A Christmas Wish for Every Premier League Team
It's Christmas, and although Premier League footballers might appear to have it all, there are a few things that their clubs could do with at this very special time of year.
Asking for a few extra points or a few positions higher up in the table is too simplistic, though, so if every club in the division had just one Christmas wish, what would they ask Santa to put in their stocking?
Some answers are obvious, but others less so, so put down those mince pies and feast your eyes on these.
Arsenal: Courage
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Perhaps Arsene Wenger should get his players to watch The Wizard of Oz on Christmas Day and marvel at how the Cowardly Lion prizes courage over everything else.
If the Gunners could get a bit more of that, then they'd be laughing, and not continually letting themselves down—like they did at Liverpool on Sunday.
Aston Villa: Excitement
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There is so much about Aston Villa which just seems like too much of an effort at the moment. They are merely going through the motions. A club which exists to be part of the Premier League but not really ever do anything in it.
A bit of excitement around Villa Park wouldn't go amiss, and neither would some bubble wrap to put Christian Benteke in.
Burnley: Sam Vokes
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With a mere 12 to their name, only Aston Villa (11) have scored fewer goals in the Premier League this season than Burnley, but luckily for Sean Dyche's men, their Christmas wish is about to come true.
Welsh international forward Sam Vokes is closing in on a return from injury and the chance to resurrect last season's impressive strike partnership with Danny Ings. It won't guarantee top-flight survival, but it will definitely give them a better chance of it.
Chelsea: A New Engine for Diego Costa
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After exploding into Premier League life at the beginning of the season, there have been a few signs recently that Diego Costa is beginning to run out of gas.
That is only natural, given that this is his first English season and he's not used to so many matches around this time of year, but if the Chelsea machine is going to be at its best in the New Year, then they'll need their main man firing on all cylinders. Time for an engine change.
Crystal Palace: To Play Every Game at Home
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If Crystal Palace had one wish, it would be that they could transfer all of their remaining fixtures to their tight, often intimidating and always noisy Selhurst Park home.
The Palace fans provide what is probably the best atmosphere in the division, and if their team are to stay up, then those supporters will certainly have played their part.
Everton: A Time Machine
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Remember when Everton played good football under Roberto Martinez? They were hard to beat away from home and always put up a good fight, regardless of the opposition. What's happened to that team?
Saturday's dismal 3-0 defeat at Southampton was just the latest example of how badly things have gone wrong for the Blues, who are making it too easy for the opposition to score against them and must crave the previous days of solidity.
Hull City: Receipts
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At the closure of the summer transfer window, there was much praise for Hull City boss Steve Bruce. The former Sunderland boss had managed to bolster his attacking options, signing the likes of Abel Hernandez, Gaston Ramirez and Hatem Ben Arfa, as well as Mohamed Diame and Andrew Robertson.
Fast-forward four months and Hull are without a win in 10 games, second to bottom and seeing the pressure mount on Bruce. Now where are those receipts?
Leicester City: Peace and Goodwill to All Men (and Managers)
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They are bottom of the league and getting cut adrift fast, and so the last thing that Leicester City need right now is to be torn apart from the inside.
The row, which has been brewing ever since Nigel Pearson's argument with a fan in the defeat to Liverpool earlier this month, has been allowed to fester for far too long now. Peace needs to break out sooner rather than later, otherwise everyone is going to end up paying the price. Pearson will be sacked, and the Foxes will go down.
Liverpool: Daniel Sturridge
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They could do with borrowing their neighbours' time machine, but if Liverpool only get one wish, then it has to be for the quick return of Daniel Sturridge (Brendan Rodgers could wish for a functioning goalkeeper and defence, but Santa can't work miracles).
Missing since August, Sturridge's absence has been keenly felt by his team, who'll hope that a return in the New Year is the signal for drastic improvement.
Manchester City: Sergio Aguero
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Perhaps Jesus Navas could help them out at this time of year, but Manchester City's wish really has to centre around the fit and healthy return of Sergio Aguero next month.
