5 Rounds with Jonathan Snowden: Best and Worst from UFC Fight Night 63

On a normal fight night I tend to wake up, look at the clock and dread the 14 listless hours I know I'll spend waiting for the fights to finally begin. Those are truly wasted hours too—after all, nothing fills the emotional void quite like face punching.

Perhaps that's what made this random UFC Fight Night from Fairfax, Virginia, feel so special? By the time Chad Mendes re-established himself as the second best featherweight on the planet, it was just after lunch. The whole day was still waiting to reveal itself. 

Morning mixed martial arts—quite a revelation.

Of course, the entire show wasn't perfection, even if the start time was. But what card is? In a new post-fight series, we'll look at the card as a whole and choose the five best and worst moments—the handful of things worth talking about on Twitter afterward.

Want to extend the bout from five rounds into infinity? That's what the comments are for. Make your voice heard.

Round 1: Clay Guida Is a Crazy Person

Whether it was the giant belch that propelled him to the cage (product of a pre-fight banana, he'd later say) or the sprawling and nearly incoherent post-fight interview that followed his easy win over Robbie Peralta, there's no doubting Clay Guida's entertainment value before and after the bout. 

After taking shots at President Obama and thanking people for coming out on Easter weekend, Guida turned his attention to newly crowned lightweight champion Rafael dos Anjos.

"When I went down to the 145-pound division, it was never permanent. So Joe Silva, Dana White, Sean Shelby, whenever you're ready," Guida told obviously amused announcer Jon Anik. "Dana, you said this long ago I was your bonus guy, I want to be your superfight guy."

There's something special about a guy with 15 losses suggesting any bout he's in would ever be called a superfight. With most guys it would be off-putting, an undeserved confidence that just didn't match their place in the pecking order.

With Guida, it's just part of the package, and fans responded by chanting his name. No, it's tough to hate Guida's work on the microphone. Heck, even the guy's parents are a trip. 

It's the 15 minutes in the cage between the zaniness that many find interminable. Me? I enjoy watching a master at work.

When Guida has a grappling advantage, it's bound to be a long night for his opponent. The man is relentless in his pursuit and like a barnacle once he attaches. If you've ever grappled, you understand immediately how awful fighting Guida must be. There's nothing worse than a man lying on top of you, except the feeling of hopelessness that descends once you realize you can't buck him off.

Guida, despite his lofty ambitions, will never be UFC champion. But he still has a place in the sport as a recognizable pillar in the middle of the card, separating the wheat from the chaff. He's a 20-minute interlude bound to entertain. 

The UFC needs guys like Guida. Here's hoping he's around for a long time to come.

Round 2: Whatever Happened to Rampage Jackson?

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There was a time, a lifetime ago at this point, when Quinton "Rampage" Jackson was one of the most charismatic and entertaining fighters in the sport. Fans could count on him for memorable moments in the ring, punctuated by bone-rattling slams and haymaker punches. Journalists, in turn, could rely on Jackson to charm both them and their audience with off-the-cuff and hilarious non sequiturs. 

In many ways, he was the perfect package.

Those days, in the cage at least, are long past. There's nothing particularly surprising about that. Athletes age, mature and get smarter about their business. As the sport evolved, so did Jackson, trading in his risky strategy for a game plan built mostly around a cautious boxing attack. 

What is surprising is just how dour he's become. Once you could count on Rampage to light up the screen whenever he appeared. Now, in the midst of a lawsuit threatening to prevent him fighting at UFC 186, there's no joy to be found.

Watching Jon Anik try to draw him out was painful. Instead of the old Rampage, it was just another reluctant fighter interview, with the athlete barely even attempting to hide his disdain for the whole process. 

I miss the old Rampage, the motorboating son of a gun who always seemed a fraction of an inch away from legal action. Come back to us, Rampage! You're UFC 186's only hope! 

Round 3: The Venezuelan Vixen Is Back

In 2013 Julianna Pena rocked the MMA world, or at least my MMA world, with her charge to glory during the 18th season of The Ultimate Fighter.

