Gregg Popovich and Tim Duncan Troll Saturday NBA Finals Media Session

Hey, did y’all hear about the air conditioning malfunction at the AT&T Center during the San Antonio Spurs’ 110-95 Game 1 win over the Miami Heat?

Oh, you have! You know who else heard? Gregg Popovich and Tim Duncan. How do we know they heard? Because they spent a good part of their Saturday press conference taking what appeared to be [hilariously] evasive action with the NBA press.

Right off the bat, someone asked Pop what he thought about how the three-pointer has helped shape San Antonio’s mesmerizing offensive attack.

Cheating. Right.

Lest we forget who’s up at the podium right now:

Soon after, Pop blew the lid off of what will doubtless go down as the single greatest cover-up in NBA history:

Duncan, for his part, confirmed the conspiratorial bombshell a few minutes later:

Pop wasn’t able to avoid “Cramp-Gate” forever, of course. When he did address the building’s AC system, however, the delivery was pretty classic.

While we’re here, we might as well entertain the elephant in the room. For those who still think LeBron’s cramping was something any superstar worth his salt would’ve been able to just “shake off,” here’s Bleacher Report’s Howard Beck with something we in the industry call “facts”:

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The Heat, like most NBA teams, employ a small army of physicians and trainers, including James' longtime personal trainer, Mike Mancias. James also has a personal chef who helps manage his nutritional intake. Cramping can partially be managed through diet.

Had the teams known they would be playing in 90-degree heat with high humidity, James might have been advised to increase his fluids and electrolytes during the day. But of course, there was no way of knowing any of that.

One final point: Once a muscle cramps, it becomes nearly impossible to use it. James could barely stand Thursday night. Yet some fans and pundits insisted he should have somehow kept playing.

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There will, in fact, be another basketball game played—Sunday night in San Antonio, to be more specific.

Lest you be tempted to believe the Heat are somehow on their heels, a friendly reminder: Miami went down 1-0 in last year’s Finals as well—on its home floor, no less. The Heat would eventually come back to win the series in seven.

At the same time, the consensus seems to be that this year’s San Antonio team is smarter, savvier and flat-out better than last year’s version. For the Heat to have any chance at evening the series—let alone winning it—they’ll need James in full-on beast mode more often than not.

More importantly, they have to find more consistent means of containing San Antonio’s offense, ones that preferably don’t involve hoping Pop starts Tim Duncan at point guard.