Fancy a Beer? It's the Bleacher Report NASCAR Drinking Game!

As a fan of an adult beverage or 14 and as a fan of NASCAR, I’ve developed a small drinking game for NASCAR. Think the “Withnail & I” drinking game (where you drink everytime someone else has one), except for it's stock cars. And a quick piece of advice: don't drive home. 

It’s for all drinkers of NASCAR’s official beverages – Coors, Budweiser and Miller. And If you’re that way inclined, you can do a shot of Crown Royal, Jim Beam or Jack Daniel’s, but we’d advise against it for the obvious reasons.

Before we start though, can we all have a big long gulp and say: “Gentlemen! Start your engines!”

HOW TO PLAY

1 SIP (for every time that….)

NASCAR goes to a commercial break.

That if it isn’t FOX, that every commentator at the start fails miserably to emulate Darrell Waltrip’s great “Boogity! Boogity! Boogity!”

2 SIPS

NASCAR announcers use the word: “Victory Lane”.

NASCAR announcers talk about Dale Earnhardt Jr as “Junior”, or mention his father. Double if they mention the Daytona 500 in 2001, and triple if they manage to mention how much better he is at Hendrick than DEI.

There is a caution for debris on the track.

3 SIPS

When the drivers moan about the Car Of Tomorrow – there’s always something.

When a driver says: “I had a good car”, despite the engine blowing out after only 20 laps. CHUG your beer if the driver actually says: “Our car was terrible and everything who put this car together should be dragged out to the car park and shot.”

4 SIPS

Juan Pablo Montoya gets in contact with another driver. Or the commentators call him “Juan”. CHUG your beer if he gets in a fight with Kevin Harvick or any other driver.

If the driver is pointed out by car number instead of driver name (ie the “88’s really battling out the 29 for fourth place but I really can’t believe that the 16’s so far behind the pack. Those bastards should pull out a #44 and shoot him!).

Tony Stewart complains about another driver. He'll pick on his teammates, too. 

If there's a fight between drivers during or after the race. If there's a fight before, you're CHUGGING.

5 SIPS

When the drivers mention every sponsor’s name on the damned car after the race. CHUG if the driver goes through the post-race interviews without mentioning the sponsors.

When God gets thanked for the victory. Or the winning driver is “proud” of his team. Call me cynical, but there must be one guy in the pit crew that the driver can’t stand.

A GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE

If your driver wins the race. If your team – not your driver – wins the race, you don’t touch a thing. Sorry – drivers only. However, feel free to celebrate with your gloating friend if your driver doesn’t win. Oh, and this doesn’t really count for Kyle Busch: he’s looking so good this season that on wins alone he could put you in rehab for, like, ever.

If Dale Earnhardt Jr wins another race in 2008. Unless you're rooting for the 42 other drivers.

A SHOT

If you’ve fallen asleep/grown frustrated/ got bored/ start thinking about NASCAR's effect on the environment 250 laps into the 500 lap race. But why would you? You’re a NASCAR fan!