Tommy Lasorda's Top 15 Funniest Quotes

The following list is in no particular order.

•Guys ask me, don't I get burned out? How can you get burned out doing something you love? I ask you, have you ever got tired of kissing a pretty girl?

•I believe managing is like holding a dove in your hand. If you hold it too tightly you kill it, but if you hold it too loosely, you lose it.

•I love doubleheaders. That way I get to keep my uniform on longer.

•Listen, if you start worrying about the people in the stands, before too long you're up in the stands with them.

•My theory of hitting was just to watch the ball as it came in and hit it.

•No, we don't cheat. And even if we did, I'd never tell you.

•The only way I'd worry about the weather is if it snows on our side of the field and not theirs.

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•There are three types of baseball players: those who make it happen, those who watch it happen, and those who wonder what happens.

•When we win, I'm so happy I eat a lot. When we lose, I'm so depressed, I eat a lot. When we're rained out, I'm so disappointed I eat a lot.

•All last year we tried to teach him, Fernando Valenzuela, English, and the only word he learned was "million."

•I was glad to see Italy win. All the guys on the team were Italians.

•My wife tells me "I think you love baseball more than me." I say, "Well, I guess that's true, but hey, I love you more than football and hockey."

•If he raced his pregnant wife he'd finish third. (Regarding catcher Mike Scioscia.)

•Nobody has to tell Frank Sinatra he is a good singer and nobody has to tell me that I am a good manager.

•I walk into the clubhouse and it's like walking into the Mayo Clinic. We have four doctors, three therapists, and five trainers. Back when I broke in, we had one trainer who carried a bottle of rubbing alcohol and by the seventh inning he had drunk it all.