Euro 2016 Awards: Ronaldo, Griezmann, Robson-Kanu and Iceland All Scoop Gongs

Star Man: Cristiano Ronaldo

It's been quite the summer for Cristiano Ronaldo. It seems aeons ago since he laid into Iceland for trying to stop him from scoring and having a "small mentality," per Andy Hunter of the Guardian.

Then followed the missed penalty against Austria; the face-saving brace against Hungary, which meant Ronaldo is the only man to score at four different European Championships and seven different international tournaments; the lobbing of a broadcaster's microphone into a lake; a press conference in which he refused to answer any questions except ones he'd ask himself; an assist for Ricardo Quaresma against Croatia in the round of 16; and the hanging header to vanquish Wales in the semi-final.

Finally, there was the final.

From tears of despair to those of the joyous variety, via a moth landing on his face without him even noticing, nobody in football embraces the sport's predilection for theatre like Ronaldo.

Comparisons with Diego Maradona dragging Argentina to glory in 1986 are overwrought to the point of being hysterical, but it has nonetheless been a remarkable tournament for Portugal's player-manager. After Dimitri Payet’s knee made contact with his left leg on eight minutes, Ronaldo hobbled on until the 25th before finally conceding his tournament was over.

To their considerable credit, France's fans joined in the applause as Ronaldo left the field on a stretcher. Referee Mark Clattenburg checked with his fourth official over whether the game should be called off before making the brave decision it was probably still worth seeing it through to the end now it had started.

Portugal's remaining players seemed to take umbrage at an assumption the trophy may as well be handed to France before Ronaldo got back to the dressing room. In a typically obdurate fashion, they regrouped and were full value for the victory. Ronaldo took on the role of cheerleader/leader of men, as he geed up both his teammates and countrymen in the stands from an ad hoc, hastily chalked out technical area on the touchline.

After the Euro 2004 final, when a callow 19-year-old Ronaldo left the field in tears after Greece had sprung a shock not dissimilar to the one Portugal managed on Sunday, coupled with a catalogue of other semi-final near misses, all that mattered was he had his hands on the trophy.

Redemption had been achieved for Ronaldo and Portugal.

And did Cristiano mention Lionel Messi has never won a major international tournament?

Best Player: Antoine Griezmann

No player has tripped over the thin line between success and failure like Antoine Griezmann over the past few months. A magnificent campaign for Atletico Madrid yielded 32 goals but ended in tears, as his missed penalty in normal time of the UEFA Champions League final was followed by Diego Simeone's side losing out to Real Madrid in a shootout.

Euro 2016 was supposed to be his redemption. And after fighting his way back from being dropped for France's second game, it looked as though it might indeed prove to be just that. Without question, he was the tournament's outstanding player once the knockout phase got underway.

Who'd have thought playing him in position might be worth a shot, Didier Deschamps? Five goals in three games (two each against Republic of Ireland and Germany and one against Iceland) took France to Sunday's final and established him as the competition's poster boy.

He was out of sorts at the Stade de France, though, and he missed a gilt-edged opportunity—a header he failed to guide on target from close range—to win the game for France in normal time.

Football is nothing if not cruel.

Best Goal: Hal Robson-Kanu, Wales vs. Belgium

"

I was in the box and just trying to make space to get a shot off.

I had my back to goal and they’re thinking I’m going to set the ball and I’ve Cruyffed and put it in the net.

It was going to take something like that to break the Belgian team down. I’m obviously pleased that we came out victorious.

"

Few goals are as beautiful as the unexpected. The way Hal Robson-Kanu described his second of the tournament, bamboozling three Belgium defenders with a Cruyff turn before slotting past Thibaut Courtois to score in a European Championship quarter-final, made it sound as routine as brushing your teeth in the morning. For the rest of the watching world, though, it was pretty special.

It's fair to say the 27-year-old, who pitched up in France without a club having run down his Reading contract, is not shy of confidence. Or as his captain, Ashley Williams, put it, per David Hytner of the Guardian: "Hal's a good guy but he absolutely loves himself."

"

Great to win @BBCMOTD @EURO2016 'Goal of the Tournament'. Thank you to everyone who voted ❤❤❤ #EURO2016 pic.twitter.com/cZdnz0KNeJ

— Hal Robson-Kanu (@RobsonKanu) July 10, 2016"

Honourable mentions go to Payet’s last-gasp winner against Romania, Radja Nainggolan’s peach against Wales, which is likely still travelling, Marik Hamsik’s jackhammer that cannoned in off the post versus Russia, a pair of different but both perfectly executed volleys from Croatia's Luka Modric (against Turkey) and Switzerland's Xherdan Shaqiri (versus Poland), impudent finishes from Griezmann (against Iceland) and Ronaldo (versus Hungary) and Italy's Eder's slalom run and slotted strike against Sweden.

Apologies to Eden Hazard; after his season-long sabbatical, we nearly forgot his museum-quality effort against Hungary. 

