Rich Rodriguez Mess: Why Is Michigan Delaying The Inevitable?

Rich Rodriguez and the University of Michigan have taken that very strange step from reality to bizzaroland.

That limp, near-lifeless body dangling from a flag-pole near the athletic facility in Ann Arbor is that of Rodriguez, who as of Monday morning, Monday afternoon and Monday evening, is still the football coach at the big M.

Pay no attention to all those reports from Detroit FOX and the Detroit Free Press, ESPN and just about every online and print publication in the free world: Rich Rodriguez is STILL the football coach at Michgan, allegedly.

This lastest chapter in the life and times of Rich Rod at Michigan, is just a glimpse of what has gone on for the past three years in Ann Arbor.

There were many factions that felt the Wolverines did not get it right with this hire and it has become painfully evident that athletic director Dave Brandon doesn't even know how to fire a guy, much less hire the right one.

Perhaps it is Brandon who needs to go and Rodriguez who needs to stay.

Here's the official sports information-speak that came out of the land of Maize and Blue yesterday:

"Everything that is being reported is media speculation at this point. The definitive voice on this matter is Dave Brandon and he has not and will not speak publicly until a final decision has been made."

Now, isn't that cute?

The patient on life support still has a pulse; there's no brain activity but technically the patient IS still alive.

That's what this fine Big Blue Mess sounds like, doesn't it?

It's going to take the entire Ann Arbor sanitation department to wipe the massive amounts of egg off Brandon's face come Wednesday or Thursday.

Is there even the remote possibility that Rich Rodriguez will still be the coach at Michigan for the 2011 season? Now, wouldn't that be a doozy?

If getting punked, steam-rolled, buried and slapped senseless by Mississippi State didn't have everyone laughing at Michigan, then this latest Rich Rod firing session will.

Perhaps Brandon feels bad about all of this and wants to throw a three-day going away party for Rich Rod. That could be the only reason for this Michigan Madness.

This is liking baking a cake with rotten eggs and putting a nice round piece of poop on the top before serving it.

If Michigan is having such difficulty showing Rich Rod the door, we can't wait until they crank up that new coaching search.

Perhaps they'll take a chapter from the Tales of Robin Hood and hold a national archery tournament—best bow and arrow gets the job.

Or maybe they'll just sink a magical sword into a huge stone, place it outside the athletic offices and wait for the worthy one who can pull the sword from the stone—that's the ticket.

Seriously, they're telling us that there was supposed to be a team meeting last night around 7 PM but that it was moved to today (Wednesday) at 4 PM.

I can't tell you what the Michigan schedule is, but a lot of college kids haven't returned to campus yet from the holiday break. Makes you wonder how many football players they can round up, doesn't it?

They may have to bring them out of hiding after what transpired against Mississippi State.

There's no truth to the rumor that many of the players have gone into the witness protection program to protect their testimony regarding the Mississippi Massacre.

If Michigan wants someone to throw stones at, then perhaps Dave Brandon would be a nice target for starters.

After all, per the official Michigan mumbo-jumbo, Dave IS the definitive voice in this giant Maize and Blue bumbling mess.

So come on Dave, pull Rich Rod down from that flag pole—he's been dangling in the cold winds of Ann Arbor long enough.

Get it over with. Get the dirty deed done, then wash your hands in front of the gathered media and get on with the business at hand.

You've really made a mess of this one.

Someone needs to call the janitor.

Make that an army of janitors.