Every NBA Team's Biggest Burner Suspect According to Fans
Are you tired of arguing over MVP and Rookie of the Year? Is your heart set on deeper NBA conversations? Do you find the off-court drama every bit as satisfying as the games?
Well, we absolutely have you covered today.
The honor being handed out? Every NBA team's prime suspect for having a burner account on the ol' internet.
For each organization, the "winner" was determined by thousands of you fans in a vote taken on the Bleacher Report app. What we'll dive into below, at least in part, is why you voted the way you did.
Atlanta Hawks: CJ McCollum
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Speaking from experience, media members can become borderline obsessive over their mentions, social media footprint, etc.
And Atlanta Hawks guard CJ McCollum is already dipping his toes into that world.
He's made plenty of appearances on studio shows. He has his own podcast. He has an all-time classic social media moment.
You might ask, "Why would someone willing to engage like that even need a burner?" Well, sometimes there are itches the official account just can't scratch.
Boston Celtics: Jaylen Brown
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Jaylen Brown is the face of one of this season's biggest surprises.
The Boston Celtics smashed expectations. He even had a few prominent media members trying to make him an MVP candidate because of it.
You'd think he wouldn't have much to gripe about anonymously, but those MVP takes also inspired some pushback.
Talk of his negative net rating swing and below-average effective field-goal percentage became as prevalent as the praise, so it would be hard to blame Brown for arguing under a pseudonym and using a generic Celtics logo as his profile picture.
Brooklyn Nets: Michael Porter Jr.
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The rebuttal to the fans on this one is the same as McCollum's. As evidenced by clips from his podcast and other appearances over the years, it sure feels like Michael Porter Jr. has little concern with censoring himself.
His personality also just seems so friendly. The smile above is a common sight during Brooklyn Nets games.
Perhaps the fans thought he seemed a little too nice? Surely, a player who is online would need some kind of outlet for the meaner takes. And a burner would be exactly that.
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Charlotte Hornets: Grant Williams
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For at least some of the players named in this slideshow, wanting to fight back against online commentary would have to be a motivating factor in having a burner account.
While Williams is clearly having a positive impact on one of the league's most exciting teams this season, he was sometimes the butt of the joke with his previous organizations.
The residual effects of that treatment could absolutely inspire some back-and-forths with trolls.
Chicago Bulls: Artūras Karnišovas
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Artūras Karnišovas was recently fired by the Chicago Bulls, but he tallied more than enough votes to secure this category beforehand.
And it's not hard to see why.
The Bulls are in one of the biggest media markets in the world. Plenty of those fans still remember the glory years with Michael Jordan. Karnišovas' tenure was a disaster class in mediocrity.
For years, Chicago's faithful have had plenty of reasons to complain about roster construction, a hesitance to rebuild and multiple whiffs in the draft. Karnišovas' fingers would've gotten a heck of a workout trying to counter all the complaints since 2020.
Cleveland Cavaliers: Dennis Schröder
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Journeyman point guard Dennis Schröder has never shied away from conflict on the floor. Over the years (and all over the world), he's gotten into it with plenty of opponents.
And like Karnišovas (though to a lesser extent), he has a record that's pretty easy to nitpick. He also, unfortunately, may be as famous for a career miscalculation that cost him a four-year, $84 million contract as he is for anything else.
The jokes that still occasionally pop up over that are prime real estate for a burner account.
Dallas Mavericks: D'Angelo Russell
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D'Angelo Russell went from being one of Nico Harrison's biggest offseason acquisitions to a consistent DNP-CD to the winner of a tongue-in-cheek fan poll for a team he doesn't even play for.
Yes, D-Lo is now a Washington Wizard, but he still picked up more than enough votes from Mavs fans to secure this spot. It's not hard to see why.
Russell has long been the target of online scrutiny over his defense and shot selection. Years ago, he got wrapped up in the drama between Nick Young and Iggy Azalea.
In short, there's plenty of Russell-related topics for him to anonymously argue about.
Denver Nuggets: Bruce Brown
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The Denver Nuggets' best player is famously pretty stoic. Much of their on-court attitude has to come from elsewhere.
And Bruce Brown is happy to oblige.
During any given Denver game, he seems like the Nugget most likely to tussle with an opponent (verbally or otherwise). It feels pretty safe to assume that would translate to the internet for some digital hat tips.
Detroit Pistons: Tobias Harris
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Tobias Harris' online footprint has diminished a bit since front offices separated him and Boban Marjanović, but there's more than enough history to back the fans on this pick.
"Tobi and Bobi" was an internet sensation. Harris' embrace of the Crumbl Cookie memes suggests some general online awareness, too.