Most of the aforementioned strikes are featured in the tweet below for your viewing pleasure:

Best Vine: All the Way from Guatemala

"

El penal de Zaza narrado por el comentarista islandés. pic.twitter.com/RRwrMJPlGD

— @monozapien (@monozapien) July 4, 2016"

Best Fans: Iceland (Wales Supporters a Close 2nd)

It's true: A picture (well video) can be worth a thousand words...

This Portuguese kid deserves a mention too...

Best Coach: Cristiano Ronaldo Fernando Santos

With a hangdog expression borrowed from Walter Matthau and a lovely turn of phrase, Fernando Santos slowly emerged as a cult hero of Euro 2016. There's nothing cult about his popularity in Portugal, mind.

In 14 competitive matches as Portugal boss, Santos hasn’t lost a single one. That he’s only won one of those games by more than a single goal has led to sneering, primarily from those who still perceive football as having a right way of being played. It’s a criticism unlikely to keep Santos or his players from enjoying the party.

"That Portugal won without deserving it," he had said on the eve of the final, per Brian Homewood of Reuters. "I would go home really happy."

Even football's evangelists would struggle to make a case for Portugal not deserving the win on Sunday night. To lose their best player, their purported only vessel for victory, in the first half and still emerge triumphant to secure a first major honour was a fitting final flourish of a tournament-long trope of the collective being stronger than the individual.

After the seesaw 3-3 draw with Hungary that nearly saw Portugal eliminated, Santos went back to basics and drew on his side's key strength. Thereafter, they were unapologetically pragmatic and played perfect knockout-stage football. Robert Lewandowski's effort for Poland in the quarter-finals was the only goal they conceded in the seven-and-a-half hours of football that followed.

Santos put it as only he could at full time, per Dominic Fifield of the Guardian: "We were as simple as doves and wise as serpents."

If that quote isn't tattooed on Quaresma's face by the end of the summer, we'll have witnessed a bigger miracle than Portugal winning Euro 2016.

Honourable mentions in this category go to Wales' Chris Coleman and Iceland's joint-managers, Heimir Hallgrimsson and Lars Lagerback. Italy’s Antonio Conte reaffirmed what we all knew already: He's tactically adroit and is going to be a lot of fun in the Premier League. His touchline histrionics should give Jose Mourinho a run for his money.

Unlikeliest Hero: Eder

Prior to his 79th-minute introduction from the substitutes' bench in the final, Portugal striker Eder had clocked up just 13 minutes of playing time at Euro 2016.

A lack of minutes had been a theme for him all season. The striker managed just 267 for Swansea City following a summer move from Braga before he was shipped off to Lille without a solitary league goal to his name.

With the awkward gait of a calf making its first steps—and just as unpredictable—France couldn’t quite work out what to do with him.

They still had no answer in the second period of extra time, when Eder moved the ball inside from the left and arrowed a 25-yard strike past Hugo Lloris. It was a splendid winner to decide a less-than-splendid final. While the watching world raised a giant collective eyebrow and Swansea supporters spat out the last remnants of the final beer of the evening, it came as no surprise to the man himself.

It seems Ronaldo can add being a clairvoyant to his ever-growing list of talents.

"Cristiano told me I would score the winning goal for the team," Eder revealed post-match, per Fifield. "He gave me this strength, this energy, and it was vital. It was a goal I’ve been working for from the first minute of the Euros."

The wonderfully droll Santos added: "The ugly duckling went and did just that. Now he’s a beautiful swan."

Most Welcome Tactical Return: 3 at the Back

Italia '90 enthusiasts will have been in their element at Euro 2016. Italy, Germany and Wales all, at various points, employed a back three as part of a 3-5-2 formation. The latter pair made the semi-finals, Germany boss Joachim Low aping Italy's system to beat them in the quarter-finals.

Mark Wright cancelled a family holiday in the hope he might have got a late call-up by Roy Hodgson before realising England don't tend to bother with trivialities like tactics these days.

Least Welcome Rule Change: 1-Player Kick-Offs

Wrong. So very, very wrong. So very, very, very wrong.

Best Kenneth Williams Quote: Guy Mowbray to Robbie Savage and Gerry Armstrong

During the BBC's live coverage of Wales vs. Northern Ireland, commentator Guy Mowbray said to his co-commentators, Robbie Savage and Gerry Armstrong: "You were both straining next to me, trying to put your nuts on it."

Most Honest Assessment: Russia Coach Leonid Slutsky

"After losing to Wales, me and some players gathered in my room, talked until 9 a.m. and then concluded: "We’re s--t’ in unison," Russia boss Leonid Slutsky told Sports.ru (h/t Oli Platt of Goal).

