Snakes Alive: English Press Have Another Go at South Africa 2010

THE English tabloids continued their unrelenting attack on South Africa 2010 today...with a hissy fit!

The Sun, Britain’s best-selling newspaper, raved today: “England’s South African World Cup base is surrounded by some of the world's deadliest snakes. Killer pythons, spitting cobras, puff adders, and black mambas hunt around Bafokeng Sports Campus in Rustenburg.”

In another lurid tale calculated to prevent any last-minute fans flying over for Africa’s first World Cup, they ran the story under the headline: “They think it’s all cobra, it hiss now!” a corruption of the famous Kenneth Wolstenholme commentary line when England won the 1966 World Cup: “They think it’s all over, it is now.”

The Sun claims the medical unit at England’s base has been stocked with vials of anti-venom in case players are bitten. They say pitches will be checked before sessions and quote a Dr. Keba Mokgethi as saying: "We have prepared for emergencies. Anti-venoms are among the medicines stocked. We will sit with the team and tell them they may encounter snakes."

England arrive at their luxury base near Rustenburg on June 3 and open their campaign against the USA on June 11 in the Bafokeng Royal Sports Palace stadium three miles down the road.

Apparently the base's electric fence stops pythons but not smaller poisonous species. And in case you weren’t already checking under the table, they mention the black mamba has enough venom in a bite to kill TWO soccer squads.

I've just sent the lads at The Sun a message telling them to contact me if they want a real story about the Royal Marang complex.

No earthquakes, no bloodbaths, no snakes. Just a very good training facility at altitude for England to prepare for a World Cup they might actually win. Despite this tosh.