Kane vs. The Rock: Which WWE Superstar Would You Rather Vote For?

Anthony Mango@@ToeKneeManGoFeatured ColumnistAugust 9, 2018

Images courtesy of WWE.com

Oddly enough, WWE Superstars and the political arena are no strangers to each other, as there has been plenty of crossover between the two over the years.

The President of the United States, Donald Trump, is a WWE Hall of Famer—as are former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura.

Linda McMahon, Bob Backlund, Jerry Lawler, Rhyno, Dolph Ziggler, JBL and tons of other wrestling personalities have dabbled in politics in various ways, and even Drew Gulak's character mimicks the average politician.

But the two Superstars who are causing the most amount of buzz in the world of politics and WWE are Kane and The Rock.

Kane—real name Glenn Jacobs—was recently elected mayor of Knox County, Tennessee, while the concept of The Rock running for president has become increasingly more serious as time goes on.

For all we know, there could be an election down the line where Kane and The Rock will be up against each other.

If so, what would their strengths and weaknesses be? Which one of the two would stand the better chance of getting your vote based on their WWE tenures?

Before getting started, it's important to stress that this is entirely a humorous tale of the tape and not a serious discussion on ideologies and government regulation. The character of Kane is not representational of Mayor Jacobs, nor should The Rock's WWE career be grounds to influence anyone's view of Dwayne Johnson.

Keeping all that in mind, let's take a look at the two WWE legends and compare our options for this imaginary ballot.

                          

Judging a Book by Its Cover

Even regarding something as serious as who runs our country, there will always be people who vote based predominantly on their first impression of what the candidates look like and how they come off.

At face value, The Rock is leaps and bounds more electable than Kane. He's a good-looking and fashionable charmer, while Kane predominantly wore a mask and ring attire featuring flames and barbed wire.

Neither looks like a politician at first glance, but one is certainly less creepy.
Neither looks like a politician at first glance, but one is certainly less creepy.Credit: WWE.com

Kane is a monster—someone we would all run away from because he's carrying a rusty hook or lighting things on fire. He's about as far from someone who should be in office as humanly possible, particularly because he comes off as inhuman more often than not.

However, the Corporate Kane version of the character was unmasked, clean-cut and in a suit, appearing not only much more respectable but downright perfect for a man looking to take charge and get your vote. In that regard, Corporate Kane has a massive advantage over the flashier Hollywood jerk of a character The Rock has portrayed at times, who comes off as more glitz and glamour than government.

Corporate Kane beats The Rock, but Demon Kane stands no chance.

              

Resume and Experience

A solid education and professional background is integral to establishing one's mettle and trustworthiness, too.

Neither character comes from any sort of political background, but The Rock was at least pitched with a dose of reality as a graduate of the University of Miami with a bachelor's degree in general studies in criminology and physiology.

Meanwhile, Kane mostly grew up in an asylum after nearly being killed in the family funeral home arson that took the lives of The Undertaker's parents, leading to their rivalry.

To put it lightly, that isn't the type of environment you would want your candidate to have spent their formative yearsmost politicians talk about their humble, hardworking family and the American dream.

Even when transitioning to the Corporate Kane character, this backstory was retained and no better qualifications were brought to light for The Devil's Favorite Demon. At best, the lines could be blurred to bring up his former gimmick as the terrible dentist Isaac Yankem DDS, but that should be considered an entirely different entity.

With a troubled background like that, there's nothing Kane could say to let it be known that the past is the past. This puts The Rock in a much more favorable spot, as this particular part of the race isn't even remotely close.

Solid point for The Rock.

            

Public Speaking

Charisma can go a long way in getting a candidate elected because it helps to think that the politician is talking to you and not at you.

In terms of public speaking in general, The Rock is hands down the better of the two, carving his name in WWE history as one of the best to ever pick up a microphone, while Kane spent a portion of his career mute or speaking only with the assistance of a mechanical voice box.

He would go on to be able to cut normal promos, but he never came close to matching the intensity and lure The Rock had as he captivated audiences every night.

For the most part, this entirely depends on what version of Kane is on the campaign trail. If it's The Big Red Machine, he's scaring everybody off and is far too intimidating, but if it's Corporate Kane, he has some advantages over The Rock in that he's less bombastic.

Still, the sheer comfort and confidence The Rock exudes would be more than enough to make this one of his main strengths no matter what incarnation of Kane he's up against.

The Rock gets another point.

                

People Skills

The job of a politician is to be a representative of the masses and act on behalf of the people.

Both Kane and The Rock have been babyfaces and heels at various times throughout their careers, so they have been booed and cheered depending on their behavior.

The Rock first came into WWE as a smiling babyface and was turned on to the point that people chanted "Die, Rocky! Die" and forced him to go down a dark path, not being able to handle the criticism.

Eventually, he did become The People's Champion, which pretty much speaks for itself and explains his success beyond WWE.

