7 Innovative New Features That We'd Like to See in FIFA 17
FIFA 16 is now on shelves and in living rooms around the globe, giving millions of gamers further opportunity to shun social interactions in favour of digital football domination.
EA Sports' latest release brings with it plenty of new features, but there is always room for improvement.
With that in mind, here's a few (totally serious) features we'd like to see in the next iteration of FIFA.
Press Conferences
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After each match, gamers should have the option to stage a press conference. In addition to offering insight into decisions made in the game and the state of the team, the manager could use it as an opportunity to angrily insult opponents, compare digitally created journalists to flightless birds and draw attention away from the team's failings by diverting attention elsewhere.
With this update, you get 500 extra FUT coins per press conference if you manage to make up an excuse that Jose Mourinho hasn't already used.
Full Training Sessions
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FIFA 16 gives you the opportunity to develop players in career mode with a series of mini-skills exercises, so surely the next evolution is full-on training sessions.
You would control which players get fined for turning up late, the odious topic of "banter" during the warm-up, try to keep Mario Balotelli from taking his nap (see above), set the menu in the cafeteria and, if you're Arsenal, you take on the mammoth task of assigning physio tables to the dozens of injured players.
Trouser Dropping Capability
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Having trouble motivating your team in an important FUT game? In FIFA 17, you should have the option to engage "Louis van Gaal mode," which basically means that you drop your trousers and pants to the floor and it has an immediate inspirational impact on your charges.
Louis van Gaal mode would also be useful as a strictly enforced forfeit when you defeat one of your friends.
Qatari Stadia
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FIFA 16 boasts a host of new stadia, including Fratton Park, Dean Court and Marseille's Stade Velodrome with its fancy new roof.
In the next addition, the current 50 real-world stadia should be complemented by the 12 venues that will be used in the 2022 World Cup in Qatar.
Imagine playing in these modern shrines to (alleged) FIFA corruption, constructed with unacceptable human cost and designed with cooling technologies have still haven't really been invented yet.
Warning: If you choose to play in a Qatari stadium, your game may be delayed up to six months to avoid the searing desert heat.
Fantasy Ultimate Agent Mode
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FIFA 16 allows you to control a team, but in the modern game, in order to really control a team, you need to become a super agent.
FIFA 17 should offer the ability to become a digital Jorge Mendes, where you earn coins by negotiating absurdly high fees for some of the world's biggest players.
The very best players in Fantasy Ultimate Agent mode will be skilful enough to make Manchester United pay a loan fee for a crocked striker before getting the same team to sell them a teenager who has played a handful of games for upwards of £36 million.
Fewer Medic Interruptions
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Most top managers know that the worst thing that can possibly happen in a game is having your physio run on the field to treat an injured player, thus leaving you open to counter attacks while you are a man down.
In FIFA 17, you should be able to choose whether your players receive treatment during crucial points in the game. Hence you can gamble on whether the player is faking it, or whether you will be regarded as a callous monster who shows flagrant disregard for the health of the players and the duties of the medical staff.
Champions League
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EA Sports still don't have the rights to the Champions League, which means the world's most popular football game is missing the biggest club competition.
FIFA 17 needs to address this: How else will we be able to simulate the sound of a pin dropping in a half-empty Etihad Stadium as the home side put in yet another mysteriously lacklustre performance?
