NBA All-Star Game: 10 Players Who Should Replace Yao Ming
Yao Ming of the Houston Rockets was voted into the NBA All-Star game to take place in a few weeks, even though he played in a whopping five games this season.
This comes to no surprise to people who realize that China is big...like Sam Cassell's forehead big.
Yao led all Western Conference centers with nearly one million votes, and outpaced the next closest player, Andrew Bynum, by more than 300,000 votes (who by the way, America, had played in only 21 games up to that point, and started only 14, which isn't many more than Yao's five, so don't go thinking that we are much better than China).
There is no reason why Yao should have won the starting spot in the All-Star game, even if he was averaging 20 points, 10 rebounds, two assists and three blocks per 36 minutes (he was playing only 18 minutes a game).
That leaves NBA Commissioner David Stern in a place that you could only imagine he is absolutely giddy about, he gets to pick the replacement for Yao.
Stern is allowed to pick any player in the Western Conference to replace Yao, he is not just limited to centers, so it would make sense if he were to go for a fan favorite or a very exciting player in order to boost ratings.
So, here I have broken down my top ten to replace Yao in the All-Star Game, along with the probability that Stern will even consider them as a replacement.
And don't kid yourselves, folks, I'm sure Stern will take my list into consideration, because I'm sure he is a regular reader.
Upon further consultation with the non-idiotic side of myself, I decided to keep this list to relatively big men, because I'm sure Stern is smart enough to fill out the roster in a classic way, rather than replacing Yao with, say, Steve Nash, and forcing the West to run a crazy hybrid offense with two point guards for the first few minutes of the game.
10. Byron James Mullens, Oklahoma City Thunder
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This is part of a campaign I am launching right now to create the "big white guy who can get posterized half a dozen times throughout the game" slot on the voting ballot.
Quick side note, if this really existed, and had been around for the past few decades, Shawn Bradley would be a 12-time All-Star, and the world would have an endless amount of footage of (insert amazingly athletic basketball player from 1993-2005 here) absolutely demoralizing Bradley.
First, it has been a while since a white dude embarrassed himself in the NBA All-Star Weekend.
In fact, not since The Birdman, Chris Anderson, tried the same dunk 349 times in the 2005 dunk contest has a white dude has made a complete fool of himself.
BJ Mullens will completely fill that void.
The argument against him is there, mostly the fact that he hasn't played in a game since the beginning of this year, and is averaging numbers that Antoine Walker could easily put up (seriously, someone get him in the league and give him some more cash), but his presence would make the game substantially more exciting.
Would it turn the game into a farce? Maybe. But the game has pretty much turned into that over the past decade, so why not go full-blown farce and put a chew-toy in the game for the likes of LeBron James and Dwight Howard?
Chance that David Stern picks him: -238%, but hey, a guy can dream.
9. Zach Randolph, Memphis Grizzlies
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Randolph hasn't been as impressive this season as he was last year, but he is still putting up the numbers that make him look like an All-Star candidate.
At 6-foot-9, Randolph is a little bit on the short side, but he is pulling down nearly 14 rebounds a game and is putting up 20 points a game.
The double-double machine is also grabbing nearly five offensive rebounds a game.
For the second time since the calendar switched over to 2011, Randolph has won the Western Conference Player of the Week Award, averaging 21 points and 15 rebounds over four games in the past week for the Grizz.
He is making his move to be in consideration, and he has the numbers to catch Stern's eyes.
Chance that David Stern picks him: 0 percent. Sorry Randolph fans, but there is just no way Stern puts a guy in the starting lineup of the All-Star Game when less than a year ago he was being accused of being a drug kingpin in Indiana who probably smokes more pot than Rasheed Wallace and Isaiah Rider back in the Jail Blazers days.
8. LaMarcus Aldridge, Portland Trail Blazers
3 of 10
LaMarcus Aldridge is in no way receiving enough credit for what he is helping the Portland Trail Blazers do.
I almost feel bad for putting him this low on the list, considering the fact that he is the leading scorer on a team that is 26-22, despite enough injuries to make Clippers fans pity them.
He is the only Blazer to play all 47 games and is averaging an impressive 21 points, nine rebounds, two assists, a block and a steal per game.
Some will say his defense is a bit lax from time-to-time, but he is the best healthy player on a playoff team, and has been more impressive than the runner-up in the voting, Andrew Bynum.
If his knees don't both tear in completely bizarre and separate accidents between now and the All-Star Game, he at least deserves a look.
Chance that David Stern picks him: Two percent. Aldridge has kept the Blazers afloat, but he doesn't equal ratings for the NBA Commish.
7. Kevin Love, Minnesota Timberwolves
4 of 10
The formerly chubby, sharp-shooting big man from UCLA is making a name for himself this season, and should end up with his first All-Star Game selection.
This decade's "Round Mound of Rebound" is pulling down nearly 16 rebounds a game, and more astonishingly, has become one of the few players in recent memory to be fun to watch rebound.
He just seems to be there whenever a shot careens off a rim, a bit like whenever someone on the Chicago Bears tackles anyone, Brian Urlacher always seems to be lurking about.
Love put up the first 30-point, 30-rebound game since Moses Malone in 1982 and is looking to have one of the top-ten rebounding seasons in the history of the NBA.
His 32.76 percent defensive rebounding rate is the ninth best in NBA history and his 23.48 percent total rebound rate is tied for 10th with the timeless Swen Nater.