Biggest Disappointment: England

This just about sums it all up for the founding fathers of Association Football:

Best Political Insight: Giorgio Chiellini

Italy defender Giorgio Chiellini gave his view on Brexit at a pre-game press conference: "The main concern is a domino effect. But I don’t think the simple UK exit can change the equilibrium of the whole European economy—I don’t think the discontent should lead to disintegration."

Spain's Nolito offered: "What is Brexit? I think it’s a dance. I may be wrong."

We’re already looking forward to watching Manchester City fans doing the Brexit whenever Nolito scores next season.

Least Helpful Political Insight: Igor Lebedev, Deputy Chairman of the Russian Parliament

"I don’t see anything wrong with the fans fighting," Russian MP Igor Lebedev said via Twitter (h/t the Guardian's Shaun Walker). "Quite the opposite, well done lads, keep it up!"

Worst Opening Ceremony Since the Most Recent: Paris, June 10

David Guetta kicked off proceedings. According to Forbes, he earned an estimated $37 million last year. Presumably, he was booked as he’s the only remaining human left on the planet that can make you feel footballers are underpaid.

A poor man’s Jean-Michel Jarre stood in a box on the centre circle and pretended to play records from a setlist borrowed from Yates in Slough (circa 2014). NOW 2016 mustn't be out yet in France.

A giant Eiffel Tower banner so phallic it must have been designed by Serge Gainsbourg then provided an unfortunate, if perversely appropriate, backdrop to a performance of tournament anthem: "This One's For You." If it’s all the same, I’ll pass.

The rest of the opening ceremony resorted back to standard fare: 600 dancers, 150 can-can performers, tinny Euro pop, giant lips, Edith Piaf, dancing lollipops, etc. When it was all over, a spine-tinglingly poignant rendition of "La Marseillaise" seemed a fitting way to come around from a cultural lobotomy.

Best Piece of Commentary: Gudmundur Benediktsson

An aural treat unrivalled across the whole of the tournament, Icelandic commentator Gudmundur Benediktsson's description (if you can call it that) of his nation's late winner against Austria to book their passage into the last 16 was a thing of genuine beauty.

Best Song at the Euros: 'Will Grigg's on Fire'

"

WILL GRIGG'S ON FIRE !! pic.twitter.com/QoTToir5eT

— Uber Football Facts (@UberFootbalI) June 16, 2016"

Pundit Watch: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Slaven Bilic stole the opening few weeks of the pundit wars for ITV before he had to return to his day job as West Ham United manager by being warm, witty, gregarious and happy to be there. You’d think the latter would be a given. Whenever Mark Lawrenson or heir apparent Danny Murphy took the microphone, though, it was if they were auditioning for a gig on Footballer Funerals for whenever Channel 5 finally gets the green light.

Bilic, who did all this in his second language, is the type of man who would roll up his sleeves and produce a plunger from his briefcase if you told him you had a leaky toilet. The other two would give you the number of a plumber and then tell you not to use him because he's useless.

At the opposite end to table-mounting Bilic was Ryan Giggs. Football's Harold Pinter spent the majority of his time in the studio perfecting the art of the pregnant pause, staring into the middle distance profoundly before offering: "Gareth Bale is..."

After the ad break, he'd conclude his sentence with "...Welsh."

Roy Keane returned to punditry duties after his Republic of Ireland exertions for the Wales vs. Portugal game and somehow managed to give the impression he’d never met Giggs. Sporting a disconcerting badger beard, he rolled his eyes at the effusive praise being directed in Wales’ direction, curled a lip, simmered and then laid into them.

On co-commentary duty, Mark Bowen achieved the impossible in making the viewer wish Clive Tyldesley would speak more often.

He's an anchor, not a pundit, but ITV’s Mark Pougatch deserves a shout for this beauty of a half-time poser, with England trailing 2-1 to Iceland: "Should Roy Hodgson drop Joe Hart for the quarter-finals?"

Of the rest, Rio Ferdinand flipped from insightful to infantile—sometimes in the same sentence. Glenn Hoddle less mangled the English language as created his own. And Thierry Henry appeared to enjoy himself more on the BBC than he does on Sky Sports.

Neil Lennon seemed quite sharp, Dean Saunders less so (pointing out of the 11 goals Wales had scored in qualifying, Bale had "scored seven and made the other two"), Lee Dixon was erudite and blokey, Alan Shearer angry and blokey and Andy Townsend just blokey.

Emmanuel Petit was reassuringly French, while compatriots Louis Saha and Christian Karembeu were given so little airtime they were like a pair of bookends without any books. Peter Crouch looked as though he was trying hard to concentrate while at the same time worrying whether he'd get last orders at the hotel bar.

Lothar Matthaus was criminally underused; Robbie Savage was the exact opposite. Gianluca Vialli seemed a lovely man, but one with a glint in his eye to suggest he'd be a lot of fun at parties. Finally, Martin Keown came across like the guy over the road who'd report you to the council if you took his black bin in by mistake.

Can the Last One Out Turn Off the Lights...