It feels safe to assume all of that could snowball into the creation of a burner (and one that might be a little likelier to joke than others).
Golden State Warriors: Brandin Podziemski
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I'm not sure who we can put in charge of this, but we might need a Centel/BrickCenter MVP in the NBA. And this season, that award might go to Brandin Podziemski.
He's a solid player, but you certainly wouldn't know it by the lowlights of him that go viral seemingly every time the Golden State Warriors play.
His hoops honor is almost constantly under attack, so it makes plenty of sense for him to get online to defend it.
Houston Rockets: Kevin Durant
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Kevin Durant only got 60 percent of the vote on this one. That might be the single biggest surprise of this whole exercise.
I suppose there are arguments for Ime Udoka. Amen Thompson and Reed Sheppard came up in the online world. Maybe there's some thought that KD doesn't want to get caught doing this again.
But come on. Durant has already had multiple burners exposed. He may have had one revealed this season! The 60 percent are right to think he hasn't done a sudden about-face.
Indiana Pacers: Tyrese Haliburton
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Tyrese Haliburton is another star who's repeatedly demonstrated a willingness to mix it up online.
He has one of the best self-deprecating posts any NBA player has ever authored.
So, there may be an argument that he doesn't really need a burner. But, as is the case with a few others we already detailed, there could very well be a desire to get a little meaner. A burner makes that a lot easier than the official account.
Los Angeles Clippers: Bradley Beal
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For years, Bradley Beal was known as much for having one of the worst contracts in the NBA as he was for his actual production.
Last season, he received more than his fair share of the blame for the Phoenix Suns wildly underperforming.
After six dreadful games (in which the Los Angeles Clippers went 2-4), he was shut down for the season.
As Beal enters the free-agent market this offseason (assuming he declines his player option), there is going to be plenty of online slander to counter from his hypothetical burner.
Los Angeles Lakers: LeBron James
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There's still an open debate over LeBron James' GOAT status. He has the longevity argument locked up, but plenty champion Michael Jordan's peak all the way to the grave.
Where the argument is more or less settled is on his status as the GOAT of image curation. LeBron, Rich Paul and their growing media empire have spent years crafting that. And that requires patience and carefulness.
If anyone could use the outlet a burner would provide, it's him. As famous as he is, there are LeBron-related arguments for him to dive into literally every day (and probably every hour of every day).
Memphis Grizzlies: Ja Morant
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Ja Morant hasn't played a lot of NBA basketball over the last few years, but he's sure given fans plenty to talk about.
From his activity at gentlemen's clubs to his gun-toting social media posts to appearing before a judge over pickup basketball, Morant has stayed busy in spite of the injuries and suspensions.
With the amount of online chatter generated by all of the above, there are more than enough posts for Ja to jump in on with his burner.
Miami Heat: Tyler Herro
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Tyler Herro plays with a swagger that suggests he has to care about his image (online or otherwise).
And over the years, he's had a handful of clips surface that have led to some snickering (including this video of his boxing).
It's not hard to imagine Herro sitting down, cracking his knuckles and clacking away at the keyboard with his social-media detractors in the crosshairs.
Milwaukee Bucks: Kyle Kuzma
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Kyle Kuzma is another player who seems keenly aware of his image. That goes way beyond the basketball court for him.
He's often popping up at celebrity events or social gatherings. Some of his pregame outfits seem designed to elicit reactions. It's not like his game over the last few years has done a lot to detract from his off-court exploits.
Kuzma has plenty to interact with online. It wouldn't be surprising to learn he gauges the reactions to every fashion choice. And a burner would be a pretty good way to do both.
Minnesota Timberwolves: Anthony Edwards
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Anthony Edwards has generated more than enough off-court controversy to think he might have a burner account, but his on-court bravado backs up this fan vote, too.
Edwards plays every game like he's trying to send a message, so it wouldn't be surprising if he went online to see if the message was received.
Plus, Ant is famously Hollywood, too. He had a show-stealing performance in Hustle. A burner would've been an easy way to monitor the reviews of that.
New Orleans Pelicans: Jordan Poole
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Like some of the others above, Jordan Poole's game provides plenty of fodder for the growing troll community to pick apart.
His shot selection can be borderline whacky. His defense can be nonexistent. His apparent increased effort when playing in front of beautiful women made him a meme.
Just those things would give him plenty to argue about with a burner, but Poole also has the whole "I got cold-cocked by Draymond Green during a practice" situation, too.
To this day, it would be hard to see videos of or takes on that without wanting to respond.
New York Knicks: Josh Hart
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Like McCollum, Josh Hart looks like he might already be gearing up for a post-playing career as a media personality.
