Awkward Celebrity Sports Photos
Who wants to break out the family album?
Relax. I'm talking about the sports family album—that old giant tome of goofy pictures chronicling every little thing that happened in the world of athletics, both on and off the playing field.
Today we'll peruse the celebrity section, from which a rich bounty of awkward musician and actor photos can be pulled.
Break out your Drake albums and lint rollers. We're about to mix celebrity awkwardness with sports goodness.
Eli Manning and Carson Daly, or 'The Greatest Picture Ever Taken'
We haven't built words capable of encompassing the forces at work in this picture.
Nothing I can say here does justice to the sight of a young Eli Manning standing next to Carson Daly at the 2004 Kentucky Derby. Just try to appreciate that Eli is at his schoolboy-ish goofiest and Daly has a timepiece and an Australian outback derby hat.
Eli: "I love your show, Mr. Daly."
Daly: "Thanks, kid. Got any amyls?"
Danica Patrick and the Biebs
If you're not first, you're last. And you also might get stuck presenting awards with Bieber.
Bieber: "...And then I was like, 'Listen, bro. Anne Frank would totally dig my stuff.'"
Patrick: "Can we just get this over with?"
Ice Cube Wins Best Necklace
Segmented charm necklaces were all the rage in the early 2000s.
Photographer: "Alright, Cube. Be gentle now. Hold that baby like she's your bottom girl."
Cube: "You mean like this?"
Justin Bieber Steps on Blackhawks Logo
You invite people into your home. You show them nice things. And this is what happens.
Justin Bieber endlessly professes himself to be a huge hockey fan, but that didn't stop him from running roughshod over boilerplate locker room tradition and stepping on the Chicago Blackhawks after the 2013 Stanley Cup playoffs.
Blackhawks PR: "Justin, you're stepping on the icon."
Bieber: "It's cool. These are Jordans, dawg."
Blackhawks PR: "Yes, but the shoe doesn't matter..."
Bieber: "You're fired."
Blackhawks PR: "I don't work for you..."
Bieber: "You're FIRED!"
Drake Loves Winners
Toronto's finest is a huge Kentucky fan. Drake bleeds blue and white. Always has.
The only thing Drake likes more than UK is being in public with other celebrities, which would explain why Drizzy stopped by and snapped pictures with UConn alum Rip Hamilton after the Huskies beat the Kentucky Wildcats to become NCAA national champs this April.
Stay winning, Drake.
Drake: "Rip! What's up, man?"
Hamilton: "Not much, just busy being victorious."
Drake: "I feel that. I feel that...so, where you guys going after this?"
One of These Two Men Is Excited to See the Other
You'd think Will Smith and Carmelo Anthony would hit it off immediately, but this picture from the 2004 All-Star "Read to Achieve Celebration" suggests differently.
Will's eyes burn directly into the camera lens. They say "Yea, this is how we get down at the All-Star Weekend."
Melo, on the other hand, appears to be carved out of wax.
Will: "Yo! Car-mel-ooo! What's happening??"
Melo: "Nope." [walks away]
Lorde and George Brett
One is a teenage pop star from New Zealand, the other is a former baseball player who loved his pine tar.
Lorde and George Brett have literally nothing in common other than their membership in the human race and "Royals."
According to Lorde, the 19-year-old pop star saw a 1976 picture of Brett in his Kansas City Royals uniform and was inspired to write her 2013 hit song "Royals." The announcement came as strange news for teeny music listeners and sports fans alike, considering almost any other explanation for the song would've made more sense.
Nonetheless, Lorde eventually met up with the 60-year-old Hall of Famer in Las Vegas this April. I'm sure they had plenty to chat about.
Brett: "So, you saw my jersey and liked it?"
Lorde: "Oh yea! I just saw the word 'Royals' and became totally obsessed."
Brett: "Yea, I guess it's pretty, uh...regal."
JT and the Gang
This a picture of Justin Timberlake, Jamie Foxx, Brian McKnight and Tom Cavanagh wearing basketball uniforms and cheesing for the camera.
Why? Because it was 2002, and this is what happened in those days.
Timberlake: "Say 'Ja Ruuuule babaay!'"
I Have No Idea What's Happening Here
I'd say this picture was Photoshopped if I didn't pull it directly out of our Getty database.
I have no idea why Cameron Diaz and Tom Cruise presented Alberto Contador with the Maillot Jaune in 2010, but it happened and now we all have to deal with it.
Diaz: [whispers through teeth] "What is this for again?"
Cruise: [whispers] "We're luring him back to the compound..."
Just Luda Not Being Luda
Further evidence that presenting an ESPY award with Danica Patrick makes musicians tighten up like a snare drum.
Ludacris: [chucks deuces] "ROLL OUT!" [walks off]
Evander and Cool J
Uncle L is usually one to do most of the schooling, but the rapper transformed into a giddy, fully-zipped child when Evander Holyfield sat down next to him in 1996.
Also, notice the cyclist hat with the white stripe. You just don't see that nowadays.
Holyfield: "So I told Tyson, 'You bite me one more time, I'll kill you.' He didn't say nothing after that...say, you alright?"
Cool J: "So-sorry...I just...you're like my favorite ever."