Either balls are gravitating toward him or he is becoming one of the best rebounders of this era right in front of our eyes, and he needs to be rewarded for it.
Chance that David Stern picks him: Six percent. Love is lovely, but he isn't flashy enough for Stern.
6. Tim Duncan, San Antonio Spurs
5 of 10
The best team in the NBA has zero players starting in the upcoming All-Star Game, so this could be a move that Stern could seriously look to make.
Tim Duncan may be having a down year by his standards, but he is still mauling down rebounds and kissing the glass with his jumpshot as easily as he ever has.
Plus, his per-36 minute stats aren't that far from his career numbers.
He has taken a lesser role on offense and exchanged it for a more prolific defensive role, and is having one of the best shot-blocking years that he has had in the past five years.
The Big Fundamental may not have the sizzle and spice that say, Blake Griffin or Andrew Bynum would have, but the old-school basketball fans who still love to watch the "boring" superstar play would at least check out the game to see him.
Chance that David Stern picks him: Eight percent. He could do it as an homage to the best player of the 2000s (sorry, Kobe), but it probably still isn't very likely.
5. Nene, Denver Nuggets
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The single-named Brazilian is putting together his third straight impressive year after battling injuries for four seasons.
This year could be the best ever for the big man, as he is averaging a career-high 15 points per game to go along with seven rebounds and a league leading 64 percent field goal percentage.
Amid the Carmelo Anthony controversy, Nene has risen above as the rock that has held this team together, with his stellar defense and dependability down low.
He is an interesting person in this position, as he was the third highest vote-getting center in the West, and may just be the best center in the conference.
Chance that David Stern picks him: 13 percent. I may not be giving Stern enough credit here, as nobody (except those people out in Los Angeles who worship anything wearing purple and gold) would be too upset with the call, and it would give Brazil a reason to tune in.
4. Pau Gasol, Los Angeles Lakers
7 of 10
Just one of two Lakers to crack the top four here, Gasol had had one of the most impressive years of his career up until Andrew Bynum returned, and now he isn't even a starter for the Western Conference.
Back in early January, it was the hip thing to throw Gasol's name around as an MVP candidate, and as soon as Bynum returned and his minutes and numbers went down as expected, everyone abandoned him like he was the Titanic.
Nonetheless, Gasol has put up terrific numbers for the second-best team in the West and was third in the voting for forwards, just behind Carmelo Anthony and Kevin Durant.
He may be as soft as a pancake on a Sobakawa Cloud Pillow, but the dude is easily one of the best big men in the league, plus he's still not as soft as Chris Bosh, Hasheem Thabeet or Ryan Hollins.
Chance that David Stern picks him: 11 percent. He is a big man and got the most votes of any Western Conference non-starter, so it makes sense, but I still think Stern goes a different way here.
3. Dirk Nowitzki, Dallas Mavericks
8 of 10
Dirk is in one of those years that will cement his legacy.
He is already going down as the best European player to play the game so far, but he could end up elevating himself even farther if this season goes well for him and, more importantly, his team.
Nowitzki is easily keeping pace with his career numbers, and is becoming more of a leader for his team in his advancing age.
He is the best player on the third-best team in the conference, and is driving hard for another shot at the NBA title, and his numbers have reflected that, as he has been in murmurs of MVP conversations.
Chance that David Stern picks him: Three percent. Dirk seems to be a "been there, done that" player in the league, and Stern will likely look for younger, more exciting blood.
2. Andrew Bynum, Los Angeles Lakers
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Andrew Bynum is the runner-up vote-getter for centers in the Western Conference, and is the starting center for one of the best teams in the NBA, so by all means, this would be a logical pick.
Logical, but boring.
Sure Bynum has put up numbers that could put him in the conversation for best center in the West, but, quite frankly, Marcin Gortat could be in that conversation right now.
Bynum is averaging a ho-hum 12 points and seven rebounds to go along with two blocks per game and usually stellar defense, but there is nothing really special about him.
There is nothing in Bynum's game or reputation that screams, "I should be an All-Star starter," and that will probably be in Stern's mind when picking Yao's replacement.
Chance that David Stern picks him: 15 percent. It's logical, but it's not exciting, and Stern should be wanting exciting.
1. Blake Griffin, Los Angeles Clippers
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Call me a sheep, call me a bandwagoner, call me whatever you want in this situation, because it would probably be true, but Blake Griffin is an All-Star starter through and through.
He single-handedly rejuvenated the Los Angeles Clippers this season, something that nobody could have dreamed of him doing.
Along with that, he has made Baron Davis relevant again, and made it so seeing a Clippers game scroll by on the TV Guide has gone from a "must-miss" to a "must-see" game.
He can pull out a monstrous dunk out of nowhere, and has begun to get under the skin of many players, which could lead to an actually competitive game (gasp!).
Blake may have the personality of Tim Duncan, but he has the athleticism of a young Hakeem Olajuwon or Patrick Ewing.
Griffin is the flavor of the month and the rookie of the year (yes, I have officially ended the contest roughly four months before the season ends, what of it?), and he deserves to add All-Star starter to that list.
Chance that David Stern picks him: 40 percent. The country is clamoring for him, and it would create a lineup involving him and Chris Paul, which could mean one of the greatest alley-oops in NBA history.
This pick is nearly a sure thing, so knock this one out of the park, Stern, if he made the Clippers exciting, he can definitely make this All-Star Game exciting.
