10 Things That Will Happen This Weekend: Week Three

Ned DuttonCorrespondent ISeptember 12, 2008

It's Friday, which means another installment of my "10 Things That Will Happen This Weekend."  After Week One, I had four total points. Not too shabby, but I thought I should crank it up a notch and make bolder predictions in Week Two.

They were gutsier, and I was almost rewarded for them.  Let me tell you, no one this side of the Mississippi was more upset when Jake Locker got flagged.

So how did I do last week? Let's take a look...

  • Ohio State/Ohio was not close to one of the most boring games of the weekend. Bad call. (-1)
  • Miami (OH)/Michigan was pretty competitive (in a pillow fight kind of way), so I'll give myself credit there. Obviously I have to give myself credit for the South Florida/UCF overtime game, so this was a good call. (+1)
  • Michigan didn't cover the spread. (+1)
  • Northwestern beat Duke. (+1)
  • The ACC improved its record to 15-8. I was close, but no points. (-1)
  • The Big Ten won all of its games. (+1)
  • San Diego was beating Notre Dame for quite a long time. (+1)
  • I don't want to talk about it. (-1)
  • Corso put on the gator head. (+1)
  • Technically, ESPN has Tebow #1, but The Worldwide Leader is about the only major news source to a) Be bored enough to release a Heisman list this early and b) Have Tebow on top. I'll admit, I didn't really think through this prediction (Emerge where? According to...?), but I'm still wrong. (-1)

Not nearly as good as Week One, but that's okay. All in all, I got 6/10, giving me two more points on the year and a grand total of six. My goal is to have more points than Tim Tebow has touchdowns by the end of the year. So far, I'm winning.

So, drum roll or not, here are 10 Things That Will Happen This Weekend.

1. Beanie Wells will play, but will ultimately not be a factor.

This is going to be one of those situations where you (Jim Tressel) can't not play him, but it's just going to be something that makes you cringe.

(A healthy) Beanie vs. USC's linebackers is something college football fans have dreamed about for months, but what they'll see Saturday night is an aching Beanie trying to suck it up—and it's not going to work. Whether you're a Buckeyes fan or not, watching Beanie struggle will make you feel bad for him, though maybe not Ohio State.

2. The only real winners in the Michigan/Notre Dame game are the rest of us.

The 60 percent of the nation that doesn't love Michigan or Notre Dame is going to have a field day with this kitten fight.

"Michigan, you couldn't even beat Charlie Weis? The last time that guy saw success was when they had the team meal at Hometown Buffet!"


"Notre Dame, you couldn't beat Michigan? They don't have a quarterback, they don't have a running back, they don't have a wide receiver...they lost to Appalachian State last year! Where was Jimmy Clausen (!!!!OMG Jimmy Clausen!!!!) when you needed him?"

Etc, etc.

Personally, I'm excited. Whatever team happens to score more points at the end of the game will lose next week, so it's not like we (the rest of the nation) will have to suffer through too much gloating from that team's fans.

3. ABC will show no fewer than six celebrities at the OSU/USC game

We know Denzel Washington and Jamie Foxx are going to be there, as are "150-200" other really cool/rich people. Who will they be? Will Ferrell is a good bet, but I guess we'll just have to tune in to find out!

4. If Ohio State loses, they will drop out of the Top 12. If USC loses, they will drop no lower than seven.

Sorry for all the OSU/USC predictions this week, but in case you haven't heard, the hype is what's going to make this game great. Wait, what? Either way, this prediction is pretty straightforward.

I came pretty close to saying "If Ohio State wins, they won't get 100 percent of the first place votes," but that's getting way too far ahead of myself. I just threw in the second condition to make Buckeye fans happy—I'm not going to lie.

5. Wisconsin will beat Fresno State convincingly.

I know "convincingly" is generally a subjective adverb, but that's how confident I am. I'm not talking four-possession victory here, but rather just a comfortable, pretty stress-free victory.

Yes, they fell behind to Marshall last week, but they scored 51 unanswered points to finish the job. This game may be close for a while, but Wisconsin will eventually pull away.

6. BYU will keep their BCS hopes alive.

As much as I hate to think about it, BYU did outplay Washington, and as such still has dreams of the BCS. This week they play revitalized UCLA at home, but I don't see the upset. BYU knows it got away with one last week and won't let this game get away.

7. Graham Harrell will throw for over 450 yards against Southern Methodist.

Rice put up six passing touchdowns against SMU, and Texas State put up four more last week, so the only real question here is whether Harrell plays long enough to accumulate 450 yards. I think so.

8. Penn State will have more touchdowns than Syracuse has points.

This is quite a gutsy prediction, but imagine if it comes true. Penn State can certainly put up a lot of points (55.2 Points per game), and Syracuse is certainly terrible...but we'll see.

Maybe I should have made a connection between Penn State arrests and Syracuse points...eh, maybe not. Touchdowns is more optimistic.

9. The SEC will go undefeated (in non-conference play).

I know, it's something we all take for granted (the SEC was sent to us by God for getting through Y2K), but the SEC has a pretty good chance of sweeping the non-conference slate this week. Possible slip-up? Rice at Vanderbilt.

10. Lee Corso will pick USC.

What would this list be without another OSU/USC prediction and a Lee Corso mention? It'd be nothing. But anyway, Lee Corso does have a history for being unpredictable/stupid in his choices, so anything is possible—this is definitely not a free point for me.

I say Corso goes out on a limb and picks the 10.5 point favorite, giving Buckeye fans everywhere a little hope (Ohio State has a pretty good record of defying Corso's picks, whatever they may be).


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