Eliminate NFL Overtime, Except In Playoffs

I have never heard so many snivelers as I have heard talking about the potential change to the NFL's overtime rule.

Would Vince Lombardi have ever favored the "do-overs," as Carl Banks calls overtime, that the NFL now allows?

Only in the playoffs is sudden death an obvious necessity, for not getting the job done.

In regular season, overtime is a namby-pamby excuse for mediocre play, and this generation's need for "do-overs."

Overtime in regular season is like taking a test over because you got a "C," rather than an "A."

It's like having a teacher who believes that "everyone is a winner" and that no one should lose.

It's like your school eliminating dodge ball because one kid's mommy complained that Bowser got smacked in the face, and that's sooo unfair.

Poor babies, but that's what we get for inventing "rewind" on VCRs.

I pity our great unrepresentative democracy that more people are not as astute as I.

That NFL fans would feel any different than me, an esteemed researcher in the field of observing public opinion and measuring it with unfailing non-empirical faulty reasoning, is an outrage.

So what if a coach plays for a tie? That's called strategy.

So what if a tie throws the playoff scenario into havoc? That's called "Just Win, Baby!"

As for the excitement that overtime brings to the game? Poppycock.

The game is exciting enough. If you need more excitement, watch Tiger Woods.

Don't you get enough adrenalin each time your mobile device goes off with yet another insipid Adam Schefter Tweet? (Nothing against Schefter. He's cool.)

It's OK that you have short attention spans; as for the older fans who exhibit the same serious symptoms of dysfunction, I have a book that is soon to be published that will explain your ailments.

I pity you all. I deeply feel your pain. So much it hurts, like a pain in the proverbial you-know-what.

Lest I get off on some strange tangent, let this serious football fan, who remembers Joe Montana stuffing America's team, tell you a little something, boys and girls.

Either you win, lose, or tie. Period. It's the Vince Lombardi school. There are no do-overs in this man's sport.

If you don't like it, start a pro flag-football league, loser.

It's reward and punishment. If you do well, you win; if you are half-baked, you tie; and if you are the Minnesota Vikings, you lose.