The Internet Reacts to Sepp Blatter Winning a 5th Term as FIFA President

Sepp Blatter, FIFA grand overseer and real-life James Bond villain, won his fifth consecutive term as FIFA president on Friday, largely due to the fact that autocrats don't lose elections.

His only challenger, Prince Ali Bin al-Hussein of Jordan, withdrew after pushing the election to a second vote, leaving the incumbent to claim total victory.

Blatter then spoke to the world of international soccer as a conqueror might address the shackled citizens of a defeated nation, declaring himself "president of everybody" and in need of "ladies." Really.

Clearly, this was a bad but expected outcome, and while Blatter had his day, the assembled masses of the Internet had the last word on the extension of his regime.

Here's how social media welcomed the fifth reign of Sepp Blatter, First of His Name, President of Purse Strings and King of Everybody:

"

The three biggest champions in sports this year are the Patriots, Duke and Sepp Blatter. Can it be 2016 yet?

— Bobby Big Wheel (@BobbyBigWheel) May 29, 2015"

"

There's a rumour going around that #SeppBlatter is the @_Emperor_1 pic.twitter.com/Onpm9okieT

— Darth Vader No1™ (@DarthVader_No1) May 29, 2015"

Blatter was last seen boarding an AT-AT bound for the center of his active volcano lair.

Dan is on Twitter. He eagerly awaits Blatter's successor, who will certainly not be a handpicked stooge.