gus Johnson Call of All Time

Where's the Gus I know and love?

The guy who has his own YouTube audio montage of him screaming can't give us a little more? But I don't care, I couldn't write a play-by-play countdown without a Gus Johnson segment. However, I could do an entire countdown of Gus Johnson moments. It wouldn't be a top 10 either, it would be a top 50.

Gus is the man. He could make a 10-year-old boys' basketball game watchable. Little Johnny could pull up for a 15-foot push shot/air ball and Gus would still scream, "Rise and fire!" He should replace announcers in every sports video game. (He's the new voice in Madden and it's fantastic.) The only announcer who can touch his excitement is the Mexican soccer announcer who screams "GOAL!" for minutes after somebody puts it in the back of the net.

It's too bad the Knicks were awful during his tenure as their play-by-play guy. It's hard to get up for a game when your team is 40 games under .500. But, how about getting up for a Superbowl moment? (Even if you are the losing team's announcer.)

And the Award for Most Disappointed Announcer/Homer Goes To...

Playoff Peyton Manning is not as clutch as regulas-season Peyton Manning.

If you were unfortunate enough to be a Colts' fan and listening/not watching Superbowl XLIV than this clip will give you flashbacks. (I've worked during a Superbowl and it is awful.) Bob Lamey, the voice of the Colts, sounds like he wants to off himself before Porter even crosses the goal line.

I give a pass to most home-team announcers and I give one to him here. It has to be tough to realize "the best quarterback in the NFL" is really "the best regular-season quarterback in the NFL" in this fashion.

The only reason the late Ron Santo doesn't replace Bob Lamey in this countdown is because his shouts of "NO!" anytime the Cubs screw up, which is quite often, are OVERwhelming. If Ron Santo were calling a game with this next home-team announcer, he would fire him on the spot for "conduct detrimental to the fans."

Forget Underwhelming, Can We at Least Know What Happened?

Michael Beasley can't even praise from his own team's announcer.

Alan Horton is the man responsible for this travesty. Maybe Michael Beasley rubbed him the wrong way or slept with his daughter but you still have to call the game, right? His partner literally has to tell him, "That was big time."

For Minnesota fans who think Kevin Love won't leave town the first chance he gets, this isn't helping. Play the clip, minimize the window and try to guess what happens by the audio. Maybe he's mad he's in Minnesota, too. This next announcer seems to have somewhere better to be because he mentally checked out.

"It's Chaos in Foxboro!"

Yeah, I don't watch high school basketball either.

I can't tell if this guy is seriously excited or mocking the viewers. Either he thinks he's above this high school basketball game or he's thinking about making a career change. This is not the clip you want in your resume if you're a play-by-play guy. I might start saying he throws up a prayer and it's gooood when I want to be somewhere else.

As in, "Sean, are you not having fun at my mother's house?"

"She throws up a prayer and it's gooooood."

For this next one, we'll up the distance, the crowd noise and the difficulty. Let's see how the announcer does.

This Is Not the Way to Fake Enthusiasm

It's just a 90-foot football throw to win the game.

Let's add this to the conversation from the last clip.

"Sean, are you not having fun at my mother's house?"

"She throws up a prayer and it's gooooood."

"Very funny."

"You made it, woooooo."

Now we go from two broadcasters who won't be moving up in their play-by-play careers to one who shouldn't have tried.

"And That Happened."

"It's a yellow and blue count."

How do you fake enthusiasm when you don't know what's going on? What is this guy doing in the booth? Who gave him a microphone? How has this guy not had a web redemption on "Tosh.0"? I will give him credit, he's better than the "Boom Goes the Dynamite" guy.  My favorite part is when he says, "let's see what happens when the person pitching starts off the inning." Let's finish off the conversation from the last two clips.

"Sean, are you not having fun at my mother's house?"

"She throws up a prayer and it's gooooood."

"Very funny."

"You made it, woooooo."

"Go (insert expletive here) yourself Sean."

"And that happened."

For the final clip we go from people who should never have been in an announcer's booth to a person who should never have tried to replace a legend.

Honorable Mention: Reason Number 478 to Hate Drew Carey

Long live Bob Barker.

Are you kidding me? You take over a legendary show and this is how you thank Bob Barker. He guessed it "right on the button" and you act like it's no big deal. Also, you don't even know when the last time it happened?

You would think the producers would make sure he knew that fact. The "Price is Right", like this countdown, is dead and you killed Drew Carey.