NFL CBA Needs a Fan Rep: Here Are Our Top 10 Demands!
Let's call the NFL's Collective Bargaining Agreement negotiations what they really are: What we have are filthy rich owners meeting with not-quite-as rich players so they can come to terms about how to divide up all of the money that we, the fans, continue to throw at them.
I know it is a bit more complicated, but really—at the core—this is exactly what is happening.
So why do the fans not have a representative at the bargaining table?
The NFL players have representatives, and the owners surely are represented. There is nobody at these talks representing the fans' best interests.
I nominate me.
So, as I represent the NFL fans, players and owners take notice. Here are the NFL Fans Association's list of top 10 demands we want satisfied in the new collective bargaining agreement.
NFL Fans Want a 50% Jersey Return Policy When Players are Cut or Traded
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Go ahead and check.
There are about five different types of NFL jerseys on the market. There are the cheap versions you can buy at Wal-Mart for about $25. These have a number ironed on the front and back and a last name ironed on the back. There are no numbers on the shoulders and very rarely do you find a logo.
Take a step up and you find the authentic looking jerseys that are completely ironed on. These jerseys look like the real thing, but they have all ironed on numbers, name and logos. One can buy something like this at most nicer sports retail stores. At NFL stadiums, these jerseys typically sell between $65-$80.
A couple of levels up from this, you'll find the game authentic versions. These are beautiful. Everything is exactly as the players wear on the field. The name, numbers and logos are all sewn on. These jerseys are heavy, believe it or not; they feel substantial in one's hand. They are also astronomically expensive—these jerseys can cost between $150 and $350, depending on the size.
Don't get me started on the throwbacks. Wow. Mucho bucks!
So what happens when we drop big-time bucks on a couple of these per season?
One of the worst things, especially for parents, is when the team lets you plop down that money and then less than a season or a year later, they cut or trade that player. You can bet the Philadelphia Eagles still have Kevin Kolb's jerseys for full price at the stadium store. They had Donovan McNabb's right until the day he was traded to the Redskins.
What happens to the poor schmucks who laid down hundreds for McNabb jerseys the day before he was traded? Or what happens to the parent who brought their kid to see Kevin Kolb, only to have to plop down more money to buy the Vick jerseys two games into the season? We lose.
Now, if they trade Kolb, my son will probably not want to wear the green and black Eagles jerseys that cost $130 at training camp. Not to mention, Terrell Owens jerseys are a complete story unto themselves.
We fans demand a 50 percent return policy.
If a player is traded or cut within 12 months of the date on our purchase receipts, we are refunded 50 percent of the cost of the jersey. The return policy should be in effect for number changes as well.
I know LeSean McCoy likes the No. 25, but man, we had just spent $65 on the No. 29 jersey a couple months prior.
We understand about career-ending injuries and other situations that are under nobody's real control. Retirements are also understandable.
We do ask for a Favre exception. If at any point he comes back for another team, Vikings fans should receive an immediate 100 percent refund.
Okay, CBA negotiators—we fans are just getting started.
NFL Fans are Overpaying for Inferior Pre-Season Product! We Want Cheaper Tickets
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Try being a season ticket holder.
These folks are true fans. I'm not talking about the corporations who pay for the suites, I'm talking about people like my wife's family. They have held eight Bears season tickets since the Bears played in Wrigley Field.
They must purchase ALL of the tickets—it is a 10-game plan. This includes two preseason games per year.
In fact, anybody who purchases a preseason ticket is paying full price. Yet, the teams are playing all the kids who are trying to make their way onto a team. I get it. I'm a realistic guy. This is necessary so the coaches can evaluate talent, and I have absolutely no problem with that at all.
But why do they have to evaluate that talent at full price?
Why can't preseason games be 25 percent of the cost of the regular season, since we rarely get 25 percent of the players we actually came to watch?
I just don't understand why I have to pay hundreds of dollars to come see Joe whatshisname play quarterback for the New England Patriots when there is that other guy on the sidelines. I think his name is Brady.
Oh, and while we're on the subject of lower cost preseason games—if you're going to make me come see someone other than Michael Vick play for the Eagles next preseason—you better make my beer less expensive too!
Oh, yeah—owners and players—we, the fans, are marching!
