Super Bowl XLV, Christina Aguilera, Black Eyed Peas and the Swagger Buzz
Super Bowl XLV, Christina Aguilera and the Black Eyed Peas all took turns lighting up the headlines on Super Sunday, and those of us with our hands at the B/R Swagger controls reaped the benefits.
Obviously, the fates of the three were intertwined at Cowboys Stadium on Sunday, but it suffices to say that the relationship was not exactly beneficial across the board.
Super Bowl XLV itself was a pretty good success, as the Green Bay Packers and Pittsburgh Steelers gave us a Super Bowl that was plenty entertaining. It may not have lived up to all the hype, but there was still plenty of satisfaction to be had in the Packers' 31-25 win.
Christina Aguilera and the Black Eyed Peas, on the other hand, did not fair so well. If you were anywhere near a TV monitor or an internet browser on Sunday, then you're probably well aware of how badly she butchered the Star-Spangled Banner in her rendition of the National Anthem before the game.
The Black Eyed Peas had to wait until halftime to put their reputation on the line, but their fail was just as epic.
Indeed, it was a fine day to be a Swagger writer. And you know what that means, right?
Of course you do. It means that you're in for plenty of good readin'.
Enjoy.
Christina Aguilera: Worst. National Anthem. Ever.
1 of 9Christina Aguilera Butchers the Star-Spangled Banner in Front of Millions of Americans
Singing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl is obviously a rather huge honor, and there's probably not a singer on earth who wouldn't surrender an arm and a leg for the opportunity to do so.
This year, the honor went to pop superstar Christina Aguilera. And about halfway through her rendition of The Star-Spangled Banner, it was obvious that she was in the midst of a history-making performance.
It's still a little early, but I'm going to go ahead and say right here and now that Christina Aguilera has performed the worst National Anthem in the history of American sports.
Harsh words, to be sure. But unfortunately for her, they are also well-deserved.
First of all, and this is a point that has been dwelt upon pretty heavily all over the internets, she forgot one of the freakin' lyrics. It's not "what so proudly we watched," my dear. It's "o'er the ramparts we watched."
Secondly, if one is going to botch the National Anthem, one could at least do it while singing in key. This is something she struggled to do, and it was downright painful to listen to.
Nevertheless, I'm willing to forgive Christina. I am, after all, a reasonable man.
However, there are just some things you should avoid doing in the state of Texas, and one of them is sullying the National Anthem. In other words, it's not me she should be worried out.
Black Eyed Peas: Reviewing the Black Eyed Peas' Super Bowl XLV Halftime Show
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Black Eyed Peas Offer Up Hit-And-Miss Halftime Performance (Mainly Miss)
I don't think it would be too much of a stretch to say that recent Super Bowl halftime shows have been pretty forgettable. And when I say "forgettable," I mean that they sucked pretty hard.
Indeed, this is what happens when you decide to play it safe, as the NFL pretty much had to do after the infamous Janet Jackson nipple slip at Super Bowl XXXVIII. Since then, we've been graced with the tired old acts of The Rolling Stones, Prince, Tom Petty, Bruce Springsteen and The Who.
Things probably reached rock bottom with last year's performance by The Who, as it was just painfully obvious that these poor, over-the-hill Britishers had absolutely no business being at the Super Bowl.
As such, it was time for a youth movement, and the NFL delivered in the form of the Black Eyed Peas.
It was apparent from the start of their performance that they were going for something new. They bore fully electronic, Tron-esque costumes, and were soon joined on stage by the likes of Slash and Usher. The whole thing lasted about 10 minutes, during which they took the audience on a ride through their biggest hits.
Personally, I've never been a huge fan of the Black Eyed Peas, as I've always thought their music to be rather overproduced and way too simple-minded. Unfortunately, things like these don't go away in live performances, and this was certainly the case here.
Nonetheless, even if the music was pretty lame, the spectacle of the whole thing was without a doubt impressive, and I think the Black Eyed Peas deserve some credit for crafting a halftime show that will likely prove to at least be somewhat memorable.
As such, I say bravo. And on balance, after watching the show, I feel comfortable in saying that whoever is tabbed to play halftime next year has a hard act to follow.
I would now like to go on record in saying that it should be The Black Keys.
Alex Rodriguez: A-Rod and Cameron Diaz Caught in Awkward Moment at Super Bowl
3 of 9Alex Rodriguez and Cameron Diaz Caught Performing Weird Feeding Ritual
When it comes to celebrities at sporting events, the Super Bowl is what it would be like if somebody took the Staples Center and turned it up to 11.
Not everyone is going to get that reference, but the point is that there were quite a few celebrities on hand at Cowboys Stadium to watch the Green Bay Packers and Pittsburgh Steelers butt heads in Super Bowl XLV.
And yes, each and every one of them has gotten some screen time.
One of the more humorous moments, as you can see in the above video, involved New York Yankees third baseman and his movie star girlfriend, Cameron Diaz.
