NFC Championship: 6 Unusual Ways the Bears Can Gain an Edge On the Packers

Uden FranklinContributor IJanuary 21, 2011

NFC Championship: 6 Unusual Ways the Bears Can Gain an Edge On the Packers

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    GREEN BAY, WI - JANUARY 02:  Matt Forte #22 of the Chicago Bears carries the ball after making a catch against the Green Bay Packers at Lambeau Field on January 2, 2011 in Green Bay, Wisconsin.  (Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images)
    Matthew Stockman/Getty Images

    Clausewitz once said that enemies can strategize all they want, but when confrontation finally happens, both sides will be in a "fog of war" and the best prepared side will come out victorious. 

    Like war, NFL Football is also unpredictable. While all the experts are discussing fundamental football strategy, statistics and comparisons, this slide show instead identifies six odd and unusual ways the underdog Bears can gain an edge on their division rival, the Green Bay Packers, during this Sunday's NFC Championship matchup. 

Get Cutler a Helmet That Fits

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    CHICAGO - NOVEMBER 14: Jay Cutler #6 of the Chicago Bears drops back to look for a receiver against the Minnesota Vikings at Soldier Field on November 14, 2010 in Chicago, Illinois. The Bears defeated the Vikings 27-13. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Ima
    Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images can Cutler see out of his helmet? 

    Not only does the second cross bar on top hang low, but the side bars on his face mask has to impact his peripheral vision. I wonder how good Cutler could be if he didn't have things obstructing his view.

Ask Oprah To Call the Coin Toss

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    COPENHAGEN, DENMARK - OCTOBER 1:  U.S. first lady Michelle Obama sits with television talk show host Oprah Winfrey, second right, and Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley, right, at the opening Ceremony of the 121st IOC Session at the Copenhagen Opera House on
    Pool/Getty Images

    Chicago resident Oprah has horseshoes magically appear wherever she goes. 

    She hangs with Presidential Candidate Obama, he's nominated President. Oprah would love to get the media exposure to promote her new network and President Obama has already committed to attending the Super Bowl if the Bears beat the Packers.

    BTW—I see four invites (prominent world and national leaders/role models) to the State dinner sleeping (arguable—I guess) in the picture above. I'm a bit concerned.

Hold a Saturday Morning Press Conference in Wisconsin Dells

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    GLENDALE, AZ - JANUARY 03:  Josh Sitton #71 of the Green Bay Packers looks on from the sideline against the Arizona Cardinals at University of Phoenix Stadium on January 3, 2010 in Glendale, Arizona.  (Photo by Jamie Squire/Getty Images)
    Jamie Squire/Getty Images

    Since both the Bears and Packers are practicing chivalry and being kind to each other this week, why not use it to gain an edge? 

    The Bears, in a great act of Diplomacy, could suggest meeting "half way" for a Saturday Morning Press Conference  in Wisconsin Dells (2-3 hour drive for both teams). 

    Judging by a June 2010 birthday celebration bash gone bad, young Packer players like Clay Mathews, Josh Sitton and Matt Flynn can relive the memory of the night they were questioned by Lake Delton (connected to Wisconsin Dells) police due to an assault claim. 

Pay Favre To Be Friendly Towards Rodgers

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    DETROIT, MI - JANUARY 02:  Brett Favre #4 of the Minnesota Vikings talks at a post game press conference after a 13-20 loss to the Detroit Lions at Ford Field on January 2, 2011 in Detroit, Michigan.  (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)
    Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

    It would be foolish to think that Aaron Rodgers' competitive nature has nothing to do with Brett Favre treating him like a second-class citizen. Favre's not so friendly projection towards Rodgers is the gas that fuels Rodger's fire—which makes him work harder to be a better QB.

    Favre has already thrown some compliments towards Rodgers this week. Fans also found out that Jay Cutler helped Rodgers' younger brother navigate the Vanderbilt campus. Why not take it to the next level and have Favre offer to help Rodger's younger brother with his throwing velocity. 

    Better yet, teach baby Rodgers what to include and what not to include in text messages. 

Bring Scissors

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    GREEN BAY, WI - MAY 1:  Linebacker Clay Mathews #52 walks on the field as he participates in practice drills during Green Bay Packers Minicamp at Don Hutson Center on May 1, 2009 in Green Bay, Wisconsin. (Photo by Scott Boehm/Getty Images)
    Scott Boehm/Getty Images

    Look at Mathews' amazing golden locks.

    Sitton, Hawk, half the running backs and secondary, even Mark Tauscher—Packer players could be mistaken for plumpy cheerleaders if dressed properly. I bet the Packers have more "pony tail" players than any team in the NFL. For that matter, all the NFC North teams combined.

    Is long hair the key to the Packers' strength? First we have Samson and now Tom Brady is growing his hair out? There has to be something to it.

    The Bears must find a way to cut the hair of key Packers players if they hope to win on Sunday.

Free Foamed Ditka

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    5 Sep 1987:  Head coach Mike Ditka of the Chicago Bears during the Bears 20-17 preseason victory over the Los Angeles Raiders at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum in Los Angeles, California.  Mandatory Credit: Stephen Dunn  /Allsport
    Stephen Dunn/Getty Images

    The Bears should give every fan attending the game a free "foamed" Ditka with replica sunglasses, mustache and a pack of chewing gum.

    Nothing breathes more fear (and annoyance) in Packers fans and players than the "Ditka Look" Chicago Bears Fans mirrored in the 80s. 

    Seeing an ocean of Ditkas at Soldier Field would force many Packers fans to throw their TVs out the window. 

    Since the game will be played in cold weather, why not add one of those famous snot ice cycles that use to hang from Ditka's mustache?