The Argentinean is surely the best player in the Premier League, and if he can quickly get back up to speed, then we could be seeing a fascinating title race between last season's champions and Chelsea.
Manchester United: Barcelona & Real Madrid to Stay Away from De Gea
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Manchester United must hope that Premier League coverage in Spain gets blocked in the New Year, as David De Gea's increasingly excellent performances are sure to be on the radar of La Liga's big two already.
The goalkeeping situations at both Barcelona and Real Madrid are hardly set in stone, and so a move for a player who is sure to be Spain's No. 1 for years to come would make sense. And when one of these two decide they want you, they usually get their man.
Newcastle United: Sunderland to Get Relegated
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At least if Sunderland got relegated from the Premier League in May, then Newcastle wouldn't have to play them for at least a season (assuming that they didn't go down as well).
The Magpies are on a miserable run of four straight Tyne-Wear derby defeats following Sunday's 1-0 loss at St James's Park, a third straight home reverse to their bitter rivals without scoring a goal. A break from that would do nicely for Geordie supporters.
Queens Park Rangers: Harry Redknapp to Resist His Transfer Window Urges
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They're out of the relegation zone, in fantastic form at home and have Charlie Austin scoring goals for fun, so things are going pretty well for Queens Park Rangers at the moment. Unfortunately, though, January is around the corner.
Harry Redknapp will therefore hope to sign as many players as possible, but wouldn't he be better off just leaving things as they are?
Southampton: The Vultures to Stay Away
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Granted, Southampton actually improved the last time they found all their supposedly better players spirited away to other clubs, but surely that couldn't happen again, could it?
The likes of Nathaniel Clyne, Dusan Tadic, Graziano Pelle, Morgan Schneiderlin and others are all certain to be on several clubs' hit lists in the New Year, but Ronald Koeman will be prepared to fight off advances this time.
Stoke City: Consistency
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One week good, the next week bad, the week after awful, the week after that fantastic.
Stoke City have become the great unpredictables of the Premier League; a team capable of beating Arsenal and Tottenham but also of losing at home to Burnley and Leicester. A bit of consistency would be a good Christmas wish for Mark Hughes and his team, as the Potters bid for a top-half finish which certainly isn't beyond them.
Sunderland: Every Other Club to Wear Black & White
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It's either this or hypnotising Adam Johnson to believe that he's playing against Newcastle every week, because there is something about their local rivals which brings the best out of both the Mackems and their winger.
If they played them every week, then it'd be the top few positions in the table they'd be occupying, not the bottom.
Swansea City: Keeping Wilfried Bony
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After their solid start to the season, there are quite rightly no relegation worries at Christmas time for Swansea City (and Angel Rangel). However, they will be desperate to keep hold of their star forward Wilfried Bony in the New Year as the admiring glances for the player who has scored more Premier League goals in 2014 than anyone else only get more frequent.
It could be a long January for Swans supporters.
Tottenham Hotspur: A New Home for Roberto Soldado
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It sounds harsh, but sadly for Spurs, it turns out that Roberto Soldado seems to be for life, not just for Christmas.
Tottenham supporters have admirably backed the big-money Spanish forward throughout his underwhelming stay at White Hart Lane, but surely the time is right to move him on back to his homeland and for Mauricio Pochettino to bring in a forward to complement the in-form Harry Kane.
West Bromwich Albion: Inspiration
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Results like a 3-2 defeat from being 2-0 ahead do not make for a happy Christmas, and they also indicate that West Bromwich Albion are struggling under the stewardship of quiet man Alan Irvine.
The fact that Saturday's loss was to relegation rivals QPR only put the cherry on top of a bitter-tasting Christmas cake for Baggies fans, who must now want Irvine to show some inspirational leadership and dig his side out of trouble.
West Ham United: Everything to Stay How It Is
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Nobody move, keep wearing those lucky Christmas socks and West Ham might just stay in the top four.
That'll be the thought process of plenty of Hammers fans right now, and it is difficult to imagine a happier set of supporters in the Premier League. Their side face Chelsea and Arsenal before 2014 is out, though, so if ever there was a time to wish that the league table would freeze, then it might be now...