Coming on the heels of a shot of John Madden texting (gasp!), A-Rod was shown having popcorn shoved in his mouth by his lovely lady, prompting Joe Buck to humorously note that they had clearly caught him at a bad time.
That may be true. Nevertheless, if something like this had to happen, it somehow makes perfect sense that it happened to A-Rod.
Doesn't it?
You don't have to answer that, of course. Instead, why don't we just delight in the never-ending theater of buffoonery that is Alex Rodriguez.
.jpg?w=256 "Colts Jaguars Football")
Salvatore Giunta: Medal of Honor Recipient Honored at Super Bowl XLV
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Salvatore Giunta Is the First Living Recipient of the Medal of Honor Since the Vietnam War
Plenty of legends were born in today's Super Bowl XLV matchup between the Green Bay Packers and Pittsburgh Steelers, and those who ended up with their hands on the Lombardi Trophy when all was said and done will inevitably be labeled as "heroes" in certain parts of Wisconsin (if not all of it).
But the biggest hero on the field on Sunday at Cowboys Stadium was not wearing either team's colors, nor was he in pads. In fact, he was there for what he had done in service of certain other colors.
This would be U.S. Army Staff Sergeant Salvatore Giunta, who was awarded the Medal of Honor by President Obama back in November. He is the first living recipient of the award since the Vietnam War, and he was a guest of honor today at Super Bowl XLV.
Needless to say, Staff Sergeant Giunta received a very warm welcome, as fans were standing and clapping all across the 100,000-seat stadium.
And for good reason. Staff Sergeant Giunta received the Medal of Honor for his actions in Afghanistan in late October of 2007. His squad was ambushed by a formidable group of insurgents. Enemy fire struck his body armor, but he continued to return fire while attempting to reach soldiers that had detached from the rest of the unit.
He was in charge of a small team that came to the aid of a few wounded soldiers, but he also broke off from the group on his own initiative to reach another soldier that was in need of aid, who he found being carried off by two insurgents.
Giunta engaged both of them, killing one and wounding the other. He then provided medical aid to his wounded comrade.
When it was over, the enemy ambush had been defeated.
Truly, an amazing story. And his appearance at the Super Bowl was a truly emotional moment, not to mention a well-deserved honor.
Black Eyed Peas: Black Eyed Peas Become Latest Super Bowl Halftime Show Failure
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Black Eyed Peas Did Their Best, But Their Super Bowl Halftime Show Will Go In the Books As a Failure
Let's face it, when it comes to Super Bowl halftime shows, one little article just doesn't cut it.
This has a lot to do with the fact that, for whatever reason, Super Bowl halftime shows are kind of a necessary evil. We get one every year, and it has pretty much become a given that whoever goes out there to perform is going to suck.
This has been particularly true over the last decade or so, during which we've been graced with forgettable performances from over-the-hill rockers like The Rolling Stones and Bruce Springsteen. In fact, the only really memorable halftime show was the one in which the whole world was exposed to one of Janet Jackson's boobs.
On Sunday, it was the Black Eyed Peas' turn. And despite the fact I gave it my best shot to defend them in my initial review, it became more and more apparent that their highly-stylized halftime performance was actually quite hollow.
As many people around the internets have already opined, their music, which is mediocre as it is, really didn't translate well on stage. They did their best to dress up the whole thing by bringing out Slash and Usher and by parading around in funky outfits, but nothing could hide the fact that they were just there to pass the time.
Truth be told, there were enough pretty images to at least hold my attention, which is probably why I chose to gave them the benefit of the doubt. But even I forgot what exactly transpired, which obviously is not a good thing.
Ultimately, the Black Eyed Peas' halftime performance is yet another failure in the long, sad history of Super Bowl halftime shows. They may be a necessary evil, but you honestly have to wonder how long it will be before enough is finally enough (if we're not already there, of course).
Unfortunately, the notion that there might come a day when there will not be an overblown Super Bowl halftime show is probably nothing more than a delightful pipe dream. Alas, there's just no way in hell that the TV execs are going to risk sacrificing a few extra viewers just because us football fans are tired of having our time wasted at halftime.
As such, I'm afraid we have no choice but to take it, like it and then bitch about it on a proper public forum like Twitter. We are, after all, serious people.
Slash: Guns N' Roses Guitarist Adds Nothing to Black Eyed Peas' Halfttime Show
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Slash Arises from Stage at Halftime, Proceeds To Be Old
A few short minutes after the book had closed on the Black Eyed Peas' Super Bowl halftime show, I did indeed do my level best to put a positive spin on the whole thing, despite the fact that every indication seemed to be that it was a king-hell debacle.
In doing so, all I really had to say about Slash, the ex-guitarist of Guns N' Roses, was that he was there.
But several hours after Slash emerged from a trap door in the stage and proceeded to inject a whole lot of extraneous age into the whole show, I wasn't too sure.
Indeed, was he actually there?
