College Football Week 13: The Ultimate Television Viewing Guide Nov. 25-27
Welcome back you turkeys, to Week 13 of the College Football season and your Ultimate Television Viewing Guide!
We have plenty of things to be thankful for at this time. Let's run down what fanbases can be the most thankful for before we carve open this bird of a slideshow.
Side note, yes there will be plenty of Thanksgiving puns stuffed into this casserole. Pull up a seat at the kiddies table and tuck the napkin into your shirt; as this is going to be worse than your Uncle Steve that has had too much to drink.
South Carolina fans: you have to be thankful for this year. Not only is this your best season ever as a program, but you have a bright future with Marcus Lattimore, and a quarterback that should come back for his senior year.
Tennessee fans: you have to be thankful that Lane Kiffin is gone from your program right?
Pittsburgh fans: you have to be thankful that you play in the Big East. Never has 6-4 looked so good, and yet so bad.
Texas fans: you have to be thankful that Malcolm Brown is coming next year to save a running game that is awful, and that you are not OU. It's 2:17 p.m. and OU still sucks.
Boise State and TCU fans: you have to be thankful that Auburn has to play last year's BCS National champion Alabama this week and then South Carolina. One of you should be playing for the National Title.
Oregon fans: See above, but add on giant posterboards to call offensive plays.
And finally, Missouri fans: be thankful that any time Nebraska loses Taylor Martinez, their offense tanks, except for that time Roy Helu Jr. ran for 307 yards against you this season. But you may fall ass backwards into a BCS game.
Thank you one and all for always clicking on this slideshow and reading what is spewed on here. Click through what will be on this week while you stuff your face full of leftover turkey.
Thursday Nov. 25, 8:00 P.M. EDT: No. 18 Texas A&M at Texas, ESPN
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If you were to say that this game was going to feature one Texas team playing for the Big 12 South title with the other Texas team just finishing the season, you would think the Longhorns were playing for the title, right?
Well, cowboy, you would be wrong.
The tides have turned. The Aggies are playing for the title, and the Longhorns could play spoiler on Thanksgiving.
Friday Nov. 26, 11:00 A.M. EDT: Louisville at Rutgers, ESPN 2
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The Big East dominates your post Thanksgiving hangover, as Rutgers and Louisville battle for Big East positioning!
Louisville comes into this game looking to finish its season at .500, and Rutgers comes in at 4-6.
This game is the cranberry sauce that comes out of the can. No one wants it, but you're forced to look at it.
Friday Nov. 26, Noon EDT: West Virginia at Pittsburgh, ABC
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Spelling fail Pitt fans, but then again the whole Big East as a whole is a BCS fail.
This game will decide the Big East conference. It is the Backyard brawl; it is the biggest rivalry in the Big East for football.
For example, a certain columnist has a father who played Pitt baseball; his words about playing in Morgantown, WV.
"When we would pull up on our bus to the field, we would be pelted by batteries and other stuff. In fact one time after being pulled from the game, my teammate tossed his glove over the dugout and into the woods behind the field. Not more than a minute later, the glove was tossed back at us."
These schools are only 90 miles apart; get ready for a blood bath at Heinz Field on Friday.
.jpg?w=256 "Ohio State Team Doctor")
Friday Nov. 26, 2:30 P.M. EDT: No. 2 Auburn at No. 11 Alabama, CBS
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Here we go boys; time to step up from the kiddy table and come to the adult table.
Those of you who were sucked into the 3 a.m. bargain-door-ultra-mega-super-duper-blow your socks off-break the walls down-door buster-sale for that 200-inch television for $20 will be happy to turn on the new television for this one.
South Carolina played Auburn well earlier in this year, but the Iron Bowl is the game that Auburn is at the highest risk to lose.
It is very hard to defeat Alabama in general. It is almost impossible to defeat 'Bama at home. But if there was ever a team or player to do so, it's Auburn and Cam Newton.
Friday Nov. 26, 3:30 P.M. EDT: Colorado at No. 15 Nebraska, ABC
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It's the last Big 12 game ever for both Colorado and Nebraska.
