PL Hangover: Will Anyone Stop Man City as Guardiola's Genius Clicks into Gear?

"When a true genius appears, you can know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in a confederacy against him."

The epigraph from Jonathan Swift's essay Thoughts on Various Subjects, Moral and Diverting predates Pep Guardiola's gilded arrival in Manchester by over 300 years. It is a sentiment no less perspicacious for the passing of time. As football's confederacy of dunces dwindles in number with each Manchester City victory, it is likely meetings could soon be held in a telephone box.

Confederacy chairman Jose Mourinho was unavailable for comment, away on damning business in Watford.

Although never a fully paid-up member myself, in the interest of full disclosure, one feels compelled to concede having greeted Guardiola's defection to English football more with indifference than relish.

To the Guardiola zealot, it's Pep's way or the highway to a lost afternoon debating the merits of a high press or counter-press. By this point, the only thing I'd like to press is my temple between fingers and pray for silence. There are only so many times a disciple can present a laminated heat map to proclaim the genius of a false nine or fake full-back before it becomes boring to the point of nausea.

To admire his zeitgeist-forming work at Barcelona and Bayern Munich through a prism of ill-informed scepticism is no easy task but just about possible if you put your mind to it with full commitment. Apparently.

The notion that it is probably easier to get your players to play like Lionel Messi or Philipp Lahm if they are actually Lionel Messi or Philipp Lahm has been one his detractors have clung to their bosom for years. It's like an anti-hipster comfort blanket.

In Guardiola's defence, getting Sergio Aguero to play like peak Sergio Aguero is one thing; coaxing a passable Ronald Koeman impersonation out of Aleksandar Kolarov, as he did on Saturday, is another thing altogether.

Manchester United boss Mourinho would settle for Paul Pogba giving a passable impersonation of a Paul Pogba impersonator.

The same people wondered, only half in jest, whether Guardiola could cope with a cold Tuesday night in Stoke. But given Stoke City are a doppelganger for Barcelona B these days and were squashed 4-1 at the bet365 Stadium in City's second game of the season (albeit on a warm Saturday), it is no more than an exhausted cliche. This is the currency the confederacy deals in. 

When Guardiola started with Kolarov at centre-half against Sunderland on the opening day of the season, the sound of no hands clapping was almost as deafening as those that were being rubbed together in glee. He'd only been here two minutes and was acting the smart arse. The sight of left-back Gael Clichy popping up in central midfield had Sunderland boss David Moyes unsure whether to be amused or affronted.

Paddy McNair's last-gasp own goal ensured Guardiola's tenure as Manchester City manager began in victory. Cue a slew of column inches dedicated to telling Guardiola how the Premier League is a different beast to LaLiga or the Bundesliga. Four games and 13 goals later, he'd likely concur—it's even easier.

Saturday's flawless 4-0 victory over Bournemouth, a first domestic clean sheet of the campaign, saw Guardiola become only the second manager after Carlo Ancelotti to win his first five Premier League matches. For the season, it is eight wins from as many games for City, with 10 more goals having been plundered in three UEFA Champions League fixtures.

Aware City's impeccable start this season only matches last term's under Manuel Pellegrini, it's unlikely the club's training ground will be covered in celebratory bunting on Monday morning.

"That will not happen," the City manager said, per James Ducker of the Daily Telegraph, when asked of complacency (not bunting) potentially creeping in. "We will not think it is easy because I am here. I have heard for a long time that the Premier League is the toughest, so we know that it is September and we have won nothing."

That Saturday's win was achieved with the spine of City's recent title-winning sides conspicuous only in absence speaks volumes. Joe Hart (sent to Coventry Torino), Vincent Kompany (made of papier mache), David Silva (injured) and Aguero (on the Football Association's naughty step) were all missing from City's starting XI. No one noticed.

Guardiola spoke recently of how Liverpool and Tottenham Hotspur hold an advantage over his City side, as they do Manchester United and Chelsea, in that they are further down the line in terms of their respective evolutions under new managers. Presumably, he thinks Arsenal are Arsenal and are therefore not worth worrying about.

While it's nice of him to put a consoling arm around the shoulders of Mourinho and Chelsea manager Antonio Conte, the pair will be acutely aware City are so far ahead of schedule their own sides look embryonic in comparison.

Had Guardiola been foreman on the Great Wall of China job, he'd have had it up in a fortnight.

In the space of five league games, this has unmistakably become a Pep Guardiola side. That is not merely bad news for City's rivals but positively catastrophic.

Forget free-flowing football and four goals so stylish none would have looked out of place of the cover of Vogue, Guardiola's signature was never more present than in the opening seconds of Saturday's game, when a ridiculously high press (shoot me—I'm at it now) saw Bournemouth concede possession no sooner than Harry Arter had played the ball back from kick-off.

"We played seriously, like a small team when we didn't have the ball," Guardiola said post-match, per James Robson of the Manchester Evening News. "People are so proud when these famous people are running so hard without the ball."

