ZAKUMI'S DIARY: EPISODE SIX

REVIEW OF ROUND THREE AND A PREVIEW OF THE 1/16th STAGE

48 matches played, 101 goals produced, 16 teams have fallen and 16 other teams are set to battle for the ultimate price of a World Cup trophy (plus some fat cheque of course) and bragging rights for the next four years. We are at the business end of the “you-know-what”. This is where heroes shine and villains fall. The road to glory has been paved and he who dares to dream will be crowned World Champions on 11^th July in Soccer City Stadium, Jo’burg/Soweto. Play time is over, bore draws won’t suffice, sluggish play won’t be tolerated. It’s the 1/16^th stage of the World Cup, the real World Cup starts now. The cry of the vuvuzela is going down (or so it seems), the disappointed teams and fans are going home, but the excitement of the World Cup is rising by the day. I’m excited, I’m scared, my palms are sweaty, my eyelids are twitching, my heart beats faster, don’t you get it? it’s the knockout stage, for crying out loud. But before we look into the games in the 1^st knockout stage, here’s a review of the last round of group matches.

REVIEW OF ROUND THREE

GROUP A: Uruguay defeated Mexico 1-0 to grab top spot in Group A. A goal from Luiz Suarez was enough to separate the two South American sides. South Africa’s impressive 2-1 win over an emotionally/tactically depleted French side wasn’t enough to hand them qualification into the knockout stage.

France, who were finalists in last year’s World Cup are already out of the tournament. Apparently they checked in at the airport before their last group match. It’s a shame they allowed infighting and mutiny to ruin their chances of conquering the World. “Allez les bleus”, I mean go all the way home. Aurevoir!!!

GROUP B: Argentina have so far been the most consistent team in this tournament. Maradona made a couple of changes to his starting eleven but they still managed to get 2 goals in the Greeks goalpost. True to our expectations Argentina finished the preliminary rounds with maximum 9 points. It looks like Maradona is on course to go naked on the streets of Buenos Aires.

Nigeria disappointed Africa by drawing 2-2 with South Korea. After taking the lead earlier on, they became reluctant to take the game by the scruff of the neck. They missed too many chances, Yakubu Ayigbeni being the worst culprit. How and why he missed that sitter still baffles me. That miss is officially the worst miss of the century. I hope he doesn’t get lynched by some angry mob back home. Contrary to what most people believe, I think football is more than just a game. Ask the ghost of that Colombian footballer- Andres Escobar Saldarriaga. 

GROUP C:  “Cometh the hour, cometh the man”. “Cometh the 90^th minute, cometh Landon Donovan”. It took the United States 90 minutes to come up with a 1-0 win over Algeria. That game was never going to be easy for the Americans. Algeria had everything to prove and they almost did. But just when they thought the dream was over for them, “Barack” Donovan turned up and screamed “yes we can”. Donovan scored, Clinton screamed in the VIP booth and the Algerians were down hearted.   Clinton said he cheered and celebrated so vigorously when Landon Donovan scored that he had to drink hot tea with lemon for an hour to get his voice back. No comments for now.

Finally Capello’s “Three Lions” roared like big lions and not cubs. Capello’s bold decision to leave Emile Heskey on the bench and play Jermaine Defoe in his stead paid off. Well, actually I wont exactly call that a bold decision. Heskey has scored only 7 goals in about 62 games for England and even Rene Higuita (former Colombia goalkeeper) has scored 9 goals in 68 caps. Higuita is also reputed for inventing the scorpion kick, a clearance where the keeper jumps forward, arches his legs over his head and in doing so, kicks the ball away with his heels. Heskey is famed for eeerm……(scratching my head). The English are too obsessed with playing long balls to a target man (what they call English Centre Forward).  Sometimes you need to vary your tactics and that’s what Capello did. James Milner was by far the best player on the pitch. He got a couple of quality crosses into the box. Defoe got on the end of one of those crosses and that’s what got England into the next round. On the whole, they played with so much grace, spirit and an absolute commitment to attack. It’s amazing how much the English are ready to give out when you give them beer. “Headmaster” Capello finally got the trick. Now the Italian thinks England can win this World Cup, hmmm  Joachim Loew has a lot to say about that.