Colorado has had a rough season off the field, firing head coach Dan Hawkins, but it still has a chance to finish the season at a very respectable 6-6 overall.
Nebraska needs a win to take the Big 12 North title. As stated in the opening slide, this Nebraska offense stalls when quarterback Taylor Martinez is not in.
Friday Nov. 26, 7:30 P.M. EDT: No. 21 Arizona at No. 1 Oregon, ESPN
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Let's see if we can decipher what Oregon is trying to call on offense.
Okay we have ESPN anchor Neil Everett, a picture of the state of Pennsylvania, a moose and the word "Magic."
Maybe this play is throwing a screen pass and letting LaMichael James run for a touchdown.
Well, even if it is not, Arizona needs to watch the Cal-Oregon game and find out how the Cal Bears were able to stop this offense.
Friday Nov. 26, 10:15 P.M. No. 4 Boise State at No. 19 Nevada
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To send you back into turkey hibernation, or if you are still up and running on two hours of sleep from Black Friday sales, here comes Boise State's last test before the end of the season.
Nevada struggled against Fresno State two weeks ago.
Last week, Boise State crushed that same Fresno State team.
Against a Virginia Tech team that will probably win the ACC, the Broncos went on the road, but won on a neutral site. This week, it is their first true road test against a ranked team.
Saturday Nov. 27, Noon EDT: Michigan at No. 8 Ohio State, ABC
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Ah, the Michigan-Ohio State game; how this one is always great? The two schools hate each other, and this Ohio State team has dominated Michigan the last few years.
However, unlike the last few years, Michigan has a very good chance at upsetting the Buckeyes. Not only could the Wolverines get revenge for the Rich Rod years, but they could end any chance of Ohio State sneaking in a Big Ten title.
This is a very long shot, but Ohio State could just sneak into the National Title game, unless Michigan can pull the upset this week.
Saturday Nov. 27, Noon EDT: No. 10 Michigan State at Penn State, ESPN 2
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It is the end of an era, the end of a wonderful career, the end of the greatest college football coach ever. He has won 401 games and has been with Penn State since the 50's. Yes, it will be sad to see Penn State coach Joe Paterno coach his last game on Saturday.
Wait, you're saying he has told the media he will come back for the 2011 season?
Really?
Good gravy, this bird just won't expire!
Michigan State needs a lot of help to get into this Rose Bowl as the Big Ten champion. Ohio State and Wisconsin losses will give the Spartans the title and a spot in the Rose Bowl.
Saturday Nov. 27, Noon EDT: Boston College at Syracuse, ESPN
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Hey, this Syracuse team has to get some major respect here on this slideshow.
Last year, this team finished 4-8 overall and 1-6 in the Big East.
Two years ago, this team finished 3-9 and 1-6 in the Big East.
Three years ago, this team finished 2-10 and 1-6 in the Big East.
This year, this Syracuse team has a chance to finish 8-4 and 4-3 in the Big East.
Way to go 'Cuse, glad to see you back to relevance in college football.
Saturday Nov. 27, 3:30 P.M. EDT: No. 5 LSU at No. 12 Arkansas, CBS
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With every slide that has an Arkansas home game, we must begin with the following:
WWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PIG SUEY!
Last week, LSU struggled with a bad Ole Miss team. However, LSU head coach Les Miles pulled another victory out of his tiger tail. The LSU Tigers' propensity for close games is weird. When they have a horrible offense, their defense is amazing. When they cannot stop anyone, their offense steps up to score 35+ points.
Now this week, they face the SEC's best passing quarterback, Ryan Mallett. Does Les have one more victory under his LSU hat?
Saturday Nov. 27, 3:30 P.M. EDT: Northwestern at No. 7 Wisconsin, ABC
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Here we go Wisconsin Badger nation. Win and you're in. Lose and well, it's the Jan. 1 noon bowl game again for you.
Either way, it is an excuse to get you out of the cold of Wisconsin, and the warmth of somewhere south.
If Wisconsin loses and Ohio State and Michigan State wins, get ready for Texas and Oklahoma from 2008 all over again. Except this time, it is just for the Rose Bowl and not the National Championship.
