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NFC Championship: 6 Unusual Ways the Bears Can Gain an Edge On the Packers
January 21, 2011NFC Championship: 6 Unusual Ways the Bears Can Gain an Edge On the Packers
Clausewitz once said that enemies can strategize all they want, but when confrontation finally happens, both sides will be in a "fog of war" and the best prepared side will come out victorious.
Like war, NFL Football is also unpredictable. While all the experts are discussing fundamental football strategy, statistics and comparisons, this slide show instead identifies six odd and unusual ways the underdog Bears can gain an edge on their division rival, the Green Bay Packers, during this Sunday's NFC Championship matchup.
Get Cutler a Helmet That Fits
Seriously...how can Cutler see out of his helmet?
Not only does the second cross bar on top hang low, but the side bars on his face mask has to impact his peripheral vision. I wonder how good Cutler could be if he didn't have things obstructing his view.
Ask Oprah To Call the Coin Toss
Chicago resident Oprah has horseshoes magically appear wherever she goes.
She hangs with Presidential Candidate Obama, he's nominated President. Oprah would love to get the media exposure to promote her new network and President Obama has already committed to attending the Super Bowl if the Bears beat the Packers.
BTW—I see four invites (prominent world and national leaders/role models) to the State dinner sleeping (arguable—I guess) in the picture above. I'm a bit concerned.
Hold a Saturday Morning Press Conference in Wisconsin Dells
Since both the Bears and Packers are practicing chivalry and being kind to each other this week, why not use it to gain an edge?
The Bears, in a great act of Diplomacy, could suggest meeting "half way" for a Saturday Morning Press Conference in Wisconsin Dells (2-3 hour drive for both teams).
Judging by a June 2010 birthday celebration bash gone bad, young Packer players like Clay Mathews, Josh Sitton and Matt Flynn can relive the memory of the night they were questioned by Lake Delton (connected to Wisconsin Dells) police due to an assault claim.
Pay Favre To Be Friendly Towards Rodgers
It would be foolish to think that Aaron Rodgers' competitive nature has nothing to do with Brett Favre treating him like a second-class citizen. Favre's not so friendly projection towards Rodgers is the gas that fuels Rodger's fire—which makes him work harder to be a better QB.
Favre has already thrown some compliments towards Rodgers this week. Fans also found out that Jay Cutler helped Rodgers' younger brother navigate the Vanderbilt campus. Why not take it to the next level and have Favre offer to help Rodger's younger brother with his throwing velocity.
Better yet, teach baby Rodgers what to include and what not to include in text messages.
Bring Scissors
Look at Mathews' amazing golden locks.
Sitton, Hawk, half the running backs and secondary, even Mark Tauscher—Packer players could be mistaken for plumpy cheerleaders if dressed properly. I bet the Packers have more "pony tail" players than any team in the NFL. For that matter, all the NFC North teams combined.
Is long hair the key to the Packers' strength? First we have Samson and now Tom Brady is growing his hair out? There has to be something to it.
The Bears must find a way to cut the hair of key Packers players if they hope to win on Sunday.
Free Foamed Ditka
The Bears should give every fan attending the game a free "foamed" Ditka with replica sunglasses, mustache and a pack of chewing gum.
Nothing breathes more fear (and annoyance) in Packers fans and players than the "Ditka Look" Chicago Bears Fans mirrored in the 80s.
Seeing an ocean of Ditkas at Soldier Field would force many Packers fans to throw their TVs out the window.
Since the game will be played in cold weather, why not add one of those famous snot ice cycles that use to hang from Ditka's mustache?