B/R's 2015 Football New Year Honours List
The start of January is a time when Queen Elizabeth dishes out her New Year honours to Britons who have excelled in the previous calendar year.
The British Empire, however, isn't the only institution naming new members to Chivalric Orders, as B/R has decided to recognise brilliance in the beautiful game with our own New Year honours.
Our Knights of the Green Rectangle include the teams, players, meme-makers and banter-enablers who have made the last year a pleasure for football fans across the globe.
Take a look at our honours, then feel free to leave your nominations for additional honours in the comments.
Atletico Madrid: For Services to Making La Liga More Interesting
1 of 10
Prior to 2014, it had been a decade since a team other than Real Madrid or Barcelona had won La Liga. In the previous sixteen years, Atletico Madrid hadn't been top of the table for a single day and hadn't won the title in 18 years—when manager Diego Simeone was still a player.
Last season, Los Colchoneros managed to go undefeated at home for the entire campaign and on the final day, they went to the Camp Nou and took the league title right out of the hands of the holders Barcelona with a dramatic 1-1 draw.
Their team that day cost around €40m and they only earn about a third of the TV money of the big two (as per the Guardian).
Therefore, of any team in Europe in 2014, it could be argued that Atleti have been the most impressive. Take a bow, Los Colchoneros.
Cristiano Ronaldo: Services to Being Brilliant and Having Questionable Hair
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Cristiano Ronaldo deserves recognition for being the greatest player in the world in 2014.
The Portuguese megastar started the year with a Ballon d'Or trophy and has probably done enough to earn another this January. However, the Real Madrid forward makes this honours list for his truly great contribution to the game last year: his World Cup haircut.
C-Ron turned up in Brazil with a Zorro-style zigzag shaved in the side of his head. The asymmetric pattern wasn't the worst haircut of the World Cup—that honour fell to Rodrigo Palacio—but it was a bold move from a man whose vanity knows no bounds. Those in fashion circles might have described it as "fierce."
His shaving experiment received such negative reviews that he even decided to shave it into obscurity for Portugal's final group game.
Bayern Munich: For Services to Terrifying Dominance
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Real Madrid may have finished 2014 as Europe's "hot team," with a long awaited tenth European Cup in their possession and a winning streak that seems like it might never end.
However, it might be argued that Bayern Munich have been more dominant over the past 12 months. They may have crashed out of the Champions League to Los Blancos in humiliating fashion, but they won the 2013-14 DFB Pokal without much issue and won their 24th league title in March—the first team ever to win it so astoundingly early.
Die Roten finished the year unbeaten in the league with an eleven-point lead, and as favourites to win the Bundesliga and Champions League in 2015.
They also had more players representing them at each stage of the World Cup than any other team, and their squad formed the spine of Germany's winning side.
Ganz gut, Bayern!
David Luiz: For Services to European Commerce and Comedy Defending
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With his cheeky antics, wacky outlook and inability to keep his tongue in his mouth for any period longer than two minutes, it's quite difficult to dislike David Luiz.
The fun-loving Brazilian had a landmark year in 2014, captaining his nation at a home World Cup and becoming the world's most expensive defender when he moved to Paris Saint-Germain for £50 million.
The timing of his move to Ligue 1, however, made the world wonder whether the Parisians had spent their money wisely.
Luiz's deal was unveiled at the start of the World Cup, a few weeks before his ill-fated appearance in the Selecao's defeat to Germany, in which he and colleagues such as Marcelo appeared to forget how to be professional footballers.
His actual status as a defender has been doubted since, making him the world's most expensive defender... who might not actually be a defender.
Andy Tate: For Services to Internet LOLZ
5 of 102014 was a year in which social media really came to the forefront in the beautiful game.
Armchair fans embraced the "second screen experience" of watching a game with a laptop or mobile device, players earned bans for being naughty on social media sites and fan-run channels gave birth to several new internet celebrities.
Perhaps the biggest new provider of football LOLZ was Andy Tate, the Manchester United fan whose musings were captured by Full Time Devils. His love of Pep Guardiola and ambivalence towards "Moyesy" launched a thousand Vines in 2014, the best of which can be seen here.
Martin O'Neill: For Services to Punditry
6 of 10Every pundit not named Gary Neville is automatically subject to the derision and abuse of the football-watching masses, but the strongest performance from the sofa in 2014 undoubtedly came from Martin O'Neill during ITV's World Cup coverage.
The Ulsterman's highlight came after France's victory over Switzerland, when he shot down a question from Adrian Chiles and proceeded to zing Fabio Cannavaro and Patrick Vieira.
Borussia Dortmund: For Services to Exemplary Fan Behaviour
7 of 10It's been a rough year for Borussia Dortmund, who finished 2013-14 without any major silverware and descended into relegation mire with shocking form in the first half of this season.
The kind of dramatic drop in domestic form that BVB have experienced recently would be enough for most fans to turn on their team and deliver bile at every opportunity. But not the loyal folks who fill the Westfalenstadion.
Dortmund fans have continued to cheer and support their team through hard times, creating a rousing atmosphere at every home game and showing unconditional positivity after every performance. After their last home game of 2014, fans in the famous Sudtribune even joined the team for a rendition of "Jingle Bells."
In an age of modern football and fickle fandom, this kind of attitude is rarer than unicorn excrement—and much more pleasant.
Liverpool: For Services to Thrilling Premier League Campaigns
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Liverpool's 2013-14 Premier League campaign didn't conclude in the manner that Reds fans would have hoped, but they did provide us with one of the most thrilling title run-ins in recent memory.
Brendan Rodgers side also starred in some of the most entertaining matches of the year: The 3-2 victory over Manchester City in April, the rip-roaring 5-3 win at Stoke in January and the 5-1 demolition of Arsenal in February.
And let's not forget one of the craziest games of a crazy year—the 3-3 draw at Crystal Palace in which Steven Gerrard and his charges loosened their grip on the title by giving up a three-goal lead in the last 12 minutes.
Ashley Young: For Services to Embarrassing on-Field Moments
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August 2014: A bird relieves itself inside Ashley Young's mouth.
December 2014: Ashley Young pulls off one of the worst throw-ins of all time.
Mr Young has had a good year working his way back into the Manchester United starting XI, but how is he going to top those embarrassing moments in 2015? Will his shorts fall down while taking a free-kick? Will he attempt one of his trademark dives by brushing past the referee instead of a rival? Time will tell.
James Rodriguez: For Services to Bobby Dazzlers
10 of 10There was no shortage of beautiful goals in 2014, as proven by the stunners on offer in the Puskas Award shortlist—and my list of goals that should have earned a nomination.
Among the best goals was James Rodriguez's stunning volley against Uruguay at the World Cup, which helped him earn the tournament Golden Boot. Having subsequently earned a move to Real Madrid, the Colombian showed this strike was no fluke as he scored another incredible volley against Granada in November.
James has scored a handful of Bobby Dazzlers in 2014, and in light of the fact that he might lose the Puskas Award to Robin van Persie, it only seems right to show him love with these New Year honours.
