Captains Of Narcissism: 10 Biggest Egomaniacs in the NBA
As one of the craziest offseasons in NBA history draws to a close (or does it?), a lot of fans are feeling like so many shreds of LeBron James jersey heaped in the corner of an Akron area public house.
You know what happened, so I won't go back over it. But suffice it to say that fans feel used. They feel cheated. Some feel like the players have hit a critical mass of greed and arrogance that -- in this economy, at least -- is creating no small amount of vitriol.
If I was an NBA exec, I might be a little worried that, to the casual public, Kobe Bryant, LeBron James, and Shaquille O'Neal are the faces not only of the league, but of the very idea of megalomania.
The NBA certainly doesn't own any patents on arrogance, but some players have it down to a science, and in a world where even a Joe Schmoe like me needs only nanoseconds to chirp out his feelings to the world, it isn't really a challenge for celebs to place themselves squarely at the center of their own universe.
The following players, listed in no particular order, are all gifted in following their dual callings: basketball, and egomaniacism.
Honorable Mention: Ricky Davis, Shooting Guard
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I know, I know. He's out of the league. But you know what? When you deliberately shoot it off your own rim in an attempt to get a triple double, you've earned a lifetime spot on my ego team. Welcome aboard, Ricky.
1. LeBron James, Small Forward
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I was going to put him toward the end, but then figured it was so easy and obvious that I would just get him out of the way at the beginning.
In any case, maybe you've heard of him. First guy to have his high school games televised on ESPN? First guy to have his free agency announcement televised on ESPN? Interesting symmetry there. What hath we wrought indeed.
The only thing I might add to the South Beach's worth of Internet inches on this topic is an incredulity over the attempts he made at conciliation once he realized what a firestorm he had set off. In a recent issue of GQ, for example, he noted that "I understood that a lot of people would be hurt," and that a possible return to Cleveland some day would be "a nice story." It was all as if to say "if I was a regular peon, I would be upset about me leaving, too." Or, to put it in LeBronese, "if Lebron was a regular peon, and LeBron left Cleveland, LeBron would be upset about LeBron leaving, too."
Even the crocodile tears don't come easily for this guy.
2. Kobe Bryant, Shooting Guard
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Another easy one.
Everyone knows the book on Kobe by now. If the team is winning, he loves his coaches and teammates and the fans and media. If the team is in a funk he, well, he stops shooting. Or he looks to blame others.
Maybe Pau Gasol carrying more than a second banana's share in the Lakers 2010 title run will change Kobe's tune regarding supporting cast members. Maybe it won't. In any case, the self-proclaimed Black Mamba is probably the best player, right now, on the planet. And he knows it.
And if nothing else, he gained a lot of NBA backers this offseason--in June by winning his fifth title, and in July just by standing still.
3. Shaquille O'Neal, Center
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See disclaimer in slides 1 and 2.
If I was ranking these guys, it might be neck and neck between Shaq and LeBron for the top slot. This is the guy who shouted "Pay Me!" at owner Jerry Buss during a game in 2004. A lot of fans and players love him, a lot don't. But in coaching circles, there's apparently a near-consensus that he's a ticking time bomb in the team chemistry lab.
After all, look how many teams he's played for -- Boston is his sixth team.
Sure, he's glad-handing the Celtics faithful now. But give it time.
And sure, he's a dominant player. He could have been the best. But because he always chose to play his way into shape "on the company dime" (his words), he's spending his twilight years as a journeyman, rather than taking victory laps.
4. Gilbert Arenas, Point Guard
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Here's a guy who has such a big ego he actually thought he was above the law. As evidenced by his, you know, mocking it in public there.
And, of course, that whole Javaris Crittenden thing happened after he put the final nail in the coffin of the theory that you could win with a shoot-first point guard.
5. Carmelo Anthony
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The only person in the country who watched "The Decision" and apparently came away impressed. Maybe even a little jealous.
Because just a couple of weeks later, the Carmelo trade talk grew from rumor to certainty. And the flames were only fanned with oily rags when other players embarrassed Nuggets owner Stan Kroenke with Melo-to-the-Knicks chants during Melo's wedding, as the groom looked on. This bizarre Twitter exchange, in which Anthony offers $5,000 to anyone who will hit a certain woman and then provide video of the incident, isn't helping matters.
Going back to his "stop snitchin" days, Anthony has shown a tendency not to always think before he acts. Perhaps not ideal, but it won't get you on the egomaniacs list. What lands him here is his low assist numbers for a court leader (remember Denver teammate and fellow egomaniac J.R. Smith basically called 'Melo "selfish" during the 2010 playoffs), as well as an apparent desire for his very own dog and pony show.
6. Ricky Rubio, Point Guard
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Some might argue Rubio also doesn't deserve to make this list, seeing as he hasn't played a minute in the NBA. But I'm going to include him becuase it is this very fact that illustrates his huge ego.
Drafted by the Timberwolves in 2009, Ricky decided to say no thanks to Minnesota. Perhaps it was the cold weather. Perhaps Rubio wants to see what kinds of moves the Wolves can pull off to make him happy, as he recently indicated when he said, "let's see next year if things gel."
Fair enough. Unless, of course, you're a 19-year-old lottery draft pick. And your game, while flashy, isn't exactly a can't-miss prospect. Then you just kind of look like a jackass.
7. Paul Pierce, Small Forward
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"Kobe's not the best player in the world. I'm the best in the world."
Welcome to the club, Paul.
8. Zach Randolph, Power Forward
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Just when you think Randolph has turned a corner and is finally going to make good on all his pure talent and pure smack talk, a story like this comes along. By virtue of his gifts, Randolph has seemingly fallen into a sense of entitlement, on and of the court.
Now with his fourth team, it looks like Zach may be destined to go down in history as the poor man's Derrick Coleman. Whoop-dee-damn-doo.
9. Kenyon Martin, Power Forward
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Like Randolph, a massive ego was evident in K-Mart going back to his school days.
When he's not getting the lips of his semi-famous rapper girlfriend tattooed on his neck, he's threatening to assault team managers for playing birthday pranks on him. Or calling Mark Cuban a coward.
All in a day's work for the hard-fouling, hard-playing, hard-hitting Nugget.
10. Carlos Boozer, Power Forward
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He may not yell, scream, or commit many third-degree felonies, but that's why Boozer is The Quiet Egomaniac.
This terrific article from ESPN tells the full, fairly repugnant story. He is known to pad his stats in crunch time, and even steals rebounds away from younger, less-muscled teammates. During his time in Utah, he openly pined for a trade, but when he couldn't get one and signed a cap-crippler with the Jazz, he STILL talked openly about his desire to play for someone else, mentioning how much he wanted "a raise."
It doesn't take a Google search wizard to find fan sites and threads--from Utah and Cleveland--written by people who just despise this guy.
Oh, and let's not forget he screwed over a blind man.