He's not afraid to joke around on social media. He co-hosts a podcast with Jalen Brunson. He's already engaging as his real self.
But unlike McCollum and Brunson, Hart's gritty, hard-nosed game suggests he may be a little more willing to do some digital dirty work in comment sections, too.
Oklahoma City Thunder: Chet Holmgren
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On the court, all Chet Holmgren really seems to do is win, but he's another player who's become a pretty consistent source for memes.
His rail-thin frame and pregame fits both draw plenty of attention. A lot of it isn't too flattering.
All his success would make it a little easier to shrug off, but it would also be hard to blame him for anonymously engaging.
Orlando Magic: Paolo Banchero
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Now in his fourth straight season with a below-average effective field-goal percentage and negative net rating swing, the masses finally seem to be wondering if Paolo Banchero is really a "face of the franchise" level talent.
And as fans and analysts spend more time nitpicking his shot selection and all-around game online, Banchero probably wouldn't have a hard time finding debates to jump into.
With his age (23), size (6'10") and playmaking ability, he still has plenty of reason to believe in himself. A burner would give him the opportunity to express that belief.
Philadelphia 76ers: Joel Embiid
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Even with Paul "Podcast P" George on this team, Joel Embiid feels like a pretty obvious choice for the Philadelphia 76ers.
Dating back to his public campaigning for MVP in 2022-23, it's been clear that he's very aware of the online discourse surrounding his career and terrible luck with injuries.
And given the apt nickname "Troel Embiid," it's not hard to imagine him jumping into that discourse.
Phoenix Suns: Dillon Brooks
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Over the last several years, Dillon Brooks has appeared to be deeply invested in the idea that he's the NBA's preeminent bad guy.
He's poked more than enough bears to earn the nickname "Dillon the Villain" (get it?). His antics have been the subject of loads of online discussion (or in some cases, mockery).
Surely, there's a "Dillon the Villain" stan account somewhere that's actually the man himself behind the keyboard.
Portland Trail Blazers: Damian Lillard
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Relative to some of the NBA's other superstars, Damian Lillard probably doesn't have a lot of dedicated haters. He's got a fun-to-watch game and has generally been pretty easy to root for.
But he's also super confident, has cultivated the "Dame Time" meme, and has spent years being compared to Stephen Curry. All of that might've led him to the wonders of having a burner.
But what really makes his candidacy interesting is the fact that Lillard is also a pretty well-known rapper. So, he has more than one online community to jump into.
Sacramento Kings: Russell Westbrook
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Russell Westbrook has long had what appears to be an icy relationship with plenty of media members and fans.
He doesn't always take kindly to criticism, isn't afraid to express his frustration over it and has a game that has long generated plenty of it.
Westbrook's shot selection, lack of ball security and occasional inattentiveness on defense, particularly in postseason games, have led to countless derisive posts. Russ responding to any of it with a burner wouldn't be hard to believe.
San Antonio Spurs: Luke Kornet
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Luke Kornet certainly isn't the highest-profile player on the San Antonio Spurs, but he recently inserted himself into the controversy over the Atlanta Hawks' proposed "Magic City Night," which suggests a general awareness of what's happening online.
That situation also demonstrated Kornet's willingness to actually write out an argument, so maybe it wouldn't be all that surprising for him to be this team's keyboard warrior.
Over the last few months, teammate Victor Wembanyama's MVP case has come under some scrutiny, so Kornet would have had plenty to argue about.
Toronto Raptors: Scottie Barnes
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Some of the online commentary on Scottie Barnes has ventured way beyond the line between fun and games and just plain mean.
Wanting to keep tabs on or rebut some of the insults would be natural for anyone in Barnes' position.
There have been plenty of online arguments over his game (particularly its lack of a consistent jump shot), too. Defending himself on that front wouldn't be surprising.
Utah Jazz: Kevin Love
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With as much time as Kevin Love has spent in the NBA, you might think he's above the online fray that would motivate someone to make a burner.
But he's also pretty active on Instagram and is more than willing to joke around there.
Given his level of activity on that platform, maybe it wouldn't be all that shocking to learn he's keeping tabs on the less seemly side of NBA discussion with a different account.
Washington Wizards: Anthony Davis
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As a Los Angeles Laker and LeBron James' longtime No. 2, Anthony Davis was the subject of plenty of criticism that may have drawn him online.
Fans have long picked at his jump shot and his struggles with availability. Both forums have given some anonymous version of AD plenty of opportunities to clap back.
But now he's also a little Hollywood (despite leaving Hollywood) with his prank show. Davis gauging reactions to that wouldn't be at all surprising.
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