Running hard might sound like the most unremarkable request on Guardiola's part, but you suspect informing the Premier League's finest and richest footballers that being extravagantly gifted isn't enough is akin to asking Scarlett Johansson for a hand with the dishes. In fairness, she'd probably tell Pep to take off his Marigolds and grab a beer if he asked her.

In comparison, Chelsea are no more than a semi-skimmed version of Conte's all-conquering Juventus, while early promise in Mourinho's Manchester United tenure has dissipated into full-blown woe after Sunday's head-in-hands 3-1 loss at Watford.

This latest chastising loss caps off a miserable week, following on from defeat in the Manchester derby and an abject performance in falling to Feyenoord in the Europa League on Thursday. He's now lost 16 of his last 34 matches. Like a lit firework that hasn't gone off, that's the type of statistic you don't want to go back to. Mourinho needs a bucket of sand and a win pronto.

If a shanked Wayne Rooney cross into touch encapsulated United's performance at Watford, Kevin De Bruyne's masterful dominance of a football match a day earlier perfectly encapsulated the story of City's superiority over Bournemouth.

Running out of superlatives to describe the Belgian in his post-match press conference, Guardiola settled for suggesting his new head boy deserves to feast at football's top table—or at least as close to it as Messi's genius will permit.

"He's one of the great players," he purred. "Okay, Leo Messi sits on one table, alone. But Kevin can sit at the table beside him."

A Michelin-star footballer, De Bruyne treats the ball with the care a top chef plates food. It's a wonder he doesn't dab it with a white cloth before he allows it to leave his boot. He certainly has no peer in the Premier League in terms of the weight and precision of his passes. It's as though he carries a pair of scales and a protractor in his boots.

In 48 games for the club, De Bruyne has been involved in 36 goals (18 goals and 18 assists).

His goal from a free-kick for City's opener had an architect's eye for detail, as he quickly surmised the best way to beat a wall likely to jump would be to drill the ball under it. Following the path of least resistance, it did just that, as an unsighted and not-at-fault Artur Boruc was left to sigh at a collective jump that proved to be neither use nor ornament.

De Bruyne looked a little embarrassed but not enough to stop tormenting Bournemouth for the duration of his 74-minute appearance. By the time he left the field to a standing ovation, he had played a part in each of City's four goals, most tellingly for the final act that capped a masterful Premier League debut for Ilkay Gundogan.

The German's finish was almost as good as De Bruyne's pass, while his smile could not have been any wider as he looks to draw a line under a few miserable years of injury struggles at Borussia Dortmund. On his first two showings in sky blue, it's not hard to see why Guardiola made the box-to-box midfielder his primary transfer target over the summer despite likely having licence to do untold damage with an open chequebook.

Sir Alex Ferguson certainly had no regrets when he similarly decided Ruud van Nistelrooy's talent was worth the risk posed by signing a player with a serious injury on their CV.

Sandwiched between De Bruyne and Gundogan's goals were a pair of efforts from Kelechi Iheanacho and Raheem Sterling that were almost carbon copies of one another. In each instance, De Bruyne was the driving force in running with the ball before playing in first Sterling and then Iheanacho, as both demonstrated a selflessness in rolling the ball across for their team-mate to tap in. That will delight Guardiola.

Iheanacho's generosity in front of goal may just have something to do with a remarkable record he's keen not to sully. His smartly improvised finish on Saturday extended his run to 10 goals from 14 Premier League shots on target. Hostages tucking into their first meal since being released have been known to be more wasteful than the 19-year-old. 

"Bournemouth are the best side we have faced this season," was Guardiola's mischievous assessment, per Rory Brigstock-Barron of the Mirror, just a week after the Manchester derby. "[Other opponents] just used the long ball."

Because of how much he has crammed into his career already, it's easy to forget Sterling is still essentially a kid at 21. A strange scapegoat for England's travails at the European Championship, swathes of the tabloid media and away supporters are seemingly not enamored. He will have returned to Manchester from France with his confidence lower than a snake's belly.

What exactly Guardiola has said to him in the intervening weeks is not common knowledge, but it's hard to think of a player's form, mindset and whole demeanor changing so dramatically in such a short space of time.

Again on Saturday, the current Premier League player of the month was nothing less than sensational. It is almost as if how much he spent on a bathroom for his mum doesn't matter. Thankfully, it has been the back pages he has dominated since Guardiola took him under his wing.

The Sunday Times used a brilliant photograph of Sterling skipping past Andrew Surman, with Jack Wilshere, who endured a tortuous debut of 15 first-half touches before he was substituted on 68 minutes, looking on forlornly. The picture here really was worth a thousand words. It's all in the eyes. Give it a "What became of the dreams we had?" title, and it wouldn't look out of place hung in a gallery.

OLI SCARFF/Getty Images

Purveyor of beautiful football and agony uncle rolled into one, it's hard not to warm to Guardiola, even if his predilection for all things false can be a little cloying.

The confederacy of dunces looks to be on borrowed time, but it will always have at least one member.

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