GROUP D: I swear I saw Mezut Ozil reciting some strange words just before he scored that beauty of a goal. He’s technically gifted plus he’s got a good eye (excuse the pun) for goal. Ozil looks like a character from J.K Rowlings’ “Harry Potter”. Maybe he’s Harry Porter himself. Magic wands should be banned from dressing rooms. FIFA can you hear me? Ozil is cheating, where is the fair play here? In the game against Ghana, the Germans looked beatable but the Black Stars failed to convert their chances. How long will we complain about the lack of cutting edge in the final third of the pitch? How long eeh? Asamoah Gyan, I’m talking to you.

The Black Stars would have been eliminated if not for Australia’s 2-1 win over Serbia. Many fans tipped Serbia to qualify alongside Germany but the Serbs failed to live up to their tag as Dark Horses at this World Cup. The Socceroos on the other hand earned a well deserved win. At least they have something to show to their new female Prime Minister. Don’t ask me her name. I haven’t bothered to check.

GROUP E: The Italians should be in Rome by this time. I don’t what to believe they are still in South Africa. They shouldn’t be seen anywhere near a World Cup match, venue, TV, magazine, or anything of that sort. The Azzuris disgraced their country after failing to win a single match at the World Cup. The Italians have a wonderful national anthem, too bad it couldn’t inspire them to get the job done. As the current World Champions you’d have expected them to defend their title with all jealousy rather they put up a performance that suggested they were thinking of the mozzarella, spaghetti and cheese in Palermo rather than winning a successive World Cup trophy in South Africa. “Addio Azzuri”. The Slovaks planned, designed and executed the downfall of the Italians with Vittek and Hamsik being the masterminds behind the entire plot.  The 3-2 scoreline is even flattering for the Italians. They should have lost by more goals. They played like “3 tenors” singing from different song sheets. The Slovaks progressed as bridesmaid to Paraguay. Good for them.

New Zealand exited the World Cup with an impressive run of games. A 0-0 drawn game against Paraguay ensured that they leave the competition with their chins up, chests out and wide smiles. Unlike the Italians they continually punched above their weight and in so doing secured three draws from three games. Not a bad testimonial for a team that was written off by all and sundry. Well, they placed third in the group and if for nothing at all they can boast of coming ahead of (not so) mighty Italy.

GROUP F: And I quote “I’m tipping Japan to take the second slot, I hope they don’t disappoint. The Japanese might just be the surprise package at this World Cup” Who said that? Eerm, not a powdered football pundit on ITV, SuperSports or BBC, this writer did. Yes I did say the Blue Samurai were going to surprise us and they did. Neisuke Honda’s freekick? Endo’s freekick? Japan’s 3-1 win over the Danish Dynamite. Surpriiiiiiiiise!!!!! Whiles the English drank beer to get themselves in the right mental state to win their last group match, the Japs went for a simple glass of “suchi” and still they won their game with style. In summary, the “Danish cookies” crumbled under speed of the Honda. Good game by the Japanese.

Cameroon lost 2-1 to Holland in a game that [                                                     ](fill in the blank)

GROUP G: Ivory Coast 3-0 Korea DPR. What more can I say? Good but not good enough.

The Brazil-Portugal game was a total waste of time. Honestly I didn’t enjoy that game one bit. There were too many fouls in there. We were deprived of the free flowing football that most of us were expecting. No goals to celebrate and few flashes of individual brilliance. The game was too feisty. I’m voting the Portugal-Brazil game as the “worst best game” of the tournament. What happened to the Samba beats? To add salt to injury, the FIFA technical committee voted Ronaldo as the man of the match. Arrrgh!!! You know I love “C.Row” but please,  Lucio should have won that award. Probably they were watching a different game. 

GROUP H: I heard “Chile's players are using a mud-stained flag, rescued from the aftermath of February's earthquake in the south of their country, to inspire them at the World Cup”. I now understand why the play with so much drive and purpose. It’s in the ‘mud-stained flag’ eh?. See how much some players are committed to their national duties. Maybe France, Spain, Italy and even England should get a ‘mud-stained flag’ next to their training camps. They had a good game against Spain but thanks to goalkeeping errors they conceded 2 goals against the Spaniards. Spain did well but in all honesty, I’m beginning to doubt their credentials. I wasn’t particularly impressed with their game. The Furia Roja aren’t playing like world beaters. A 2-1 win over Chile sure looks good on paper but in my opinion it’s not enough to strike fear in the hearts of their rivals. 

The Swiss closed their world cup accounts with a 0-0 drawn game against Honduras. After playing 2 of their matches on the back foot, many would have expected the Swiss to go out and get some much needed goals. A win could have enhanced their chances but Honduras had plans of their own. For both teams this is where the train stops. FULL STOP.