Saturday Nov. 27, 3:30 P.M. EDT: Florida at No. 22 Florida State, ABC
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The second battle of Florida commences in Tallahassee Saturday afternoon, as the day before, South Florida and Miami face off in a game not shown on national television. Then again, after the last two games between those teams, would anyone really want to watch that game?
Between Florida and Florida State, you get two teams that are both heading to bowl games, and both teams that could finish with similar records.
For Florida, this ends a tough season under first-year starter John Brantley. The growing pains should be over by now, and these last two games should be a look into the program's future.
Florida State still has not wrapped up the ACC Atlantic division. A win here and the 'Noles clinch, a loss here and they still have a chance at clinching.
Saturday Nov. 27, 3:30 P.M. EDT: No. 23 North Carolina State at Maryland, ESPN 2
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Maryland had a chance last week to put Florida State out of the running for the ACC Atlantic division championship. The Terps were playing a Florida State team that was reeling coming into their game. However, Maryland turned out to be an overcooked bird, losing 30-17.
North Carolina State has a chance to win its first Atlantic division title since the ACC went to 12 teams. The Wolfpack just need to win this week, and get a Florida victory against Florida State.
Strange things have happened this year; why not keep it going?
Saturday Nov. 27, 7:00 P.M. EDT: No. 18 South Carolina at Clemson, ESPN 2
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These two teams just do not like each other. Both share the same state, but after that there are no similarities.
Usually this game has Clemson fighting for an ACC division title and South Carolina just fighting for a better spot in the SEC and a better bowl game. This year, much like the Texas-Texas A&M game, the teams have swapped positions.
This game is meaningless for both teams, as South Carolina has clinched the SEC East and Clemson has been eliminated from ACC contention. But that will not stop these two teams from trying to kill each other.
Saturday Nov. 27, 7:45 P.M. EDT: Georgia Tech at Georgia, ESPN
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Georgia Tech and Georgia, two schools that share the same state and the same head scratching question from their fans, "What the EFF happened this year?!"
Georgia Tech, you were the ACC champion last year. This year you're 6-5 overall and need a win just to stay in contention of playing in a New Year's Day bowl game.
Georgia, this season has you all wondering what if? As in, what if A.J. Green did not sell his jersey and get suspended? What would your season have looked like?
Last year's records for Georgia Tech and UGA: Ga Tech (11-3 overall, 7-1 ACC) and UGA (8-5 overall, 4-4 SEC).
Saturday Nov. 27, 8:00 P.M. EDT: No. 13 Oklahoma at No. 9 Oklahoma State, ABC
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It's Saturday night. You are stuffed beyond belief and have watched enough college football to equal eating a 14-pound turducket.Guess what? There is still room left for one more piece of pumpkin pie. Get ready for this battle in Stillwater between No. 1 and 2 in the Big 12 South.
Oklahoma State has never won the Big 12 South since its inception. What better time than the Big 12's last year under the original 12 teams?
Oklahoma can save what has been a disappointing season. The Sooners started out number one, only too fall all the way down to 13. However, they have struggled on the road against teams not named Baylor.
Saturday Nov. 27, 8:00 P.M. EDT: Notre Dame at USC, ABC
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And finally, we come to an end of our College Football Television Viewing Guide! What better way than to end it with some USC and Notre Dame?
What, that doesn't excite you?
What, you're screaming, "Why is Notre Dame on TV AGAIN?!?!?!?!"
Well, ABC tells you that you want to watch USC and Notre Dame play on prime time. Sure, both teams are not ranked, and only Notre Dame is going to a bowl game.
So what, the Southern Cal cheerleaders are on; get over it you cornucopias of channel surfing!
BAM, one last turkey day reference!
That's all for this week people. Thank you once again for making it too the end of College Football Week 13: The Ultimate Television Viewing Guide! You can always follow me on Twitter by clicking the link www.twitter.com/tjmcaloon. Enjoy the food this week and hit the Stairmaster afterwards. See yeinz next week.
.jpg?w=480 "Ohio State Team Doctor")
