Captains Of Narcissism: 10 Biggest Egomaniacs in the NBA
As one of the craziest offseasons in NBA history draws to a close (or does it?), a lot ofย fans are feeling like so many shreds of LeBron James jersey heaped in the corner of an Akron area public house.
You know what happened, so I won't go back over it.ย But suffice it to say that fansย feel used.ย Theyย feel cheated.ย ย Some feel likeย the players haveย hit aย critical massย of greed and arrogance that -- in this economy, at leastย -- isย creating no small amount of vitriol.
If I was an NBA exec, I might be a little worried that,ย to theย casual public,ย Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, and Shaquille O'Neal are the faces not only of the league, butย of the very idea of megalomania.
The NBA certainlyย doesn't own any patents onย arrogance,ย butย some playersย have it down to a science,ย and in a world where even a Joe Schmoe like meย needs only nanoseconds toย chirp outย his feelings to the world, itย isn'tย really a challenge forย celebsย toย place themselves squarely at the center of their own universe.ย
The following players, listed in no particular order,ย areย allย gifted in following their dualย callings:ย basketball, and egomaniacism.
Honorable Mention: Ricky Davis, Shooting Guard
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I know, I know.ย He's out of the league.ย But you know what?ย ย When youย deliberatelyย shootย it offย your ownย rim in an attempt to get a triple double, you'veย earned a lifetimeย spot on my ego team.ย Welcome aboard, Ricky.ย
1. LeBron James, Small Forward
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I was going to put him toward the end, but then figured it was so easy andย obvious that I would just get him out of the way at the beginning.
In any case, maybe you've heard of him.ย First guy to have his high school games televised on ESPN? First guy to have his free agencyย announcement televised on ESPN?ย ย Interesting symmetry there.ย What hath we wrought indeed.
The only thing I mightย add to the South Beach's worth of Internet inches on this topicย isย an incredulity over theย attempts he made at conciliation once he realized what a firestorm he hadย set off.ย In a recent issue of GQ, for example, he noted that "I understood that a lot of people would be hurt," and that a possible return to Cleveland some day would be "a nice story."ย It was all as if to say "if I was a regular peon, I would be upset about me leaving, too."ย Or, to put it in LeBronese, "if Lebron was a regular peon, and LeBron left Cleveland, LeBron would be upset about LeBron leaving, too."
Even the crocodile tears don't come easily for this guy.
2. Kobe Bryant, Shooting Guard
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Another easy one.
Everyone knows the book on Kobe by now.ย If the team is winning, he loves his coaches and teammates and theย fans and media.ย If the team is in a funk he, well, he stops shooting.ย Or he looks to blame others.
Maybe Pau Gasol carrying more than a second banana's share in theย Lakersย 2010 title runย will changeย Kobe's tune regarding supporting cast members.ย Maybe it won't.ย In any case, the self-proclaimed Black Mamba is probably the best player, right now, on the planet.ย And he knows it.
And if nothing else, he gained a lot of NBAย backers this offseason--in June by winning his fifth title, and in Julyย just by standing still.
3. Shaquille O'Neal, Center
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See disclaimer in slides 1 and 2.
If I was ranking these guys, it might be neck and neck between Shaq and LeBron for the top slot.ย This is the guy who shouted "Pay Me!" at owner Jerry Buss during a game in 2004.ย ย A lot of fans and players love him, a lot don't. But in coaching circles,ย there's apparentlyย a near-consensus that he's a ticking time bomb in the team chemistry lab.
After all, look how many teams he's played for -- Boston is his sixth team.
Sure, he's glad-handing the Celtics faithful now.ย But give it time.
And sure, he's a dominant player.ย He could have been the best.ย But because he always chose to play his way into shape "on the company dime" (his words), he's spending his twilight years as a journeyman, rather than taking victory laps.
4. Gilbert Arenas, Point Guard
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Here's a guy who has such a big ego he actually thought he was above the law.ย As evidenced by his, you know, mocking it in public there.
And, of course, thatย wholeย Javaris Crittenden thingย happened after he put the final nail in the coffin of the theory that you could win with a shoot-first point guard.
5. Carmelo Anthony
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The only person in the country who watched "The Decision" and apparentlyย came away impressed.ย Maybe even a little jealous.
Because just a couple of weeksย later, the Carmelo trade talk grew from rumor to certainty.ย And theย flames wereย only fanned with oily ragsย whenย other playersย embarrassedย Nuggets owner Stan Kroenke with Melo-to-the-Knicks chants during Melo's wedding, as the groom looked on.ย This bizarre Twitter exchange, in which Anthony offers $5,000 to anyone who will hit a certain woman and then provide video of the incident, isn't helping matters.
Going back to his "stop snitchin" days, Anthony has shown a tendency not to always think before he acts.ย Perhaps not ideal, but it won't get you on the egomaniacs list.ย What lands him here is his low assist numbers for a court leader (remember Denver teammate and fellow egomaniac J.R. Smith basically called 'Melo "selfish" during the 2010 playoffs), as well asย an apparent desire for his very own dog and pony show.
6. Ricky Rubio, Point Guard
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Some might argue Rubio also doesn't deserve to make this list, seeing as he hasn't played a minute in the NBA.ย But I'm going to include him becuase it is this very fact that illustrates his huge ego.
Drafted by the Timberwolves in 2009, Ricky decided to say no thanks to Minnesota.ย Perhaps it was the cold weather.ย Perhaps Rubio wants to see what kinds of moves the Wolves can pull off to make him happy, as he recently indicated when he said, "let's see next year if things gel."ย ย
Fair enough.ย Unless, of course, you're a 19-year-old lottery draft pick.ย And your game, while flashy, isn't exactly a can't-miss prospect.ย Then you just kind of look like a jackass.
7. Paul Pierce, Small Forward
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"Kobe's not the best player in the world.ย I'm the best in the world."
Welcome to the club, Paul.
8. Zach Randolph, Power Forward
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Just when you think Randolph has turned a corner and is finally going to make good on all his pure talent and pure smack talk, a story like this comes along.ย By virtue of his gifts, Randolph has seemingly fallen into a sense of entitlement, on and of the court.
Now with his fourth team, it looks like Zachย may beย destined to go down in history asย the poor man's Derrick Coleman.ย Whoop-dee-damn-doo.
9. Kenyon Martin, Power Forward
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Like Randolph, a massive ego was evident in K-Mart going back to his school days.
When he's not getting the lips of his semi-famous rapper girlfriend tattooed on his neck, he's threatening to assault team managers for playing birthday pranks on him.ย Or calling Mark Cuban a coward.
All in a day's work for the hard-fouling, hard-playing, hard-hitting Nugget.
10. Carlos Boozer, Power Forward
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He may not yell, scream, or commit many third-degree felonies, but that's whyย Boozer is The Quiet Egomaniac.
This terrific article from ESPN tells the full, fairly repugnant story.ย He is known to pad his stats in crunch time, and even steals rebounds away from younger, less-muscled teammates.ย ย During his time in Utah, he openly pined for a trade, but when he couldn't get one and signed a cap-crippler with the Jazz, he STILL talked openly about his desire to play for someone else, mentioning how much he wanted "a raise."
It doesn't take a Google search wizard to find fan sites and threads--from Utah and Cleveland--written by people who just despise this guy.ย
Oh, and let's not forget he screwed over a blind man.