NFL Fans Want Some of the Same Love the Corporations Get. Name a Stadium!
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Collectively—and to be honest, I am only guessing here—I would estimate that we fans spend more money than the corporations.
Therefore, in honor of the fans and all of our collective money, we request that each stadium, once per season, choose a fan at random and name the stadium after him or her for that one game.
That would be a way that the NFL could show the fans some love and say thank you for all of the big-time money we keep pouring their way—even when the product can sometimes be inferior.
I can hear the announcer now.
"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Winston LaFontaine Dome for today's game between the Atlanta Falcons and the New Orleans Saints. Please enjoy your time here in New Orleans."
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.jpg?w=256 "Colts Jaguars Football")
NFL Players Need to be More Accesible to the Fans. Within Reason Of Course.
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When I was a kid, my mother would take me to Wrigley Field to watch the Chicago Cubs. I used to be so excited to go, and the main reason wasn't so much the game. To be honest, I much preferred watching the games on television and waiting for Jack Brickhouse to yell, "Hey hey, a home run!" on WGN.
No, what I was most excited about was the little table that the Cubs would set up somewhere in the stadium on the first floor by a hot dog vendor. That table was what I was looking for. I wasn't the only one either. A bunch of other kids would be waiting too. Because before each and every Cubs game, a player or two would sit for a while at that little folding table on a folding chair, answering questions and signing autographs.
To this day, I remember meeting the Cubs' Ivan DeJesus. What a thrill! Don't get me started on Rick Monday.
These days, we fans get the rare chance at training camp to see a player for free and get an autograph. Most of the time, we have to pay some memorabilia store an ungodly amount of money just to get an autograph.
We fans will make a concession in this eBay world.
We don't have to pay to get in those lines if we ask you to address the autograph to us personally.
Really. Stop making us shell out tons of money every time we just want to meet a player.
We NFL Fans Understand Reasons For Late Games, But...
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...has anybody thought of the kids?
Or for that matter, the East Coast adults?
This past season, I can remember no less than seven weeks that my son had to either go to bed early on a school night or fall asleep watching a game. Nearly half of the time, he was not able to see the entire game.
He is the single biggest reason that my family spends an ungodly amount of money on NFL merchandise, and he is the person in our household getting hit the hardest by all of these late games!
Come on, NFL.
Here on the East Coast, we are sometimes watching football games past midnight when we need to be at school or at work in a few hours.
I watch the NFL Network when they show the teams in the locker rooms after games that they win and those coaches always seem to give the players the next couple pf days off. "See ya Wednesday!" is often followed by a boisterous round of applause from the players.
The NFL forces us fans to stay up very late because it is a revenue-driven business—but we don't get to stay in bed Monday, Friday or Tuesday mornings.
So, we NFL fans have another demand for the CBA talks.
We understand completely that the NFL must do this—the TV revenue is too valuable.
But offer the games online on the NFL website the very next day for free. Heck, make it so we can't circumvent the commercials, I don't care. Not all of us have DVRs yet.
That way, your future fan base can actually watch your product.
If you want, NFL, incorporate the Play 60 campaign. Make a kid pledge to Play 60 and reward him or her with free game replays. That will really show that the NFL is committed to beating childhood obesity. You'd be saying, "Okay, if you want to sit at this computer and watch a game, you have to first go play a game." Granted, this will be on an honor system...but I truly believe most people are honest.
However you do it, please make those games available to us, the members of your fanbase who actually need to sleep.
An 18-Game Schedule? Ok, But is That Going to Cut into Our Training Camp?
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NFL training camp.
The last great place where a family can see professional players for next to nothing.
Imagine spending a few hours leisurely watching a team practice. Imagine getting to receive autographs and not being charged one penny. Watching your favorite players run, catch, block and tackle is really a great experience.
I personally believe Eagles training camp is one of the reasons my son is the football nut he is.
He loves it, and we go nearly everyday when the Eagles train in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania at Lehigh University. This past camp, he met David Akers, Brent Celek, Riley Cooper (and they exchanged compliments about their hair), Omar Gaither, DeSean Jackson and yes, he even met Michael Vick (who was very friendly, I'd like to add).
Now the NFL wants to go to an 18-game season.
