Tom Brady Is Superhuman, Doctor Confirms

Evan SweeneyCorrespondent IJune 2, 2009

FOXBORO, MA - SEPTEMBER 7:  Quarterback Tom Brady #12 of the New England Patriots walks off the field with the aid of the Patriots staff after being injured on a play during their NFL game against the Kansas City Chiefs on September 7, 2008 at Gillette Stadium in Foxboro, Massachusetts. The Patriots defeated the Chiefs 17-10. (Photo by Elsa Garrison/Getty Images)

So you thought a silly little knee injury would really affect Tom Brady? Well don't you feel stupid.

Maybe a mere mortal would just roll over and die, but Brady's no mere mortal, as confirmed by Dr. Neal ElAttrache, an orthopedic surgeon specializing in sports medicine at the Kerlan-Jobe Clinic in Los Angeles, and the man who performed the most famous knee surgery in the history of mankind.ย 

Tom Brady's "astounding physical abilities and his determination to get back on the football field after a serious knee injury" allowed the superhuman QB to recover at a much faster rate, surprising even the medical team that worked with him, ElAttrache told the Los Angeles Times today.

"With regard to his recovery of strength, I've never seen anything quite like it," ElAttrache told The Times. "With an average person, it would have taken probably twice as long to get range of motion and strength back."

You hear that? Average person.

Here is another too-good-to-be-true quote from ElAttrache:

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"Let's face it, guys that are athletes like him, they're strung together different. By and large, they follow the same biologic rules as the rest of us. However, they're able to do things with their neuromuscular control and their strength gains and how they respond to exercise a little bit differently. Within safe limits of how we know how these things heal after an operation like this, I had to take that into consideration."

Tonight, fathers all over New England are tucking their sons into bed, telling them how their favorite quarterback is genetically constructed like one of the X-Men. And those same sons are thinking about what super powers they would have if their dad was bringing Lombardi trophies back to Boston instead of telling stories.

Perhaps the best part of the article was the moment of affirmation for ElAttrache in January, when he and Brady were having a catch at a park by the ocean just before dusk.

"When I saw the happiness on his face whenever he had that ball in his hands and was able to get out there and move around, I thought, 'Wow, he's much further ahead than I even thought he could be,'" ElAttrache said. "That was sort of his gift to me to show me we're good."

Sound eerily familiar to a certain scene in Rocky III?

In all seriousness, maybe everyone, including the doc, needs to pump the brakes a little bit.

First of all, ElAttrache is Brady's "friend and occasional golf partner," according to the article. Not that there's anything wrong with a golf buddy, but he's also the guy's doctor. Do you think there is a slight conflict of interest there? What's he going to say, "Yeah, Brady's knee still looks like a game of Jenga. Personally, I'm very concerned."

Is it like Belichick and the Patriots to throw caution to the wind, trade Matt Cassel, and plug in a quarterback that isn't 100 percent?

No.

But the truth is, there's no telling how Brady's knee will react until week one when he's under center and there are 11 guys on the opposite side of the ball trying rip his head off. Tossing the ol' pigskin around is one thing, but the real affirmation will come when he steps on the field.

So let's at least wait until training camp hits before we start handing him the MVP trophy or deeming him a genetic mutant.