2012 Star Gabby Douglas Still Searching for Golden Form as Rio Olympics Approach

SAN JOSE, Calif. — She paced in front of the balance beam, the sequins on her red, white and black leotard glittering in the arena light, her soft brown eyes locked onto that precarious strip of wood that measures four inches wide and 16.4 feet long.

It was an hour before the start of the final round of the U.S. Olympic gymnastic trials at the SAP Center on Sunday evening, and Gabby Douglas examined the beam closely. For more than a minute, the reigning Olympic gold-medal winner in the women’s all-around continued to walk back and forth in front of the beam—as much of a psychological challenge as a physical one—with her arms folded like a philosopher deep in thought.

She had so much to ponder. On Friday night in the first round of the two-day trials, Douglas attempted a ho-hum move on the beam, a spin that came in the middle of a series of flips. But she stumbled and lost her balance; gravity did the rest, and she fell to the floor. Douglas was so shocked that for a few heartbeats she appeared paralyzed, unable to jump back up onto that four-inch-wide proving ground.

The fall was the lowlight of an underwhelming first night for Douglas, who was seventh in the overall standings after the first round. With only five spots on the Olympic team headed to Rio, the breakout star of the 2012 Games suddenly appeared to be in jeopardy of not making the 2016 team, which would be picked by a three-person selection committee headed by Martha Karolyi, the national team director of U.S. women’s gymnastics.

Late on Friday night, as Douglas stood in the bowels of the SAP Center, she shook her head as she replayed her beam performance in her mind, move by move. “My confidence is shaken right now,” she said. “That fall was a big mistake, to do it on something so easy and basic. Tonight felt so different than four years ago. I’m a different girl.”

Then, sighing deeply, she added, “I thought it would be easier than it has been. I thought it would be cake. I let things slip a little … I wish I would have gotten serious sooner.”

Jeff Roberson/Associated Press

That was a remarkable confession from the 20-year-old Douglas, whose out-of-nowhere star turn four years ago gripped even causal Olympic fans. Widely considered the second-best American gymnast for the first half of 2012 behind teammate Jordyn Wieber, she became in London the first African-American to win the women’s all-around, one of the most coveted titles in all of world sport.

“Your entire life changes the moment you win an Olympic gold medal, especially the all-around,” said Shannon Miller, who captured a total of seven medals in the 1992 and ‘96 Olympics. “So many opportunities come your way. It can be difficult to manage and still be a competitive gymnast.”

Returning from England four summers ago, Douglas lit a blue streak across the States. She pressed the flesh with Michelle Obama, took a turn on Oprah’s couch, strolled across various red carpets and flashed her melt-your-heat smile for photo spreads in Essence, Sports Illustrated and Vanity Fair.

She wrote not one, but two autobiographies. A made-for-TV movie based on her life aired on the small screen, and she starred in her own TV reality series, Douglas Family Gold.

As a consequence of the demands of her growing celebrity—and the fact she simply wanted to sleep in for the first time since she could remember—she didn’t begin training again until April 2013, a layoff of more than eight months, which is tantamount to an ice age in the world of women’s gymnastics.

Douglas’ performances had been uneven for most of the last two years, and she's never regained the dominant form she flashed in London. Two weeks ago, she came in fourth at the P&G Championships in St. Louis behind all-around winner Simone Biles, who will head to Rio as the gymnast to beat.

“It’s so hard to come back at the same level after you’ve won an all-around gold,” said Muriel Grossfeld, a three-time Olympian (1956, ’60, ’64) who coached Douglas when she was a little girl. “Gabby used to smile like the sunshine. Now she doesn’t look as happy out there. She’s struggling to regain her confidence.”

“The pressure is very different once you’re the champion and you’re trying to defend your title, and that’s what Gabby is finding out now,” said Mary Lou Retton, the 1984 all-around gold-medal winner. “You go out there and try not to lose. It’s an entirely different dynamic.”

Another new dynamic for Douglas at these trials was her body. Since the London Games, she’s grown two-and-half inches to 5’1 ½”. “When the female body changes from a teenager to an early 20-year-old, it affects the way you twist and turn and hit the ground,” Miller said. “Gymnastics is all about physics. When you add mass, it becomes harder. Gabby is still trying to work the bugs out.”

At just past 6:35 p.m. local time on Sunday evening, Douglas approached the beam. After two strong performances in her first two events—the vault and the uneven bars—Douglas had risen from seventh to fifth in the all-around standings. Now her moment of reckoning arrived.

As Christina Desiderio finished her routine on the uneven bars, Douglas again paced in front of the beam, studying it like it was a complex piece of art. She had looked terrific in warm-ups, but the floodlights weren’t on her then. Waiting for Desiderio’s score to be posted, the capacity crowd of nearly 18,000 thundered, “Gabby! Gabby! Gabby!”

She stuck her first flip. Then two more. Then, after a difficult twisting backflip, she wobbled and slipped to the floor. She capably finished her routine, but she quickly ran off to the side, where she fell into the arms of her coach, Christian Gallardo, with the disappointment visible in her scrunched face.

Would she make the team? She went on to finish seventh in the all-around standings. The math didn’t look good: two nights, two falls, five spots. After her final routine of the night on the floor, she waved and blew a kiss to the crowd. Was it her farewell smooch?

Douglas was a bundle of nerves as she waited with the rest of the Olympic hopefuls in a small room while the committee conferred for 18 minutes. “I didn’t know what would happen,” she said.

Then the announcement was made over the arena’s P.A.: Douglas was a member of the U.S. team. She ran onto the floor and again saluted the crowd, tears streaming down her cheeks, not even realizing that she had just become the first defending all-around champion to return to the Olympics since Nadia Comaneci in 1980.

“I can improve a lot,” Douglas said late on Sunday. “I’m willing to put everything into it. I’m not falling again. I’m not.”

Todd Warshaw/Getty Images

So why was Douglas chosen over MyKayla Skinner and Ragan Smith, who finished fourth and fifth, respectively, in San Jose? Karolyi explained that the team needed Douglas’ expertise on the uneven bars and the floor—Gabby’s two best events—and that she believes the defending all-around champ will improve dramatically over the next month.

Beginning next week, the entire U.S. squad—Biles, Laurie Hernandez, Aly Raisman, Madison Kocian and Douglas—will spend 10 days training with the no-nonsense Karolyi at her ranch in Texas. The team will enter Rio as the overwhelming favorite to win gold.

In Texas, no Olympian will receive more intensive, one-on-one tutelage from Karolyi than Douglas, who could be the ultimate boom-or-bust wild card in Rio. She’s still a rare talent capable of winning medals in individual competition, but her troubles in San Jose nearly ended her Olympic career. “Gabby gave me concerns,” Karolyi said. “But if we put Gabby in our regiment of training, we will see improvement.”

“My whole career I’ve had to fight,” Douglas said. “My problems were all mental. I’m going to clean it up. I can do so much better and I will. I have to be hard on myself.”

Minutes later, deep inside the SAP Center, Douglas grabbed a bouquet of roses and headed down a concrete hallway. As she walked out into the cool California night, the golden girl of the 2012 Games didn’t even crack a smile, as if she knew how much work lie ahead.