The 10 Things You'll Learn To Hate About the 2009 College Football Season

Alex FergusonSenior Analyst IIJune 13, 2009

After writing a heck of a lot about teams we hate, it's important to acknowledge that 2008 wasn't such a bad year to hate the teams you hate, either.

If you hate Notre Dame, then you would have loved the loss to Syracuse.

If you hate Texas, you would laugh at the fact that despite the Longhorns beating Oklahoma, OU was still in the National Title game.

If you hate Alabama and Florida State, then you're probably in the hospital spitting blood after laughing about their offseason issues.

Yet the 2009 year is coming around soon, in a flash, and the end of the season will once again be upon you.

But by the end of the last game of 2009, the VFA has 10 things you'll learn to hate about the 2009 season.

1. The BSC (sorry! BCS!)

Let's face it, the BCS was a shambles last year and will be just as unpopular again.

Foreseeably, no team will go unbeaten this year, and then it'll be up to a bunch of writers and some computers to figure out who will be playing the National Championship Game, sparking fans of everyone from USC to Florida wanting to burn down the NCAA's headquarters...as usual.

Where's Skynet when you need it?

2. People going on and on about Notre Dame

I've been looking at the schedule, and the Irish could conceivably go 11-1 this year, and go to a BCS—and maybe on a long shot—the title game this year.

Oh, and you'll hear lots about Jimmy Clausen being the dark-horse for the Heisman, Knute Rockne, Rudy, and too many other awards from NBC. And if Lou Holtz is on ESPN this year, then him too.

3. The recreation of the Texas-Oklahoma bunfight

Unless you were on another planet last season, you'll know that UT beat OU 45-35, sparking a monstrous controversy that was only a bit less wild than the current Iranian election.

Well, if Oklahoma State beat Texas and Texas beats OU, and OU beats Oklahoma State, then once again, you'll be asking: "Why in the hell couldn't the Big XII sort out their decision making in the offseason?"

4. Talk of Colt, Tim, and Sam

We know, we know. Mr. McCoy, Tebow, and Bradford are all Heisman contenders.

And all three will all go to the NFL (you heard it here first!). And that means that for the weeks of the CFB season, that's all we'll probably hear about. The agents must be rubbing their hands.

Good NFL fans who support crappy quarterbacks will be hoping for a winless season—all three of them will be future greats. After battling it out for the 2009 Heisman award (which you'll also hear a lot about).

5. The Gator Chomp

This Florida Gators side is primed for another run at the National Title. That means that we'll be seeing an awful lot of people "doing the Gator Chomp"—and possibly a lot of them wearing 'jorts', too. Urghh...

6. People jawing about the Big Ten

The Conference's laughable showing in the 2009 bowls has meant that according to the BCS, the Big Ten sucks.

You'll hear words like "slow" and "not good enough for the NFL" thrown around, as well as "not as competitive as the Pac-10 or SEC".

So if you love the Big Ten, get your defenses ready, because people are going to be raining bombs.

7. The constant talk of a USC-Florida match-up

Not to put two schools under pressure or anything, but everyone seems to think that USC and Florida will play each other for a National Title.

Just in case you missed it, USC's got to start a new quarterback and Florida's going to really miss Percy Harvin. Plus, USC always seems to lose a Pac-10 game while Florida's got to run the table in the SEC—which isn't exactly easy.

So why don't we give the schools a break until October, eh?

8. Fickle fans, fickle broadcasters

After giving schools a ton of hype early on, a team will lose a couple of games and the fans will only show up if they can boo...loudly. The broadcasters will probably do the same sort of thing. Sorry, Michigan.

9. The upsets

If you're at a top, or near to the top-ranked school during November, prepare to hate the school that beats you either on a final-second field goal/interception or simply because you forgot to bring the heaters to the bench.

Because when the weather gets cold, Mr. and Mrs. Upset are in town. And believe me, you'll learn to hate them.

10. Your new coach's guts

After losing to Wichita Tech 49-13, you'll be pretty upset with the coach that promised everything and delivered nothing.

So light the fires, and run the boy out of town! There will always be a new one to run out of town next year!


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