I mean, I knew he was there in body, which was disturbing enough in its own right. But I'm not so sure he was there in spirit, as all he seemed to do was stand there and look old and weird while Fergie paraded around him like some kind of drugged-up nymph.
That's rock 'n' roll, you say?
Erroneous. What I saw on the stage at halftime was not rock 'n' roll. It was crappy pop music that just happened to have a rock guitarist attached to it. And the whole scene was an embarrassment from start to finish, even if it took certain slow-minded individuals like myself a little while to realize it.
Well, that may not be rock 'n' roll, but it's sure as hell halftime at the Super Bowl.
So it goes. Here's hoping things don't get any worse in next year's halftime show.
Roger Staubach: Dallas Cowboys Great Presents Lombardi Trophy to Packers
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Roger Staubach, for the Record, Has Nothing To Do with the Green Bay Packers Organization
Super Bowl XLV ended with the Green Bay Packers coming away with the win, as they defeated the Pittsburgh Steelers by a final score of 31-25.
As FOX broadcaster Joe Buck so adequately put it, the Lombardi Trophy is coming home.
Nevertheless, the manner in which the Lombardi Trophy was handed over to the Packers organization had a lot of people scratching their heads, as it was presented to the Packers by Roger Staubach, the great Hall of Fame quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys.
While Staubach may very well be a Hall of Famer and a fine ambassador for the NFL, the question is obviously why it was him presenting the Lombardi Trophy and not somebody like, say, Bart Starr.
One supposes that the venue must have something to do with it, as it makes sense that Jerry Jones would push for a Cowboys great to play some kind of major role in the proceedings at Cowboys Stadium. But of course, that's just a theory, and your humble narrator has no intentions whatsoever of starting any kind of controversy.
If I wanted to do that, I'd start spouting a bunch of conspiracy theories about the subspace highway that the devil uses to get inside Al Davis' head.
But I digress. The point is that the whole exchange just felt a little awkward, and all involved parties seem to realize it as well.
Oh well. It was a good Super Bowl, and you get the sense that a good portion of the country is more than thrilled by the fact that the Packers were able to come away victorious. And that's what the Super Bowl is all about.
Aaron Rodgers: Super Bowl XLV MVP Achieves Something Old Man Favre Never Could
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Aaron Rodgers Brushes Off Brett Favre's Shadow in Style
If he wasn't already, Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers is at long last free of the ever-nagging specter of Brett Favre.
Moreover, in leading his team to a win over the Pittsburgh Steelers in Super Bowl XLV, Rodgers accomplished something that Favre never could: earn the Super Bowl MVP award.
I believe "Huzzahs!" are in order.
Indeed, and Rodgers is most definitely deserving of the title, as he paced the Packers offense with 304 yards passing and three touchdown.
Back in Super Bowl XXXI against the New England Patriots, Old Man Favre (then not so old) threw for 246 yards and two touchdowns, but he was not named the Super Bowl MVP. That honor went to Desmond "I-Don't-Take-No-Crap-From-Phil-Simms" Howard, who scored the game-clinching touchdown on a 99-yard kickoff return.
Like Favre used to be, Rodgers can now officially be counted among the upper echelon of NFL quarterbacks; he's right up there with Peyton Manning and Tom Brady, and his future is undoubtedly brighter than either of theirs.
Yes sir, make no mistake, this is just the beginning for the third-year quarterback out of Cal (who, by the way, is the first Golden Bear QB to ever win a Super Bowl). As long as the Packers have him under center, they're going to be very good for years to come.
It should be fun to watch. And with a big of luck, maybe we'll see Rodgers and the Pack in the Super Bowl next year.
Meanwhile, we'll probably see Favre in a courthouse at some point in 2011, and that should be fun too.
Puppy Bowl VII: Packers Dominate Super Bowl, But Puppy Bowl Dominates Internet
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Puppy Bowl VII Was the Most Successful Sideshow on a Day That Featured Christina Aguilera and the Black Eyed Peas
Shortly before the Super Bowl kicked off, I wrote a piece that questioned whether or not Animal Planet's seventh annual Puppy Bowl was actually a better way to pass the time than FOX's Super Bowl pregame show.
I don't want to spoil the ending, but I sided with the puppies.
Indeed, no doubt many of you are of the opinion that the Puppy Bowl is a spectacular waste of time, not to mention the kind of novel entertainment that is just plain annoying.
However, let us not forget that this is Super Sunday. Novel entertainment and spectacular wastes of our time are par for the course. Why else do you think the likes of Christina Aguilera and the Black Eyed Peas were invited out to Cowboys Stadium?
Moreover, as far as the ever-important realm of social media is concerned, the Puppy Bowl was a roaring success. Even as late as midnight on the east coast, "Puppy Bowl" was still trending on Twitter, despite the fact the telecast wrapped up many hours before.
In short, show some respect. Those puppies (and kittens) may be cheap entertainment, but they're damned effective cheap entertainment.
.jpg?w=480 "Colts Jaguars Football")
