Toronto Man Without TV Asks to Be Arrested so He Can Watch Blue Jays in Jail

"Hi, I'm a Toronto Blue Jays fan with cable, and I watch games in a Labatt stupor."

"And I'm TV-less Blue Jays fan, and I call the cops so I can watch the ALDS in jail."

This is basically how things went for one particularly desperate Blue Jays fan this week. 

NextImpulseSports.com noticed an interesting tweet sent out Tuesday by the Toronto Police's Twitter account.

As the message reads, it sounds like a Blue Jays fan without a television was so terrified he might not get to see his team play the Texas Rangers in Game 5 of the ALDS that he called the police and asked to be locked up so he could watch the game from the confines of a jail cell this evening.

Fortunately, the man appears to have come to his senses and bailed before the cops showed up:

Guys, there are so many televisions out there—literally millions, maybe even billions. And you don't even have to own them to use them! You can just point your eyes at them and the content is yours. I eye-burgle TV all the time.

Of course, this is all assuming that the man in question can't scrape together enough cash to purchase a television in general. It also presumes he has lost his last TV-possessing friend over an unpaid debt. It doesn't take into consideration the possibility that this was a drunk man who accidentally smashed his TV with a bat while imitating Jose Bautista and, in a dense fog of Canadian Mist, called the authorities in a panicked plea for more television.

In any case, hard times call for drastic measures. I just hope this guy exhausted all other possibilities before phoning the sheriff.

I don't know what's good with the TV setup in jail, but I know that none of my friends who have spent a night in the drunk tank came back bragging about how much 30 for 30 they watched while waiting for their blood alcohol level to dip.

Dan is on Twitter. He's all for creativity, but at what cost?