TEAM OF THE ROUND:

Too bad I can’t bring you my team of the round, reason being, I didn’t watch all 16 games of the last round of matches in the group stages. However I’ll go ahead and randomly name a few players who I think I’ve been excellent in this round of matches. My team of the round will definitely return in the next edition of ZAKUMI’S DIARY. Fear not!!

Siphiwe Tshabalala, Katlego Mphela, Keisuke Honda, Yasuhito Endo, Lionel Messi, Lucio, Carles Puyol, David Villa, Mezut Ozil, John Mensah, Jonathan Mensah, James Milner, Jermain Defoe, Robert Vittek Landon Donovan, Marek Hamsik, Vladimir Weiss, Didier Drogba,  Fabio Coentrao, and Arturo Vidal  

PREVIEW OF THE 1/16^thSTAGE

26^TH June 2010, 14:00 GMT: URUGUAY VS SOUTH KOREA

This one is definitely going to be exciting. Both teams have a real chance of progressing hence I expect an open game. It looks even on paper but I think the Uruguayans will win it. I expect Diego Forlan and Luis Suárez to continue with their impressive form.

26^th June 2010, 18:30 GMT: GHANA VS USA

The Americans are a hard working side. They have the talent and confidence to win any game. They play as a unit and I expect them to put in a fight. Then again with the whole of Africa behind Ghana, I’m tipping the Black Stars to win this one. I don’t expect too many goals though. A 2-1 win in favour of Africa. I’m under no illusions that the Black Stars will make Africa proud. (read my lips) GHANA WILL WIN THIS GAME!!!!

27^th June 2010, 14:00 GMT: GERMANY VS ENGLAND

The old Anglo-Saxon rivalry has been renewed. Games involving England and Germany have always been dramatic. Most people are expecting this game to go to penalty shootouts but I don’t think that will happen. I expect a winner in 90minutes of play. Maybe extra time but not penalties. I’m tipping Rooney to finally come alive and score his first goal at this tournament. I’ve a “bad” feeling the English will win this won.

[England-Germany rivalry requires no elucidation but you might want to check this out]

“The two nations are fated to collide. That 1996 semi-final at Wembley ended with England losing yet another penalty shoot-out as Germany went on to win the competition. Since then, England have beaten them at Euro 2000, hammered them 5-1 in Munich (2001), and, in 2008, inflicted Germany's first defeat in Berlin for 35 years. The Germans have retaliated by winning the last game played at the old Wembley in 2000 and consigning England to their first defeat at the new £757m cathedral”

27^th June, 18:30 GMT: ARGENTINA VS MEXICO

It’s very risky to predict a tie between two South American countries. I don’t think I have the balls to call this one. The Argentines have been impressive, fact, but the Mexicans are not a team to be toyed with. I see a very close game and a red card too. Who will win? I can’t tell.

28^th June, 14:00 GMT: HOLLAND VS SLOVAKIA

 After defeating the Italians, I’m sure the Slovaks will fancy their chances against Holland. The Slovaks play a very compact game and they are very swift on the ball. Having said that I think the Orange delight should be able to overcome the Slovaks. The Dutch have been one of the efficient teams at this tournament and I don’t expect them to go home so soon. A win in favour of the Flying Dutchmen, that’s my prediction.

28^th June, 18:30 GMT: BRAZIL VS CHILE

Samba football or no samba football, I expect Brazil to win. Chile will give it a go but the quality in this Brazil side will win it for Dunga. They are efficient rather than flamboyant and that’s what will work in their favour against this solid Chilean side.

29^th June, 14:00 GMT: PARAGUAY VS JAPAN

I’m still sticking to my Blue Samurai slant. Okada’s boys will do the job, trust me. The Paraguayans shouldn’t underestimate the Japs at all cos they’ll only do that at their own peril. Japan will win this tie. Honda please pass me a glass of “suchi”, I think I’m thirsty.

29^th June 2010, 18:30 GMT: PORTUGAL VS SPAIN

I confidently predicted that Spain will win the World Cup. A confidence I don’t necessarily feel but I like to express. It makes me look like someone who knows what he’s talking about. Oh but seriously I know what I’m talking about. I think Spain’s 2-1 win over Chile should be the seminal moment in their World Cup campaign. They’ll probably justify their tag as World Cup favourites in this fixture. Portugal battled their way through the duel with Brazil but I don’t expect that to happen in this game. Spain will win it and I’m confident about this prediction. HALA ESPANA!!!

That should be all for now.

JUDE ANIM