Jose Mourinho And Real Madrid Are a Match Made In Heaven

Jose Mourinho is a meticulous coach, an attention-seeking man who likes his employer to have deep pockets. Real Madrid have super deep pockets and a great stage for Mourinho to strut his stuff. What Real Madrid don't have is their desired level of success in the past few years, which incidentally Jose does. They both hate Barcelona with a passion. Surely, little can keep this match made in heaven apart for too long!

As Jose announced his formal resignation from the current European champions, Internazionale, and made his intentions of coaching Real Madrid crystal clear, there is no doubt Real Madrid just received their first bit of good news since Barcelona's semifinal elimination at the hands of this very man. After David Villa went to Barcelona with Fabregas close on his heels, Frank Ribery signed a new contract with Bayern putting that boring saga to rest, and knowing that Fernando Torres would never sign for Atletico's rivals, Real Madrid knew that there was little left in the market for their annual shopping therapy. Except of course, for Jose Mourinho.

Of course, the fact that Manuel Pellegrini set up a pretty good side, which put up a sterling title challenge this year and amassed 96 points isn't going to matter to Real. It didn't when they fired Del Bosque. It didn't when they fired Capello. They need a change. They need that happy feeling one gets after shopping. The club needs it. The owner needs it. More importantly, the fans need it. Whether or not the players need it is an entire different matter. 

Of course Mourinho comes with his share of brilliance. A man who hates Barcelona more than me, one who believes he can tell God to shut up and certainly one with an unparalleled understanding of the game, is just the gin and tonic Real Madrid need after seeing Barcelona pick up the La Liga trophy again.

And what makes Mourinho an even better match for Real is his ego. When he enters the room, he owns it. He owns every person, every thing, every bit of air in the bloody room. And the fact that coaches over the past few years have seen their egos run over by those of a demanding crowd and a bunch of fat-cat players that Real fawn over so much means that by the end of the year the coach is pretty much a nervous wreck, probably waking up with terrible dreams in the middle of the night, wetting his bed at the same time and cancelling his subscription of Spanish language papers entirely.

But Jose is not like that. You tell Jose something he doesn't like and see him wag his middle finger in your face. You try telling Jose that he's a loser. Right now his confidence is sky-high and he knows he can air his massive bollocks at Real Madrid and ensure that over his tenure there, he won't risk losing his masculinity. He can tell a player what to do. He won't stand for any tantrums from spoiled players. He will bring them all down with his iron fist and ensure that they all obey his divine command. He will drill discipline into their airy brains and get them to work like horses. 

Which makes me say that if Real can snare this man by winking and pointing seductively at him, he's no doubt the catch of the season. No Villa, no Fab, and perhaps no Torres this season. And yet Real will be smiling.