It's hard to say the guy who wins People's Choice Awards doesn't have an advantage here.
It's hard to say the guy who wins People's Choice Awards doesn't have an advantage here.Vince Bucci/Associated Press

Kane, on the other hand, has always been a violent sociopath with a penchant for destruction who gets pleasure out of mistreating others in a way that the average politician wouldn't receive gratification from, as bad as some of them are.

He's a loner who hasn't gotten along with many people over the years. He has a rocky relationship with his equally devilish brother, The Undertaker, so family values aren't something he can pitch as a strong suit. Even with Daniel Bryan, the partnership revolves largely around their inability to get along, showing that Kane can't be trusted to reach across party lines for a compromise.

The only time Kane has worked well with others has been when he was a stooge of The Authority, which made him more of a "yes man" who blindly follows orders rather than fighting for what is right.

By and large, The Rock will sing you a song, make you laugh and get you energized for the task at hand. Kane will make you feel afraid for your life.

This one easily goes to The Rock, who would nail The People's Elbow on anyone who stood in his way toward winning the election.

Another point for The Rock.

               

Credit: WWE.com

Leadership Qualities

Having the respect of the people is one thing, but being able to do something with that power is another.

When choosing which candidate you should vote for, leadership qualities should be examined.

The ability to organize and manage a team of followers to go over ideas, reach a consensus, formulate plans and execute the best strategy is one of the most important factors to weigh.

Kane was able to win the tag team titles on 12 different occasions alongside Bryan, The Undertaker, Mankind, Big Show, X-Pac, The Hurricane and Rob Van Dam.

The Rock was less successful in this regard, only winning the twin straps five times combined with Mankind, The Undertaker and Chris Jericho.

Neither wrestler had much of a responsible controlling element over his tag team partners. Their teams mostly comprised equal players or were short-lived comedic duos that only temporarily worked before their differences led to splits. However, The Rock was once the leader of The Nation of Domination, having overthrown Faarooq before kicking him out of the group and even bringing in Owen Hart to freshen things up.

He was excommunicated down the line by Mark Henry and D'Lo Brown when The Nation dissolved, but The Rock bounced back quickly enough by joining Vince McMahon's Corporation stable.

Similar to how The Authority operated with Corporate Kane as a member, both consisted of the controlling McMahon Family's stranglehold and oppression over fan favorites.

While The Rock was The Corporation's star champion and preferred face of the company with plenty of influence, he had no jurisdiction or responsibilities.

On the contrary, during his time served under Triple H and Stephanie McMahon, Kane was given the position of director of operations and was frequently in charge of Monday Night Raw, similar to how Constable Baron Corbin asserts control today.

Your vote would likely come down to your perception of who is the better leader.

Would you rather go for the person who can inspire the people and get the public on his side for social issues and support like The Rock, or do you value someone with a more administrative approach who will give out official mandates and force people to follow protocol and policy under his regime?

Corporate Kane gets this point.

Credit: WWE.com

                

Goals, Aspirations and Campaign Promises

This is where everything falls apart and proves that neither WWE character should run for office—they would be horrible choices to give control to.

Neither The Rock nor Kane would be interested in the economy, immigration, gun control, healthcare, protecting the environment or any of the important issues.

The Rock's agenda is to make fun of people, stroke his ego and be the top of the food chain. Kane seeks out any means to dish out a savage beating to anyone foolish enough to get in his way.

There would be no discussion on unemployment rates, lobbyists or foreign policy. As long as The Rock is the man, that would be all that matters while everything crumbles beneath him. Kane, meanwhile, would actively light the match to make the world burn.

In any election between The Rock and Kane, the people they would govern would be doomed.

Flip a coin and watch as the country crumbles.

              

What if Dwayne Johnson and Glenn Jacobs Ran Against Each Other?

It's a good thing Kane and The Rock are just fictional characters and the men portraying them are unalike their wrestling gimmicks.

Anything can happen in WWE, but politics is even harder to predict. Campaigns crumble because someone said "yeah" too enthusiastically, scandals and dirty deeds ruin images and there can be entire discussions on voter turnout, fraudulent polls and so on.

Setting that aside, Johnson has the people in the palm of his hand. He can seemingly do no wrong—aside from Baywatch and Skyscraper, apparently.

His celebrity status has been mostly all positive, and he comes off as someone who could succeed extremely well in today's political climate.

Credit: WWE.com

Jacobs, though, would go into this with legitimate political experience, which is invaluable beyond measure in comparison to Johnson's unfamiliarity with the scene.

During his term as mayor, he will make powerful connections that will aid him in all future endeavors, particularly if his party deems him a successful representative.

The more support he garners from within the Republican party, the more he would put Johnson's likely Democratic run at risk of looking like it has no foundation to stand on.

Plenty of elections have seen the more experienced person win, but there have been just as many upsets to throw this all for a loop, so it's impossible to know what would happen.


Whom would you choose from between Kane and The Rock, and would your vote differ from an election between Jacobs and Johnson? Cast your vote in the comments section below!

                   

Anthony Mango is the owner of the wrestling website Smark Out Moment and the host of the podcast show Smack Talk on YouTube, iTunes and Stitcher. You can follow him on Facebook and elsewhere for more.

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