Okay, but please let myself and the rest of the NFL fans know—how is that going to affect preseason? Is the season going to start earlier? Are we still going to get a healthy dose of preseason training camp? And for that matter, how are you going to sell us on this being the best product you can offer us if the season does not start early? Are we going to get inferior games at full cost? Are these just going to be preseason level games that count?
We NFL fans want to know.
This May Sound Like a Rant, but We NFL Fans Also Would Like to Keep Some Things
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The real fanatics, like me (someone who would take time out of his day to write this article) are just fine with hours and hours of pregame shows. We are just fine with endless analyzing. We are just fine with everybody and their brother and former roommates making predictions.
Keep that.
In fact, while you are negotiating, do you think you can add a few hours before and after?
Is there any way you can talk to the real powers that be and get us an additional couple hours in each day?
Who makes the decisions on that? I imagine it is a group of old men wearing odd hats in some undisclosed location. If you are reading this, old men in odd hats, can we go to a 26-hour day to include more football pregame and postgame shows?
Thanks.
And when I say real fanatics, I mean fanatic. I mean nothing against the average fan. There are levels. The NFL fan base is like an onion. We have layers.
If You're Going to Charge $25 for Parking One Car for Five Hours...
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Parking is incredibly expensive at NFL games.
To park for an Eagles game, we shell out $25. Now, we would love to tailgate, but we just don't really know a lot of people, as we are displaced Chicagoans. So, I understand charging folks who come in at five in the morning and set up a camp. I get it. I would bet that the tailgaters don't really have a problem with the cost. For them, it is actually a deal unless they are taking up four or five spots—then it gets pricey.
But we unfortunate non-tailgaters would like "parking only" lots where we don't have to pony up so much money just to let our car sit for five hours.
If you have to charge us $25, can we have a car wash to drive through as we are leaving the lot?
Believe me, the traffic moves slow enough that we could all get our cars washed as some small little perk for having just shelled out a quarter of a hundred dollars for the privilege to drive to a game.
We NFL Fans Would Like to Have Monday Off After the Super Bowl.
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These days, a lot of families have more guests at their house on Super Bowl Sunday than they do on Thanksgiving.
Put simply—it is a big day.
We plan vacations around the Super Bowl. We prepare. We get to the grocery store and buy our Super Bowl napkins and plates (I really do have Super Bowl 45 napkins in my kitchen right now).
We're tired on the Monday after.
We want that day off—a national holiday.
Roger Goodell, please make it happen.
Thank you.
And Finally, Show Us Fans Some Respect By Coming to a New Agreement Now
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Sometimes, a little gesture goes a long way.
You players and owners jack up prices every year. And yeah, we fans keep paying it. We allow it to continue by not boycotting you. You have a great product and for the most part, you do a great job with it. This article was for fun even if there were a few jabs.
But here is one serious request.
I'm just a little tired of the same commercials and such telling me how great you guys are. I'm glad you are fighting childhood obesity—really. But those NFL Network commercials telling us that NFL coaches want us to watch NFL Network are getting old.
I'd like to see some commercials where owners and players get in front of cameras and say that they have decided that the fans are too important to punish by having a lockout or a strike or any stoppage whatsoever.
I want to see a commercial with Goodell standing in the middle as they announce over and over again that they worked tirelessly, without sleep—without breaks—to come to a new collective bargaining agreement so that we fans don't have to worry about that in our lives. We get very few real pleasures in the real world and for us NFL fans, football is one of them.
It doesn't rate with watching our kids play a game or draw a picture, but we love our football and we would like to be shown some appreciation for our years of loyal spending by being told that you did not rest until you made sure we would have our game without interruption.
That is how you can really show us you care about the fanbase.
Really—make it happen. We love your product, but we can find alternatives. Let's not make it come to that.
Thank you for your consideration.
The NFL fans have spoken—I hope you are listening (especially to this last part).
Remember what happened when the MLB tried to screw with us? We aren't patient. We can, and will, find other things.
I hear that the NCAA has some great things happening. Maybe we'll have to invest our money there. Or maybe we'll just go on a family vacation rather than saving all of that extra money for NFL games.
I'm just saying...
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.jpg?w=480 "Colts Jaguars Football")
