Brian Cook's Contract: The Greatest Mystery of the 2010 NBA Offseason

Is Brian Cook's beard beautiful?

Does his goofy grin make the angriest of people crack a smile?

Is his towel waving among the best in the league?

The answer to each of those questions is undoubtedly yes. Brian Cook is one of the goofiest, nicest, and best groomed basketball players in the NBA, but these attributes do nothing to affect what he does on the basketball court.

Unfortunately for Cook, he is a truly horrific basketball player. And seeing as his contract was up at the end of the season, Cook did what all terrible basketball players do and signed up to play for the Los Angeles Clippers on a two year, $2.3 million deal.

Simply put, this move may be the biggest head scratcher of the offseason. The Hawks signed Joe Johnson to an enormous $119 million deal that he surely was not worth, the Timberwolves retained Darko Milicic at a steep rate of $20 million, and Amir Johnson even got a $33 million pact. 

However, the differences between the Cook deal and these other contracts is that these contracts made some sense when they were signed. Resigning Johnson ensured that the Hawks would continue to rake in the lucrative playoff revenue for a few years, Milicic flashed signs as a solid defensive center, and Amir Johnson is a tremendous player cutting to the rim for baskets.

Cook, on the other hand, has no discernible basketball skill at this point. To truly show how awful Cook has been over the last few years, let's look at the numbers he's posted.

Since his "renaissance season" in 2006-07 when he shot 45 percent from the field and averaged 6.9 points per game, Cook has averaged 3.5 points per game and has shot 36.9 percent from the field, barely getting on the floor for the Rockets or the Magic.

However, his statistics are not really why he is so awful—any statistics for a player who plays as little as Cook did would be nearly useless as he only played in garbage time over the last 3 years. The reason the signing is so bad is something mentioned earlier—he lacks any discernible basketball skill.

He has lost his three-point touch over the last couple of years, he's a horrid defender who cannot stay in front of anyone, and he has shown absolutely no effort to get into shape over the last few years.

Some may point to the signing and say that the Clippers were looking to catch "lightning in a bottle" and find a sweet-shooting big man who could contribute off the bench at a low price. However, if the Clippers were smart, they'd look at someone who had a higher upside than Cook like Ian Mahinmi or Kwame Brown, who each signed contracts for the league minimum for one year with their respective teams. 

And then there's the case of the second year of the deal. It is a player option for just over $1 million so if he has a shockingly respectable season the Clippers will only get one year of value for their risk.

There is absolutely no added value in a player option to the Clippers—if he plays poorly they are stuck with another year of Brian Cook and if he plays well he's off to greener pastures—and thus the only reason to add it on would be to out-bid another team. I can virtually guarantee you that no other team was bidding for Cook, which makes the move all the more puzzling.

Clippers fans will come to love Cook for his beautiful facial hair if he decides to grow it during the season, but unfortunately that's about all they will come to love about him. At just over $1 million for each of the next two years, the money is not going to be a huge burden, but it seems shocking for somebody who played so badly the last few years to get another contract in the NBA.

Looking at all the players who signed for less, the Clippers appear to have made a fool of themselves once again.

The Clippers must pat themselves on the back for having done something impressive though. They somehow managed to find somebody worse than Steve Novak.