It wasn't beating the likes of Sarah Moras or Jessica Rakoczy that impressed me. After all, fighters with limited experience pound on each other every weekend in dusty National Guard armories and tiny arenas all over this great nation. Being on national television doesn't, necessarily, alter that equation.

No, it was an earlier win that caught my attention. Beating other unknowns only meant so much. Beating MMA pioneer Shayna Baszler? That mattered. It was a win that announced Pena as a serious prospect, someone worth keeping an eye on as she developed her game and made her run at the great Ronda Rousey.

It was a journey long delayed after a knee injury threatened to ruin what appeared to be a promising career. More than a year later, after months of grueling rehabilitation and all the self-doubt and mental anguish that go along with it, Pena was finally able to take her first tentative steps toward the title in Fairfax. 

Not much has changed in the meantime; time seemingly stopped in Pena's absence. The bantamweight division, despite new opportunities in the UFC, is still bereft of fighters capable of challenging Rousey. The old guard is too limited physically, while the new breed is not quite ready skill-wise. 

For UFC, it's become quite a conundrum. In Rousey it has a megastar. But in combat sports, even the biggest stars need a foil to reach their potential, athletically and at the box office. Rousey needs someone to challenge her. The sport, collectively, is holding its breath, waiting to see if Pena is the one to do it.

Right now, she's not ready. Watching her charge forward against Milana Dudieva, it's obvious her stand-up game still defines "rudimentary." On the mat, though she finished her opponent, it was still raw athleticism that ruled the day. Her flailing, double-fisted attack was long on brute strength but short on science.

That's a combination that will serve her well against the Dudievas of the world. Against Rousey? It's an invitation to join every other victim on her growing highlight reel. 

Round 4: Tell Us What You Really Think, Al Iaquinta

"Are you guys booing me? You better not be booing me! I f--king fought my a-- off. F--k you! "

In those 19 words, the legend of "Raging" Al Iaquinta was born. Spittle flying as he delivered them, Iaquinta said exactly what so many other fighters before him have only fantasized saying to an unappreciative crowd.

F--k. You.

There was no doubting what Iaquinta was thinking in that moment. Unfortunately for him, his fight with Jorge Masvidal was much less clear cut. Two of three judges gave the victory to Iaquinta. The crowd, and 13 of 15 journalists, according to MMADecisions.com, saw it for Masvidal. 

Thus, the boos.

It's a hard thing to hear, especially for a fighter who, as Iaquinta so eloquently explained, has just fought his butt off. Ultimately, the fighter is only responsible for the blood, sweat and tears he leaves behind in the cage.

That's his part of the process, the only thing he can control. Iaquinta did his best, coming forward to engage a slippery and skilled opponent for 15 solid minutes. There is no shame in his performance, and it didn't warrant anything but respect.

The decision? That's on the judges—it's no fault of the fighter's. Iaquinta deserved better than vitriol, whether he was the rightful victor or not. 

Round 5: Chad Mendes Does Chad Mendes Things

It's not every day you see a fighter get hit on the top of the head and proceed to stumble around the cage like a dying animal, never quite regaining his composure. Usually that's a punch a fighter can eat and continue to go about his business.

But it's not every day a fighter is getting punched by Chad "Money" Mendes. 

Ricardo Lamas learned what every featherweight not named Jose Aldo has learned after spending even a moment in the Octagon with him—Mendes is a bad, bad man. 

For the fourth time since Mendes lost to Aldo in his first attempt at the championship back in 2012, a fighter has failed to make it to the second round against Money. He's fought the best of the best and, frankly, appeared to be on another level than even the highest-ranked athletes in his division.

Much like teammate Joe Benavidez, who appears to be too much for every flyweight who isn't champion Demetrious Johnson, Mendes has established himself as the clear runner-up at featherweight. If Aldo, as expected, departs for the lightweight division, this is Mendes' division to rule over like the little lord he's destined to become.